I need advice folks.

Hello! I am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend.We live in different countries but we speak always.I fly frequently to Italy to her and we have a solid relationship.When I go there I sleep at her place,with her family,they are already like my in-laws.I am already considered a son in law.They talk about our marriage and stuff.So,we are great,her family loves me,friends,relatives,everyone.My family loves her because she is a good girl.We are having a few issues,mainly for my jealousy about her exes and some guys that message her from time to time.But,after one year that is getting weaker because my trust in her is already in its place.She had sex with five guys before me,two of them on one night stand.I have swallowed my pride and jealousy and that is not making an issue so much.The problem is me because she is my first girlfriend and I had all of the experiences with her.She opened early about previous relationships,sex and such.Again,my problem because I have lied to her before meeting her,I have told her that I had sex before,and I did not really.She wanted to end this,but forgave me.So,our first meeting was in November last year,since then we grew as a couple.A real couple that share everything with each other.She is supportive of my studies and my searching for work in Italy,because I want to transfer there from Serbia.Beside my jealousy,we have the problem with intimacy,because when I go to her,her family is there.Makes a bit of a problem for making love and sharing time properly.But,no hard feelings,we are trying to close the distance soon and we are optimistic.As she knows that I do not hide anything from her and neither she does from me,we are very bonded.She loves me because I am a good boyfriend,she and her family see a great father to be,my character,my beauty as a man(I will never admit it because I do not like my raised ego),my intelligence,protectiveness,support,that I have learned Italian because of love and all the things that a boyfriend should do.What lacks as she told me is insecuritiy.Yes,insecurity.She told me that I am giving her everything and that she wants me for life.She pointed out one ex of hers.He was cold,rather ugly,but intelligent.He was manipulative and forced her to choose her faculty before,to give him her body,love,everything.They lasted one year,and no one ever liked him.But when I do something wrong or she is not satisfied with sex,she compares me with him,because he gave her anxiety,uncertainty,feelings.She misses this,and she told me that I can not do this because I am not like him.But she tells me that she wants insecurity,that she wants a challenge.I have told her more than once:Should I make you jealous?Lie to you?Play cold,distinguish my feelings for you?I am not like that by nature.I do not have female friends,I am even rarely seeing my friends,what then?If this is the problem,then what the heck.Maybe she is not so much affectionate with me or maximally attracted because I do not posses that "game" element.I feel now like a good husband more than a boyfriend.Maybe that difference between her ex and me makes a confusion.The one hated by everyone but not her,and me who am loved by everyone and complimented every single moment for only being good.Maybe she wants me to treat her bad from time to time,I do not know.That would be all for now,I wish that someone who can recognize these behaviour or case advise me a bit,I will be eager to learn new things.Thank you!

Be true to yourself. Don't forget your values just to satisfy another person. True friends and lovers will love you for who you are, 'imperfections' and all.

I think she was abused by her previous boyfriend and as what happens in cases of abuse, she equates what he did to her as love. I certainly don't want you to do anything you feel uncomfortable doing, but maybe you could talk dirty to her in Croatian or Italian, or maybe call her a bad name while you're having sex. Or maybe you could pull her hair a bit. Find some sort of compromise to get her off.

Yes,I am already talking to her in Serbian(You were not so wrong about the language) and behaving dominant.But I do not want to hurt her,that is just something that I am avoiding.Maybe I am too affectionate with her,yes,we changed places.Unfortunately.We already had a discussion about this,perhaps I am too affectionate because I never had a girlfriend before and I am focusing all of my attention and love to her.That leaves her no space to demonstrate her affection to me,and I should distance myself a bit.She becomes a lot more affectionate when I am silent because she thinks that I am angry or something is wrong.I know exactly why.Among her highschool friends there is one guy she had a one night stand.He is the best friend of her ex.He insisted that they have sex on one school trip,while she was intoxicated.And I do not like the company when he is there.I have pointed out this too many times.It bothers me,that she had sex with him and I have to wait for a lightyear that she comes alone and kiss me.Actually,one night on the beach party I have saved this guy's leg,he was bleeding out.But I do not want anyone to suffer,how much that some things are bothering me.After one year together,one day at her place,she actually came to me while I was writing something on my laptop and kissed me.I was so surprised,because she never does this.She then said is normal,we are a couple.Yes,it would be normal if it was more frequent.I have missed love before,had a tough growing,my father's death,friends left me and such.For the last two years I live alone and I need company and affection,after all I am human being,even though I have my family near,but they all took separate ways,siblings with their partners and my mother with her companion.I just want to grow as a good man,to love and be loved,and that my girlfriend's affection is not forced,like she is obligated.Not one day passed without her giving me a compliment or telling me how much she loves me.But I do love physical touch,cuddling and kisses.This is missing.When she knows that I am about to leave for my country,she becomes more affectionate.But meanwhile,her phone is a priority and she just does not bother at all.

