My ex is flirting with my girlfriend

Hi all!

I'm new here and could really need some advice. This is a bit of a complicated story, or maybe it's not that complicated, but I have a hard time explaining it For the understanding of what I'm about to tell it's important to note that I am a lesbian woman. So here goes my attempt:

1. Last year in February I experienced my worst heartbreak to date when my ex left me. I don't want to go into details about this relationship, since it's not the issue here, so let's just leave it at that .

2. In November I started dating my current girlfriend. Although hesitant in the beginning because i was afraid to get hurt, I opened up to her and we have a really special relationship. We're in love.

3. Here's the problem: my girlfriend was good friends with my ex a while back. Apparently my ex started to pursue her (after dating me or even while dating me, who knows) , but my gf wasn't interested, which is why they didn't see each other for more than a year. Recently my ex has been texting her again (her texts suggested a continued interest) and asking her to meet. Although my gf always tells me she's not interested in a conversation, she keeps replying and even met up with her once. It seems they're planning to meet again.

Now my question is, should I be worried? My ex has a reputation for being very intense and then dropping someone when she got all she wanted out of them. I find her a truly horrible person and my girlfriend knows this. She also knows how much I've been hurt and that I feel uncomfortable about them meeting. Another information that might be important: my ex is one of the reasons my gf's last relationship failed.

I'm afraid of coming across as too possessive if I ask her to stop talking to her and I also think it should be her decision. But I really don't understand what she expects from this. Today she told me she wants to figure out whether they can maintain a friendship (after denying for weeks that she wants to talk to her) . If that's true how can I get used to the idea? I doubt I ever will =/

Thanks for reading and any advice will be appreciated!

Out of respect for you, she should cut contact. If this girl is flirting with her, she enjoys the ego boost.

This would be a deal breaker. Both of these women are your problem.

Thank you for your reply, Hollyi!

How do I go about telling her that she should cut contact? Or is it something she has to figure out on her own and if she doesn't I should consider putting an end to this relationship?

I don't think you should tell her anything. She should know this.

I would move on. This is indicative of a problem which will repeat with this woman. It is even more disrespectful, due to the fact it is your ex.

Does your girlfriend know your ex is clearly interested?

Also - what are the nature of the texts -- is your ex playing the guise of wanting to meet her because they are in the same industry for networking?

I would simply state your feelings. Do not ask her to cut contact - say that i know that my ex is interested in you, so therefore if you meet up with her, that is her intention, so you are curious to why she wants to meet up.