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Rude?


firstluvstruck

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I took a girl out for dinner and drinks and didn't get a thank you. And was ghosted mid convo after the date.

 

Now that I'm getting over the initial infatuation I'm realizing it's for the best it didn't work out.

 

Am I bitter or is that rude behavior?

It is rude but I would still prefer that to being lead on indefinitely.

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It'd be nice if people were more upfront, but at the end of the day, rejection is rejection. Assuming we're not talking months in, it's inconsequential, even if a bit discourteous, if she chooses drop off without a word.

 

I do think it's pretty rude to not thank someone if they've bought you food and drinks and you don't say thanks... and that goes for any facet of life, not just dating. But I'd get into the practice of cutting your wallet some slack and not treating a lady to dinner upon first meeting her. There are plenty of people in need out there you can buy dinner for if you feel so inclined to feed a stranger.

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But I'd get into the practice of cutting your wallet some slack and not treating a lady to dinner upon first meeting her. There are plenty of people in need out there you can buy dinner for if you feel so inclined to feed a stranger.

 

Just jumping in board j ..ok ok J's post * cough ........The money men must go through while in the dating game with this kinda stuff ... 50 -50 ...new rule for everyone

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Two separate questions.

 

1. Please dont be bitter; that is negativity that you choose to carry within you and it is destructive.

 

2. Rude. Ghosted mid convo (so I assume text convo) after several months of texting is heartless.

 

Lets assume her phone exploded and corrupted her cloud accounts. And be glad now and not later.

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Yes, online. Spoke for a few months prior to meeting. Thanks for the replies.

 

It sounds as if this is the first meeting?

Consider nothing more than a meet and greet. It's not a date and you don't need to treat it as such.

 

You two are meeting for the first time maybe over a cup of coffee or a drink to decide if you would be interested in dating in the future.

This way you invest very little time, money and effort into something that may not go anywhere.

 

In between don't spend a lot of time with electronic communication.

It creates a false connection that may not hold water if the other levels of attraction aren't there to support it.

As you have learned, you won't know this until you are actually in each others company.

 

Either way, she was rude.

Next time handle your part differently

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I had plenty of fun-filled 1st dates, and many turned into something more. I wouldn't skimp on the dates just because you had one person ghost you. I would however talk to them on the phone a few times if you are online dating, or if you happen to meet, arrange for date within a week. Coffee is something you do with friends, which really sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. So sometimes it helps to build a rapport initially by conversing with them (no texting); you really can't tell if you have any chemistry by text, and if they are bursting into tears while you're on the phone, then at least you know they are in no shape to date!

 

So go ahead and planning bowling, getting drinks, making a painting at one of those classes, going to the park and having a small picnic with food you pick up and out together. Take a bow and arrow lesson together, cooking class for desserts. Just get to know them beforehand, and either way, you will have a great 1st date.

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I had plenty of fun-filled 1st dates, and many turned into something more. I wouldn't skimp on the dates just because you had one person ghost you. I would however talk to them on the phone a few times if you are online dating, or if you happen to meet, arrange for date within a week. Coffee is something you do with friends, which really sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. So sometimes it helps to build a rapport initially by conversing with them (no texting); you really can't tell if you have any chemistry by text, and if they are bursting into tears while you're on the phone, then at least you know they are in no shape to date!

 

So go ahead and planning bowling, getting drinks, making a painting at one of those classes, going to the park and having a small picnic with food you pick up and out together. Take a bow and arrow lesson together, cooking class for desserts. Just get to know them beforehand, and either way, you will have a great 1st date.

 

I prefer texting and then meeting. People have strong opinions about phone v. text; if someone wants a phone call I will agree. However, I find the phone misleading in both directions -- leading me to meet people I don't like, and to avoid people I probably would have liked. The man I am currently dating, had we spoken on the phone first I probably would have declined. He is articulate and erudite; his manner of speech reminds me of someone with no education at all even as he uses a broad vocabulary and parses challenging concepts. Hearing him speak while also having other non-verbal information was important. In contrast, I once met someone after speaking whom I was sure I would like and I disliked him instantly and strongly so. My conclusion is to text enough to get a layer beneath the surface, and then meet for an hour or so.

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Disagree with tattolbunnie that you should continue to shell out for dates. Meeting for coffee as a first meet is very common practice. I did it with my boyfriend and I can assure you, we are not "friends".

 

Don't waste good money until you've met in person once before. Otherwise, you'll just get used.

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