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College DRAMA??


December123

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*** This is the very FIRST WEEK

***College" as in NOT university- We're all 18 (ish) and live with parents****

 

Basically, the majority of the class all went to the cinema together and made sure me and quite a few others were NOT invited, they made a huge effort to rub it in our faces- Loudly whispering about it in class and even YELLING "CINEMA!!!"

WE HAVE ALL BEEN VERY KIND TO THEM, we always talk to them, complement them etc NEVER rude.

Its blatantly obvious they were trying to upset us.

***I'm NOT upset about simply not going to the cinema and I'm upset about what this means that they purposely excluded us after a total of FOUR DAYS OF COLLEGE, this is an AWFUL way to start the year, it would be good if we all had good relationships with one another but it feels like they don't want that.

I am upset BUT I'm acting civil with them.

 

1.) What should I do?

2.) Should we bring it up with them?

3.) Do you think they did it to intentionally upset us? I think there's a possibility they didn't realise but still, it should be blatantly obvious

 

*** I know I'm gonna get a bunch of "you're taking this too seriously" "you're being childish" comments

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People are going to treat you badly throughout your life. It is just the way of things. Is this the first time you have been socially excluded? Lucky for you if you made it to 18 that way.

 

I personally don't care to waste my time with people who don't want to be around me. If I was in situation like that I would simply find a few people that interest me that weren't invited and go and do something else. Leave it open to whoever wants to go.

 

You are young and it is a childish problem. That doesn't make trying to give you advice pointless. How else do you get over childish problems and move on to big ones?

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High School, sure, got it.

 

This does all sound very high school cliques to me and to be honest, sounds very 1980s nerds vs jocks. What they are doing is actually a form of bullying. 'We are the cool kids and the rest are just dirt'.

However, the only thing you are going to do by complaining about it or trying to get revenge, is create some kind of war between the two groups. And that is far too much stress.

 

Why should you really care what half the class is up to? If they want to do their thing and rub it in your faces, then go and do your own thing that is special to you. By trying to play a one up game, then you are joining in thier childish games.

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Wait hold up, you're 18 and attending higher education? Didn't you just make a thread lamenting your parents' shoddy parenting in not encouraging you to go to school? You made it sound like you were like 35 and that, in your mind, you'd missed the bus.

 

In any case, yes, you're taking it too seriously. And while it's obviously incredibly immature of them to pull those antics in class, I've never really bought into the comic book villain caricature and wouldn't be surprised if one or more of your friends, even if not you personally, got snooty, abrasive, or worse with them after they caught wind they had the audacity to go to the theaters with people they enjoy rather than issuing a blanket invite.

 

You don't need to all be friends with each other or have good relationships. I don't understand that whole expectation. Just focus on your studies and those you do get along with.

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....You are in college now. This means that you focus on what your purpose for being there is - attend lectures as needed, learn, pass your exams with top grades, move forward in life. You aren't in college to engage in high school level drama nonsense. Who gives a sh$t what group of people clicked together and what they want to do with their free time. Not your business or your concern.

 

If you need new friends, join school groups that interest you and you'll meet like minded people. Time to leave high school mentality behind. College is not about being buddies with everyone in your class, it's about education.

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Wait, I took it as being in British College, which is High School as opposed to American College, which is University. So you are in your final year at High School?
That's what I thought at first. Her previous threads are throwing me off. She made a couple about her parents not being more encouraging about pursuing higher education, like she'd missed an opportunity as a result, which would make it even more confusing if she's not even out of secondary school yet.
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British college, finished highschool but didnt do well so have to get extra qualifications for 1 year then I'll move out to university. BUT it is not the same as highschool, you get ppl from all walks of life here, it's very popular with 25-40 age group

 

OK, so you are not there to socialize, you are there to make sure you move on to uni. Focus on your priorities in your classes, which is study, get good grades, succeed. If you get sidetracked on who is friends with who and what they are doing with their free time, you'll be wasting your time and energy on worthless causes while getting totally derailed from what matters.

 

This sounds like US version of community college which gives those who didn't do so well in high school a chance to earn some credit hours and proper grades to move on to uni. I'll just emphasize again that it's not a place where you focus on who is friends with whom, you focus on those grades and your studies.

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I get it now. From my Country we call it Technical Institutes or polytech. It's an almost university. In Australia they call it Tafe. But still, these are adults, not a bunch of high school kids. They are trying to go through higher education same as uni, so what you describe is rather childish.

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British college, finished highschool but didnt do well so have to get extra qualifications for 1 year then I'll move out to university. BUT it is not the same as highschool, you get ppl from all walks of life here, it's very popular with 25-40 age group

 

In the United States that's called Community College. You can finalize general education there and just finish University in 2 years.

