Lost My Lover and Lost

I have been in a same sex relationship for almost 6 years with the world most loving caring and sincer person. Although our relationship was not perfect we have grown a lot and more interconnected through process as if we were one. We did everything together shower, slept, ate, drove to work together even ensuring that at work we met everyday we met for lunch.

However, she comes from a triditonal West Indian family and I a conservative one who did not support our relationship. In the process at time we tried to make other people comfortable and would default to the friend role. And then we drew the line in the sand and lost friends and family along the way. Heartbreaking for her more than I we built our own insular world of us. We loved it.

We were on a path planning to elope, purchase a home and have a baby. All while building businesses and traveling the world.

In the brining of August I had a trip to my hometown. On the morning of the trip we were in the best sleep and overslept. I felt so comforted and love in her arms as I whispered I don't want to go. She told me I don't want you to go but you have to. She always takes me to the airport but I knew she was sleepy so I decided to take an Uber. In a rush I quickly packed my bag she walked me to the car and gave me a kiss and we said I love you.

My ride was a pool and by the time I got to the airport I missed my flight. Was this a sign from God to stay? I called babe told her and she asked should she com get me? Then she told me to spend the extra and get on the flight. I did and had three delays but I made it to my destination.

For one week I was away and missing her like crazy! We spoke everyday. And the day I was to return my baby and I talked a lot about the future and she was too excited to meet me at the airport.

We spoke online for a bit joked and then I got a hysterical call that she had a medical emergency and had a faint pulse. I felt helpless! I was thousands of miles away my heart broke.

Finally after so many challenges to get back with many delays I arrived to ICU just after 1am.

My mind could not comprehend what I was walking into. I was in uterus disbelief that the woman I planned to spend my life with was comatose. I collected myself walked into the room and could not tell her enough of how much I love her and was proud of her for being so strong.

I have a strained relationship with her family, a story for another day. But I stayed true to our commitment to be there no matter what. I did not want to leave I stayed at the hospital praying singing telling stories and trying to do anything to let her know I love her.

I had no say over medical decisions, the environment or visitation. I felt so helpless and alone. This was not someone Injust met but a person who we weather the storm and decided this was our last relationship. She use to say your other gave you life but you belong to me. I prayed for you before I met you. She also said even though we don't have the paperwork we are married.

On the fifth night her family asked me to go home. I cried like a baby because I knew when she woke up she would be upset if she did not see face. Against better judgement I obliged and planned to come back early the next day. I woke up

And the morning got away from me, everything came up.

After my work call I was to get in the shower and head to the hospital. Before I could get in I got a hysterical call that she was dead! In an instant my dreams were shattered, and I had went from planning her rehab to not know who I was.

I rushed to the hospital and when I arrived music was playing, no one addressed me so I knew she beat the odds and was back. And the some one turned to me and said no she is dead. In that moment apart of me died too. I fell to my knees and wept.

In the days to come the family planned the funeral I was never consulted. I felt disrespect but most of all hurt.

I am not sure what happened to her remains although I have heard stories.

I am really at a lost I can't begin to explain the emptiness I feel.

I will love her forever.

Did you ever find out why she died?

It goes to show that even young couples should get a healthcare proxy on each other, especially if they're in a same-sex relationship. Otherwise they could get shut out of healthcare decisions, like what happened to you.