Toxic relationship

I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years and the relationship has grown toxic. We argue a lot most of the time about simple things like him not wanting us on social media pictures together and his child not coming around because her mom won't allow her to in which he allows. Last night we argued because I didn't feel like having sex in which I worked 12 hours mostly every argument ends with a break up because he wants to leave and pack up almost an every week thing. Which has taken me through so much emotional wear and tear my trust now is zero mainly because of it. Tonight he had already explained we were breaking up in which I have had enough of, so he comes in saying he is about to pack up but needs to take a bath. My question was why not take a bath wherever your going if you're leaving? He got loud and hostile saying he paid bills last month in which he only pays a few bills and starts calling me mfs in front of my kids so we argued and I told him it was very disrespectful to do that in front of them he continued on to talk ugly me standing up for myself continued on as well now he's sleep in my bed saying he's going to leave tomorrow. I'm just tired of this I feel hopeless for another relationship because he has taken me through hell, not to mention I lost a baby at 37 weeks in January. How do I get past all of this?

Be done with this already. I just don't understand why you continue with this drama. It is also very harmful to you kids to watch all of this.

I am sorry for the loss of your child. I strongly suggest that you get counseling to deal with the loss of the baby, as well as help you get rid of this guy.

I'm sorry for the loss of your child. This sounds incredibly painful.

My partner is constantly threatening to dump me/will dump me and then change his mind.

He will then act like the victim when I call him on it. It sounds like you are in the same situation but much harder as you guys live together and have children.

The relationship is dead, and it's dangerous and harmful to your children. Dump him and make him leave. Take charge and ends things yourself otherwise this may continue forever.

I'm sorry for the loss of your child. This sounds incredibly painful.

 

My partner is constantly threatening to dump me/will dump me and then change his mind.

He will then act like the victim when I call him on it. It sounds like you are in the same situation but much harder as you guys live together and have children.

 

The relationship is dead, and it's dangerous and harmful to your children. Dump him and make him leave. Take charge and ends things yourself otherwise this may continue forever.

Shouldn't you take your own advice.

Advice is easier to give then to take.

Advice is easier to give then to take.

That's a choice. Get off of the hamster wheel.

I take it you've never been in this type of situation?

I take it you've never been in this type of situation?

Constant drama, cheating and multiple break ups. No! It's not healthy and has no future. The only reason that one would continue with this type of mess, is because they are emotionally unavailable, and hooked on chaos.

You are not helpless, and you know that it isn't working, but you choose to continue. This is not love.

You don't know me. You just stalked my posts.

I was responding to the poster of this post. Do not being my business into it.

You have absolutely no idea how love works for everyone else.

You don't know me. You just stalked my posts.

 

I was responding to the poster of this post. Do not being my business into it.

 

You have absolutely no idea how love works for everyone else.

I go but what I have read. And yes, I remember your thread. This is a public forum.

The type of relationship you speak of, is not love. Love includes trust, loyalty, fidelity, honesty and respect.

You're right it is a public forum. But it's pointless attacking me when I was just helping someone else.

Maybe you should find some compassion, and stop being judgemental to everyone's situation before you continuously post on everything.

I wasn't attacking you. I simply stated that you should follow your own advice.

It is hard to have compassion for someone who chooses to stay in an unhealthy relationship. You have admitted that it is toxic.. I believe that your family and friends have stated that they hate this guy and want you to get away from him, as he is terrible for you. . So, why should I feel compassion, if you choose to put yourself in harm's way.

You have cheated, he has a history of using escorts, and then there is all of the fighting, manipulation, emotional abuse and drama. This is a horrible situation. I hope that you will soon see the light, and move on from this.

Good luck.

OP, are you able to move out and leave him? You have to get him out of your life. At the very least help yourself by helping him leave. Meaning that if he is packing his bags for real and just wants to shower or whatever, LET HIM. Leave him to it. Get out of his way and pray he actually goes. Do not turn every little thing into a contentious battle no matter how much you want to and I get where you are coming from. I really do, but you must get a grip on that for the sake of your own sanity and well being. You deserve better, you deserve peace in your own home. Your children deserve better than seeing this. Focus on just doing whatever it takes to get him out of your life for good and make sure you lock the door behind him so he doesn't come back literally and figuratively speaking.

Listen, I went through almost the same type of relationship. RUN, get out. My ex wouldnt post stuff about me on social media and he acted shady all the time while always arguing with me. I found out he was cheating on me with multiple people and I realized he only liked having control over someone (me). Please take care of yourself and your children.

So sorry for your loss, the trauma of which is going to be so much worse while you hang around in this environment.

You're not going to change him, but you can change the way in which you interact with him; if you can, stop getting sucked into the games. If he says he's going to take a bath before he packs up, for example, just respond with "Oh!" rather than getting into a no-win, exhausting drama which will just leave you feeling drained. There's a very good book by Robin Norwood called "Women who Love Too Much" which has a useful chapter on this.

Meanwhile, I agree it might be useful to have counselling to help get you over the loss of your baby, and put the energy which currently goes into your fights into planning a new life without him. Give yourself space and time to heal before considering another relationship; this will also help you make wiser choices in future. Your own welfare, and that of your children, is more important than your relationship with him or, to put it another way, take care of yourself and let the relationship take care of itself.