He keeps coming back and leaving

For over 3 years this guy and I have been on and off. He says he wanted to marry me but he felt we weren't able to communicate. He says I'll be exactly what he wants and he knows that. Every time we breakup he already has a rebound and then comes back around. I never am the first one to rekindle anything. He says he loves me and he wants me in his life but there are things about me he won't stand for. He's so confusing because he wants me and then doesn't. We had a fight and i asked him if he was done he said idk maybe and sent me a message responding to my message of me saying that if he's done mean it. He went on saying he was just being nice and he missed our sex which hurt so I never messaged him back. What do I do not respond? And what do you think he's thinking?

Sounds like a wonderful relationship. What he's doing is a form of control. It doesn't sound as bad as some other women go through where they're reduced to tears constantly by being accused of cheating, or not keeping the apartment clean, etc. but it still sounds toxic. You really should dump this guy.

Good god! Be done with this already! He does not love you, and he never has!

You are not compatible, as you can see from the multiple break ups.

He uses you for sex and ego, but you let him!

Why do you allow people to treats you like this? And, why do you allow him to make all of the decisions? Move on, and block and delete.

He is playing mind games with you and is stringing you along. But you are letting him. He doesn't even talk to you with any respect and gives you really lame answers.

Close the door and don't keep allowing him to do this to you.

OP, stop letting him use you.

If he hasn't committed to you after 3 years, he's never going to. His talk about marriage is a trick to get you to stick around. You need to stop believing that he's serious. He's not.

Take several steps back from your situation for a moment. Read your post as if your best friend wrote it. What would you say to them?

For over 3 years this guy and I have been on and off. He says he wanted to marry me but he felt we weren't able to communicate. He says I'll be exactly what he wants and he knows that. Every time we breakup he already has a rebound and then comes back around. I never am the first one to rekindle anything. He says he loves me and he wants me in his life but there are things about me he won't stand for. He's so confusing because he wants me and then doesn't. We had a fight and i asked him if he was done he said idk maybe and sent me a message responding to my message of me saying that if he's done mean it. He went on saying he was just being nice and he missed our sex which hurt so I never messaged him back. What do I do not respond? And what do you think he's thinking?

I think he's thinking he needs to have sex so you're the one he goes to for it because you let him.

Don't respond and block and delete him so you can get over YOUR addiction to HIM. You have become "old faithful" he can return to when he's needing an orgasm. Surely you think you deserve more then being his eff buddy.

Yeah he is toxic but I know he cares for me but I won't stand for this kind of treatment. Thanks for the advice!

He can get sex so easily. He doesn't need me to get it he's extremely capable.

You're right but he's a very confusing person to me.

So he keeps me to the side because he's afraid of letting me move on?

You are the only one that is preventing yourself from moving on. Don't make yourself helpless.

The only this he is afraid of is losing his easy sex, and the girl that is always around, no matter how badly she is treated.

Certainly you want someone who care for, and respects you? If you do, it is not with this guy. He does not care about you, you are a convenience.

Yeah he is toxic but I know he cares for me but I won't stand for this kind of treatment. Thanks for the advice![/QUOT

 

"He went on saying he was just being nice and he missed our sex "

 

How do you interpret this as caring? Boy, are you in a state of denial.

Run as fast as you can. Being in a relationship with a person that makes you feel like he's evaluating you to see if he wants to be with you is enough to make anyone feel insecure. You want to be with a man that makes you a priority and loves everything about you. The things they he doesn't love he will a accept and help you become the best person you can be with unconditional love and understanding.

You are right. We have a past where I know he did care and love me once but he doesn't treat me like should. He's very prideful.

He doesnt want to be in a relationship with you. He wants to be FWB ONLY. Its not that complicated. Ive been this guy before and I can tell you he will say anything to have sex with you. His attraction to you is purely physical and has not emotion invested into you.