shoebaby1 Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 I lived about 1 hour away from where my sister and my mom lives (separately) and I wanted to move closer because I thought it would be nice to be in the neighborhood and also where they live is much nicer and has a lot of restaurants and stuff. Well It has been a month today since I officially moved apartments and my mom cursed me out saying that I moved here and haven't come around and haven't seen my sisters baby. I saw my mom and my sister on the weekend of the 14th though and I work full time so its like okaayyy I just moved here. Why are you cursing me out and being so demanding and she's literally upset that I'm not babysitting my niece. I try so hard with my family, you guys probably see from my past posts but its like NOTHING will ever be good enough. My sister doesn't even talk to me anymore because I haven't been over to babysit. It hurts. And I'm exhausted. At this point I'm ready to disown my family. I think its time to just let it go. They really are all I have so I try to make it work and stuff but I don't think I can anymore. I think they finally broke me down. I'm 36 and I have been going through this with them for as long as I can remember. I'm not married I do have a boyfriend and when I spend time with him my mom curses at me saying YOU HAVE TIME FOR THAT MAN AND NOT YOUR FAMILY!!!! I'm like what the heck? She has a man and both of my sisters are married but because I spend time to go out and have a life outside of he family I'm evil? I don't understand and its beginning to creep me out a little. Why doesn't she want me to be happy? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 You have posted before about the family dynamics and i am surprised that you moved closer to them instead of creating more distance. Mom is out of line for saying what she says about your boyfriend -- however, if you moved to their neighborhood and your sister has a brand new baby -- why the heck would you not gone to see the baby? Or am i misunderstanding and the baby is older and you simply hadn't visited in the past week? In fact, its better when you work full time and are busy because they you legitimately only have an hour to visit. I think they have very few boundaries which is not good for you, but on the other hand, you don't have good boundaries either - you are feeding off of this negative energy in some way -- you are attracted to it like a moth to a flame in being even closer to them. If you are going to see them, then honestly, meet them at the park to see the kids, meet at a restaurant -- that way they won't act as crazy because they are in public. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 Yes you need boundaries with them and especially your mother. Have you told her she should not be cursing at you and that you dont like it? Since you work full time it's not your job to babysit in your spare time, but on occasion would be nice. Meeting on neutral territory is a good idea. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted August 29, 2017 Share Posted August 29, 2017 Hi Shoe...long time. I agree with others as to setting limits, and stand by them as well. Easier said than done, yet we all set the standards on how others treat us. Link to comment
shoebaby1 Posted August 29, 2017 Author Share Posted August 29, 2017 The child is six months and I moved closer because I thought it would be nice and also maybe we can work things out. I planned on spending more time with them but getting cursed out because I haven't come over in the first few weeks is insane...I also commute 1 hour now. I get no consideration. I like the apartment and atmosphere much better but yeah I guess I was being really stupid to move closer? Idk anymore...lately I feel like I do nothing right. Link to comment
shoebaby1 Posted August 29, 2017 Author Share Posted August 29, 2017 Yeah I told her and she said that she's my mother so she can do whatever she wants. edit: this was in regards to me telling her that I do not like her cussing. Link to comment
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