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Even though I'm only 18 I still feel like I've missed the bus for university. It would be fine if I got in next year BUT if I don't get in then, I WILL just feel like giving up and get really depressed, I do not want to be a "mature student" (anyone over 21 at the start in UK universities) I don't want to be in uni with a bunch of 18 year olds, when I'm years older. No offense but when I hear about mature students I just feel like they're wasting their time, I don't wanna be like that. There's literally no point in that. That would be HELL for me.

No one ever believed in me, no one ever told me I could do anything with my life and I've pretty much just proved them right going to a sh** local college.

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Even though I'm only 18 I still feel like I've missed the bus for university. It would be fine if I got in next year BUT if I don't get in then, I WILL just feel like giving up and get really depressed, I do not want to be a "mature student" (anyone over 21 at the start in UK universities) I don't want to be in uni with a bunch of 18 year olds, when I'm years older. No offense but when I hear about mature students I just feel like they're wasting their time, I don't wanna be like that. There's literally no point in that. That would be HELL for me.

No one ever believed in me, no one ever told me I could do anything with my life and I've pretty much just proved them right going to a sh** local college.

 

......do you even understand why people go to uni????

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Even though I'm only 18 I still feel like I've missed the bus for university. It would be fine if I got in next year BUT if I don't get in then, I WILL just feel like giving up and get really depressed, I do not want to be a "mature student" (anyone over 21 at the start in UK universities) I don't want to be in uni with a bunch of 18 year olds, when I'm years older. No offense but when I hear about mature students I just feel like they're wasting their time, I don't wanna be like that. There's literally no point in that. That would be HELL for me.

No one ever believed in me, no one ever told me I could do anything with my life and I've pretty much just proved them right going to a sh** local college.

 

I left my degree half unfinished in my 20s to pursue a career that fast-tracked. I returned in my late 30's as a 'mature' student, and went on to finish my master's after 40. Hardly a waste of time.

 

The key word about mature students is 'mature'. You're still looking at it through an immature lense, and so you're making yourself miserable about it.

 

That's what immaturity DOES.

 

I'd skip worrying about everyone else, put your eyes back on your own paper, and surprise everyone, including yourself, with your ability to accel. Immature students look for drama and excuses, and they tend to find those. Start regarding yourself as a 'mature' student now, and act the part. You'll thank yourself later.

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That's quite an attitude....wow. Honestly I don't think any 18 year old should go to University. I think it's better to work a few years, find an area your passionate about and focus on developing a career then.

 

Almost all of my friends group went to university straight from high school and almost all of us ended up in debt with useless degrees....and then had to go back for what we really wanted/specializations. I have 2 university degrees and honestly my first was a waste of time and money.

 

University is about getting education, skills and qualifications for a career...not to be a cool 18 year old partying. Mature students gain waaaaay more and are probably a lot more successful.

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Even though I'm only 18 I still feel like I've missed the bus for university. It would be fine if I got in next year BUT if I don't get in then, I WILL just feel like giving up and get really depressed, I do not want to be a "mature student" (anyone over 21 at the start in UK universities) I don't want to be in uni with a bunch of 18 year olds, when I'm years older. No offense but when I hear about mature students I just feel like they're wasting their time, I don't wanna be like that. There's literally no point in that. That would be HELL for me.

No one ever believed in me, no one ever told me I could do anything with my life and I've pretty much just proved them right going to a sh** local college.

 

Mature students have there own story. Maybe they didn't like the career they picked. My friend was a high school math teacher. She had a degree in Math and General education.

 

She went back to University to get a degree in forensic science.

 

I think it's important for you to be street smart and have a thicker skin. Think yourself as a little tank and nobody can stop you.

 

My sister in law just graduated from University with degree in political science and minor in sociology. She is heading to law school.

She didn't get to graduate on stage while at High school because she failed a class. Based on what people tell me. Community college professors are harder compared to University professors.

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Also if the idea of being a mature student is "HELL" for you I suggest you go volunteer with those less fortunate (or turn on the news) and open your eyes....

 

I'm sorry but there are those out there who are really really suffering, many being children, who live in terror and violence and don't know if they'll live through the day.

 

You need an attitude adjustment.

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I totally agree with you, but I just think it makes the place a worse environment for learning if you are the odd one out. I've been in situations where I'm the oldest and yeah I can manage but I just never feel 100% and I think it's important to feel good in any educational environment.

I don't want to miss out on the experiences uni students get to have, i want to live in the dorms (it'll be all I can afford anyway) and do all that stuff, I've heard about mature students feeling uncomfortable living there and at certain student events.

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University is about education. The social aspect is a huge plus and yes probably easier to navigate being close in age....but really 21 and 18 is not such a huge gap.

 

Being older should not be deciding factor when pursuing higher education. All this is really showing is that you want the social/party/fun side of university more than the education aspect.

 

Also from experience mature students tended to do better, they focused on studying not partying and were more likely to take advantage of opportunities to enhance their education (ie volunteer opportunities, optional workshops/seminars, etc)

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