It is normal to feel the need to impress your ex?

It's been half a year after my break up with my first boyfriend (we were together for 9 months). For context, we were in the same social circle before we were together and we still are.

Our group has this group Skype call thing where we can just hop on and talk. Him and I briefly talk roughly twice a week. Our conversations are pretty ordinary - it is as though we never dated.

I actually called him on his phone a month ago (for the first time after our break up) and apologized to him for taking him for granted during our relationship. This was also the first time after the break up that we talked about our past. I didn't want to get back with him and I made that clear - I just suddenly came to the realization that I was being too hard on him back then and I felt terrible. To my relief, he said that he hadn't really been thinking about our relationship at all and it didn't bother him at all anymore.

But what bothers me the most is that whenever I am on Skype with him I feel this strong need to sort of "prove" to him that I am not the grumpy person I was when I was with him. Throughout these months I have met new friends and have noticed qualities in people I would love in a partner that he doesn't have.

I often try to convince myself that the break-up was necessary because he lied to me and was insensitive (yes, we both messed up the relationship).

Sometimes I get a little bit frustrated in our Skype calls because he's not contributing to the conversation. It shows through, and afterwards, it makes me feel bad to have shown him me in my agitated state again.

Does anyone else feel this way as well?

Actions speak louder than words. You can show that you are actually a better person now than you were before just by how you talk to him. Dont make a big deal out of conversations, be your usual nice self and it will show thru the chat.

I think it's normal to feel that way after a break-up. You have hope somewhere in the back of your mind that your ex might come back, so you want to show them what they're missing. You're human and the break-up stings, even if that has faded over time.

I would stop talking to him on Skype. There isn't much point and it's interrupting your healing.

Well I have been walking passed my exes window for the last 3 hours in nothing but heels ....

seriously , I think it is a normal reaction ... just try and let go of the need to do it .

It's not him you had to apologise to, but to yourself.

If you were truly over it you wouldn't feel the need to prove anything to him, let alone talk to him.

I would suggest no contact until you are truly indifferent, are in a good head space about yourself and don't care what he thinks.

I know how you feel, and yes, it is normal. It took me just over a year to get over my first relationship of only five months. In the beginning I was posting stuff on social media to prove to him I was doing great. Eventually I realised how silly it was and I unfriended him. Then I turned my focus on myself, to prove that I would be ok.

You will get there eventually! Best of luck. Put yourself first, always.