loveyourself91 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 This guy I went on ONE date with after him flaking many times before (I spoke about him in a previous post). He sent me a text message last night which was a meme basically saying "send nudes" he put lol. I immediately got offended by it and assumed he was just looking for sex. He responded saying he only sent it to me because he thought it was funny. Mind you he didn't text me at all that day. When we do talk it's small talk like "whats up". As much as we hit it off on our date and he seemed like a good catch in person I just blocked him. Am I being too defensive or did I do the right thing by cutting him off? Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 nah you did the right thing ..it is obvious what he is after .. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 That wasn't subliminal, that was right our front what he wanted. He said he was joking when you reacted the way you did. He may seem like a good catch but trust your gut. Lost Link to comment
yatsue Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Depends. If he wasn't overtly sexual or hinting at anything until this meme, then I would send a "Nope" in response. Actually, that's not true. I would look up a meme online and send something I thought was a funny picture sending a similar message of nope. Now, if he was sexually explicit previously and sent you suggestive messages before, then I would think he was fishing for some nudes and/or progressing into the sexy times. However, since you mentioned you both hit it off (which seems in your opinion lacking an emphasis in sexual talk or moves) and seemed like a good catch in person, I think you are being too defensive. I would unblock him. To me it seems he was just trying to be funny. Very dumb, but funny not sexual. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 He didn't the courage to out right ask, so he made a pathetic 'joke' to try and get you to do it. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Yes, you did the right thing. I'd be tempted to thank him for showing that side of him this early on. On the other hand, you dodged a bullet...move on. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Nothing subliminal about that - he was pretty blunt with you. Of course he said he is joking, but that's only because you reacted negatively instead of sending him what he asked for. Anyway, good on you, don't second guess yourself about this kind of stuff. Sometimes, just because you feel chemistry on the date, doesn't make him a good man or dating/relationship material. Link to comment
Helpmesavethis Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 I guess I'll be the odd man or well woman out.... Maybe he was trying to lighten things up since you said it was all small talk type stuff and make a joke. I personally would have responded sarcastically with either a funny meme like above saying no or I would have been like you gotta earn that and you're nowhere close. And inserted a LOL as well since he did. I don't know. It might have bothered me a little but I wouldn't write him off because of it. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 yatsue has hit on the right tone There is a certain grace I've yet to learn in setting boundaries in a way that gives the other person a way out. Humor is often a way to do that. Link to comment
loveyourself91 Posted September 8, 2017 Author Share Posted September 8, 2017 I already had a bad feeling about him but this just made things worse. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted September 8, 2017 Share Posted September 8, 2017 Send nudes - means. . please send me nudes. I'm just kidding - means . . It gives me an out if you don't like my request and could even make you feel like you are the unreasonable one after all, you don't have a sense of humor. Nothing subliminal about it. He was testing you. Link to comment
emooreluv83 Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 Move on .......he is a jerk!!! Especially if he was flaky before. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted September 15, 2017 Share Posted September 15, 2017 Subliminal hell, he out and out asked. Meme or not, yeah he was fishing all right. He's definitely a candidate for the CreepyPMs forum on another popular forum that I've seen. Also, gross. Block and delete, he hit that backpedal cycle fast to try and cover up his faux pas, but more are on the way if you keep in contact. This guy is looking for "fun" which is fine, but asking someone to expose themselves with no regard for a person's privacy or how those photos could be misused by a near stranger is not something I think is okay to do. Regardless. Link to comment
Lambert Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 hi! I totally get why you feel like you're being unreasonable. I've also gone through life ignoring the signs, the blatant signs that someone isn't a quality person. Because I want to be fair and I want to give the person I care about the benefit of the doubt and all that blah blah blah. But in reality the poster that said he used just kidding as an out and potentially to make you feel like you are somehow a prude or whatever is right. I don't know how in society we got to this point where a lot of men and women just act any old way they want. When I experienced these types of people and as an online dater, it happens all the time, I take a deep breath and just start practicing some good old-fashioned positive thinking and self-love. Remember that you deserve better and better will find you. Somebody that sends you memes like that is not going to change and even if they apologize and send flowers, as if! Is not capable of respecting you the way that you deserve to be respected. Move on and be glad you blocked him. He's not very evolved as a human being and would prefer a picture over real intimacy. ew! Link to comment
milly007 Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 You did the right thing, OP. He may say he was joking, but he was definitely fishing to see how you would respond. Definitely testing the waters. Block, delete, next! Ugh, I despise when guys do that. There seems to be a ton of guys out there that do this. 🙈 Link to comment
mia500 Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 How old is he? I think he was testing you to see how far he could get without even actually flirting or talking to you (not that you would do it if he asked any smoother). That's really obnoxious, I had a first date experience like this as well, at least now you know who he is. Also, never EVER lessen your standards for other people. You were conditioned to think you are being dramatic/prudish for not agreeing with things men do. Your standards are what make you you so always stick by your gut. Link to comment
cingularity83 Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 What I don’t understand is that in this age of easy internet access we live in where one can literally and easily find websites with hot model type girls that have these kind of things why do guys insist on asking girls on dating websites for nude pictures.... And its even made easier with smart phones that can get online at any time..... these guys are just literally one website click away from finding what they want. And it’s not even porn sites any more...... I was surprise that something like tumblr has these type of things on there too. Maybe they just like the thrill of begging? Or they like to troll? Or they get off of it? The funny thing if that I have gotten some nude pics from girls before in the past without even asking...... I’d rather see a girl naked in real life where I can ummmm ya know ;-) Than waste time looking at pictures that don’t do anything for me. But I’m just one guy that’s just my own words & perspective Link to comment
13tailz Posted October 11, 2017 Share Posted October 11, 2017 Tbh I would unblock him and see what hes like because if it was an honest mistake u have lost him but obvs if he is just a you will find out by the way he is Link to comment
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