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Thread: Update to My Multi-Dating Thread

  1. #1
    katrina1980
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    Update to My Multi-Dating Thread

    Hey guys, so this is an update or a spin off on the multi-dating thread I started a couple of weeks ago. It's not about me but multi-dating in general.

    The new paralegal started at our office and we've become good friends, she's VERY cool. Currently she is dating three different guys and likes them ALL. She is also having sex with all of them! Not at the same time obviously, lol but she is attracted to all of them and can't decide who she likes best.

    They all know she's dating others and have told her they are as well. Everyone is cool with it.

    I asked her if she has told them she is also having sex with these other men, and she said no they don't discuss that. Only that they're all dating others. They have not asked if she is having sex with others nor has she asked them. She said it's just presumed since they're all multi-dating, that this includes sex.

    She is NOT bothered by this at all! She claims she really likes all of them but there is no jealousy or anything. From them either!

    She is actually very happy with the arrangement, and I could tell she meant it.

    She got no judgment from me whatsoever, to the contrary I was like "wow, girl, you sound like you've got it all together!"

    And since she's not bugging any of these guys for exclusivity or a commitment or even a "relationship," they're all like "chasing" her (for lack of a better word), however, SHE does her fair share of texting (double texting sometimes even) and "chasing" them too!

    Everyone seems happy!

    Like I said no judgment from me, but her carefree and casual attitude surprised me especially re the having sex with all of them.

    I think I mentioned in my last thread that while I AM multi-dating (have a date with a different guy tomorrow night), I don't think I could have sex with more than one at a time.

    And to update on the guy I spoke of in my last thread, we went away last weekend and he proposed engaging in this sex game that involved suffocation that I wasn't comfortable with, and ever since then, I have been turning off to him. He assured me it was safe but I've researched it and discovered that people have actually died engaging in this game!

    Do you guys know anything about such sex game? I am like extremely open-minded and adventurous sexually and we've engaged in some sex games prior, but THIS one I felt very uncomfortable about.

    He also told me he thinks he is "falling in love" with me which, after only six dates, also made me very uncomfortable. I also thought it might be a manipulation of sorts so I would feel comfortable engaging in this suffocation sex game.

    Honestly, I don't think I even want to see him again after this. Glad I waited to get to know him better before going exclusive!

  2. #2
    reinventmyself
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    Yah. . Isn't there a whole lot you can do before you get to suffocating each other during an orgasm??
    Seems like he skipped a few here

    To each his own.
    As far as multiple partners at one time. . if it works for others. . then who am I to say anything?

    But speaking for myself, I prefer it to be special. I can't help but think going about it in such a casual way could desensitize you at some point. I would hate for it to lose it's value. But that's me.

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    katrina1980
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    Quote Originally Posted by reinventmyself [Register to see the link]
    Yah. . Isn't there a whole lot you can do before you get to suffocating each other during an orgasm??
    Seems like he skipped a few here
    Well we've done quite a bit sexually which is probably why he felt okay proposing this suffocation game which apparently is supposed to bring on a sort of high that enhances the sexual experience.

    Sounds lovely lol, except for the fact that lots can go wrong and HAS gone wrong (people have died) so didn't feel comfortable with it.

    I added to my first post, which not sure you read, but this suffocation game combined with him announcing he thinks he is falling in love with me (after only six dates, which I think was part manipulation), I don't think I even want to see him again and am very glad I waited to get to know him better before going excusive.

    Appreciate your thoughts reinvent.

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    rosephase
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    Breath play is a fairly normal kink and it is a fairly dangerous one. If you don't like the idea of it DO NOT DO IT. If you do like the idea of it or want to try it I would suggest asking him where he learned it. What his safety precautions are. And make sure you have both a verbal and non-verbal safe word set up. Personally? breath play is dangerous enough that I wouldn't do it with someone until I knew them extremely well and felt like they had a rational and healthy relationship to kink. Because most the folks I know who are into breath play are the bottom or submissive in the scene. I would be nervous about a top who really got off on it. Like... is he in it because he really thinks it'll please you or is he in it because he likes choking women?

