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Thread: Is it wrong to ask bf for half the household expenses?

  1. #1
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    Is it wrong to ask bf for half the household expenses?

    My boyfriend has been living with me for over a year. The first 4.5 months he paid nothing because he was looking for a job. Fine. So then he started contributing 600/mo which ends up being 25% of the household expenses. I was ok with it because he didn't make much. 2 or 3 months ago he got a better paying job but continues to pay the same. We spend more on groceries and light bill is more because of the AC. I confronted him and told him he will need to start paying half. He had a fit. Said that he didn't think I was like this, and that he also buys stuff for the house and takes me shopping and buys me things I need. He will buy me things once in a while and as far as the things for the house we both share doing that and lately, I have been buying things to give him a break. He has no expenses other than his 30.00 per month phone bill. He is being selfish and wants all the money to himself while I struggle. He sees I have a child and back to school I had to spend a lot on things and I still need to buy stuff. I never get to do things for myself hardly ever. He took me shopping once in the spring and then once in the summer and it was for my birthday. Now he is telling me off and saying how selfish I am. I told him he should have no issue paying half being he lives in the house with us. I don't think hes being fair. Every time I try to bring up expenses he has a fit, and tells me he will see what he can give extra. Meanwhile. he buys himself 3 pairs of jeans one check. then spends over 80.00 on shirts this check, plus a watch and I don't know what else he spends his money on. AND when he is broke and has no money before pay period I loan him 10-20 or so to buy coffee or whatever.

    Tell me am I being used or taken advantage of here??

  2. #2
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    Yes! When it comes to money, my opinion is always the same: Show him the door!

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by dias
    Yes! When it comes to money, my opinion is always the same: Show him the door!
    I thought so. He made me feel guilty for asking for his equal share. He pays 600 and I pay almost 1400 not including my cell phone and credit card!

  4. #4
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    My god girl ...kick his @rse out or to the cash machine ....you let this happen and now he has got comfy with all his money ...so stick to your guns .

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by pippy longstocking
    My god girl ...kick his @rse out or to the cash machine ....you let this happen and now he has got comfy with all his money ...so stick to your guns .
    Yeah I was way too nice. He thought he could blind me by taking me shopping every now and then. Now he has to go. Let him find a place paying that little.

  7. #6
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    It doesn't matter what he spends on himself buying clothes, etc. Nor does it matter what you spend on yourself or your daughter.

    What matters here is that you are sharing a household, and he should pay 50% of the household expenses. Period.

    Period.

  8. #7
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    He thinks he's still living with his parents. And I'm sure his parents would have had him paying more. This is not good for your relationship. He's already sponging off you. You have a child you're raising and it seems like you have a big baby as a bf who wants to be supported himself. Come up with a number that reflects what his half should be (probably minus baby expenses) and present it to him. If he won't pay up, kick him out.

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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    It doesn't matter what he spends on himself buying clothes, etc. Nor does it matter what you spend on yourself or your daughter.

    What matters here is that you are sharing a household, and he should pay 50% of the household expenses. Period.

    Period.
    Exactly. He seems to think that what is doing is enough. Bills come first and foremost, then what you have leftover you figure out what you can do. That is what I always learned my whole life. That is what responsible adults do. He is 42 for goodness sakes, I know people who are much younger than him who are more responsible.

    Heck I was more responsible than him at 16.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by DanZee
    He thinks he's still living with his parents. And I'm sure his parents would have had him paying more. This is not good for your relationship. He's already sponging off you. You have a child you're raising and it seems like you have a big baby as a bf who wants to be supported himself. Come up with a number that reflects what his half should be (probably minus baby expenses) and present it to him. If he won't pay up, kick him out.
    I even came up with 40% because I make a bit more than him. Technically, that shouldn't even mater. But he also had a fit over 40% so he can hit the road.

  11. #10
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Unfortunately this is not only about money, it's about his total lack of respect for you. According to your past threads you've stated that you've contemplated tossing him out, yet he's still there.

    It's also unfair to allow your child to have to live with this monster. He's a waste of space, and you deserve better for both you and your child.

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