i need advice

Ok so here is my story. I dated a girl with a child from another man for about 6 months. Drama happened and she went back to him. So here is where the confusion starts. Her last period started Aug 5 or 6 not 100% sure. We had break up sex for the last time Aug 24 i pulled out but we all know that is not 100% surefire. So about a week or two after that she got drunk and had unprotected sex with him. Not sure on the date her mom is the one keeping me updated. So she is pregnant and hasn't told me. She has gone out of her way to lie to me about it. Her mom is keeping me updated because she know there is a small chance its mine. I cant confront her because her mom asked me not to say she told me, and i don't wanna lose her trust. do i do and how big are the odds of it being mine. What do i do if she doesn't tell me and in nine months i get a phone call "hey you're a dad i'm alone please help". That's my biggest fear right now. I'm honestly ok with the fact that i may haven't been anything more than "the other guy" for six months, but i honestly think it might be mine.

Um... why is her mom sneaking around behind her back to tell her EX about her pregnancy?

I think you should ask her mother.

 

I agree that it's really weird for her mother to be sneaking around behind her daughter's back, keeping you updated and frankly even that she knows this much about her daughter's sex life! It's weird and it's intrusive. But then - to tell you things of this magnitude and then ask you not to confront her daughter?? I mean... no. All of this is unfair to her daughter, to her daughter's new (old) man and to you. And she's really sticking her nose into all of it. She is SO far out of line that I'm not even sure she knows that there IS a line.

 

So - even though I am not a fan of this woman (the mother), she did kind of do you a solid by giving you a head's up and she could end up being your child's grandmother. So - to make a limited attempt to keep the peace - and since she seems to loooove being in the middle of things, I think you should confront the mom. Let her know where you are coming from. Let her know that this is all extremely stressful and life changing for you - and while you don't want to get her in "trouble" - you absolutely have to do the right thing for you and speak to the daughter to ask for a DNA test. Then do it. These days, they can do a DNA test before the baby is born. You have every right to know, and if anyone tries to stop you, it's time to lawyer up.

 

That's my opinion. No need to live in fear or under the mother's thumb. Just find out the facts and go from there. If you are the father, you have legal rights. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

What do i do if she doesn't tell me and in nine months i get a phone call "hey you're a dad i'm alone please help". That's my biggest fear right now. I'm honestly ok with the fact that i may haven't been anything more than "the other guy" for six months, but i honestly think it might be mine.

Then if that happens then ask for a DNA test to be done. It will prove one way or the other. If she never calls you about it then let it be. You're better off just getting out of her life for good and let her boil in the soup she's created for herself and having unprotected sex with a virtual stranger. (six months makes you strangers to one another)

 

Smarten up and wear a rubber or you're going to be wondering if you're the father more then once... not to mention the STI's. Geesh!