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    katrina1980
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    Quote Originally Posted by reinventmyself [Register to see the link]

    As far as multiple partners at one time. . if it works for others. . then who am I to say anything?

    But speaking for myself, I prefer it to be special. I can't help but think going about it in such a casual way could desensitize you at some point. I would hate for it to lose it's value. But that's me.
    No it's not just you, I prefer it to be special too!

    Lately I've been reading lots of threads about multi-dating (on various forums) and it appears women have more difficulty with it than men.

    That is why I made this thread, to show a different side.

    But you are right, to each his own! As long as everyone is happy that is all that matters.

    My friend is 31 by the way and has a 9-year old son, never married.

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    pippy longstocking
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    And to update on the guy I spoke of in my last thread, we went away last weekend and he proposed engaging in this sex game that involved suffocation that I wasn't comfortable with, and ever since then, I have been turning off to him. He assured me it was safe but I've researched it and discovered that people have actually died engaging in this game!

    Do you guys know anything about such sex game? I am like extremely open-minded and adventurous sexually and we've engaged in some sex games prior, but THIS one I felt very uncomfortable about.
    Asphyxiation orgasm ...I always feel this is a specialised subject haha ....really black and white , you either like it or you don't . The orgasm achieved while choking is on a different level ..well not choking as much as just not been able to breathe .....I would not recommend anyone do it until you have complete trust in your partner and have discussed safe words ..or in this case a safe action , to end it if one is uncomfortable , yes it can go wrong which is why no one should just ever ever plough into this kind of sex .

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    pippy longstocking
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    I don't think I have the energy any more to date one never mind multi date ... But fair play to her , everyone in her circle of dating seems to be good with it and all enjoying it ...

    I could have actually just made one post couldn't I ....

    thread hogger is what I am

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    katrina1980
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    My ex liked to simulate choking me during sex, but not to the point where I passed out though!

    Plus we had been together a very long time before engaging in it.

    I gotta admit, I did sort of get off on it as well.

    But this suffocation or asphyxiation game, that seemed a bit extreme to me. He said he has had lots of experience doing it and assured me it was safe.

    My sixth sense kicked it, it just didn't feel right to me.

    Weird feeling I have about him now, almost like a repulsion.

    I told him I have other plans this weekend so won't be seeing him, kind of doing the slow fade thing but think I probably need to share my feelings and tell him I would like to just move on.

    Again glad I waited to get to know him better (which included having sex) before going exclusive!
    Last edited by katrina1980; 09-08-2017 at 02:52 PM.

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    Batya33
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    " I am like extremely open-minded and adventurous sexually and we've engaged in some sex games prior, but THIS one I felt very uncomfortable about."

    I don't think engaging in sex games means that a person is open minded and adventurous sexually -could be a whole host of reasons someone does that (that might be why you do it though!) -perhaps the person thinks it will help him/her hold onto the relationship, perhaps they have a self-destructive streak or perhaps they are bored with their sex partner. For example.

    I agree with your decision for what it's worth. I think it's very risky for your friend to have sex with multiple partners without disclosing it (and knowing they are dating others) because of health reasons especially since she is a mom with a child of an age who is dependent on her to be healthy, etc. And I wouldn't assume she is carefree - it looks that way but you have no idea what she has going on or what issues that would lead her to justify putting other peoples' health at risk. Of course these men aren't asking her either, I get that -and I agree with her that dating can include intercourse.

    Glad you didn't put your two cents in -she didn't ask you and she's a grownup who knows the ramifications of her health choices (and of course if she gets pregnant she also won't know who the father is).

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    reinventmyself
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    Quote Originally Posted by pippy longstocking [Register to see the link]
    I would not recommend anyone do it until you have complete trust in your partner and have discussed safe words ..or in this case a safe action , to end it if one is uncomfortable , yes it can go wrong which is why no one should just ever ever plough into this kind of sex .
    ^^ this.
    I personally would be too much of a chicken.
    But if you are going to do it, it should be with someone you know very well and trust with your life.
    It might depend on it. . yikes.

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