I think you are way too focused on her past and her ex's and what she has done with who, which is actually none of your business.

When a woman says she wants a challenge, what she actually means is that she wants a man who is strong and able to express and stand by his opinions even if they are not popular. It also means that she wants a man who is able to create and enforce boundaries and will not tolerate being walked on like a doormat. In other words, if she tries to treat him like dirt, he will not put up with it.

For example, comparing you to her ex is pretty horrible behavior. A guy with a strong sense of self respect would cut her off directly, firmly, but kindly and then stand by and enforce that boundary. He would let her know that this is not acceptable to him and she either apologizes and never does this again or he is out and...mean it. Instead, you are allowing her to walk all over you and treat you like dirt, including denying affection. Again, this is one of those where you don't complain, but simply tell her this is what you need and expect to get from a relationship and if she is not capable, that's OK, but you are parting ways. It's not an angry ultimatum, it's giving her an option to fix herself and respect you or you respect yourself and find a better mate. I'll also add in that you never ever tell someone that you will part ways if things aren't fixed, unless you genuinely mean it and will go through with it. If you just threaten to do, they cross that boundary and you stick around and say nothing, they just called your bluff and you proved to them once again that you don't have a spine and can't be respected because your words mean nothing.

She is comparing me with her ex only if I mess up something really bad.In other cases she does not mention anyone.Yes,I treat her like a princess,but when she does something wrong,I stand my ground.Before I would just forget about it,but I am not letting her now to run over me,I am much capable than that.Currently,I am left without friends,because my friends let me down.Forgot about me and she is pissed at them.I am not,but she constantly call them bad names and such.I share the same opinion about her male friends who are rude,immature and ignorant.She then asks me why do I do not make an effort to really know them.I just do not want to.Then she tells me to cool down and pretend at least.Well,I can do that but I will still feel empty.With her female friends is a different story.I like them a lot and she is satisfied.We actually argue about simple and stupid stuff.Really,not anything important.But two things stand on the way,she thinks that I am bad in sex(issue because of anxiety and lack of privacy)and that uncertainty that she wishes for.And what I seek?Well,that she does not evade affection.I need a hug,kiss,cuddle from time to time or that she actually wants me.Not that she tells me if I want to have sex like it is lunch time.I am falling into trap,why should it be so difficult?She has to know that I can not be affectionate for both of us.That I am not a man and a woman in one person.I know so many couples who are evenly affectionate with each other.Yes,there are cases when the man is a bit more colder and woman needs to be affectionate and just femminine.I have to admit that I have cried that one time that she put an effort and kissed me when I have least expected.She surprised me,in a good way.But I can not do this alone anymore.If I start to be colder with her,she annoys me with questions,like why I am like that or what is wrong.I have put my girlfriend on a piedestal too soon.Then her flaws flooded me and I am recovering from that,just trying to accept her as she is.She is one beautiful girl,but so insecure about her weight and look.Puts a mask with the makeup like many girls only to feel a bit stronger.But that is not her.I love her whole,inside and out.Some of her girl friends want me or tried to initiate something with me,but I have nicely told them to go away.If she does not start to realize where she is wrong,I will have to make a diversion,some sort of making her jealous or make her to understand that I can find whoever I want,perhaps then she will be more attracted to me.