He doesnt like to be confronted or criticized and walks away

Why does my husband walk away from me instead of talking about how I feel. When I confronted him about how he's treating he got angry, ignored me and walked away. I expressed to him that I feel lile he's talks down on me and is mean to me at times and instead of listening to me and trying to understand he says he doesnt know where my comment comes from and he got up and left. He walks away from me a lot and I have got the feeling that he does not like to be criticized. Many times he has told me things he doesn't like about me and I always apologize and tell him I will change my ways. I just dont understand why he acts like what I explained doesnt make sense when I shared past instances of when I felt he was being mean.

This is called emotional abuse. I would suggest couples counselling, if he is unwilling to work on things, then I would consider leaving.

It will get worse, and is no way to live your life.

When you say you confronted him, how did you approach him?

Has he always been like this? How long have you been married?

He sounds like he's got all his defenses up, and communication between you two has broken down. I would follow Hollyj's suggestion about counseling.

When I say I confronted him we had just got in the house and both of us were on the bed and thats when I told him. He never made eye contact with me or responded. But when lever he confronts me about sonething its almost a sin if he feels like i dont care or if i dont respond fast enough.

What kind of things does he do that make you feel talked down to and like he is being mean to you?

He is negative about things that i have shared with him. For instance if i say i want to lose weight but maybe i dont workout like i should and then if i talk about it too much he will make mean comments about it instead Of encouraging me. He makes alot of mean comments about things that i do or say and it just seems unecessary to me. The other day he showed me a new app game he likes on his ipad and he put the ipad down so that i could see how its played then i said let me try but i didn't keep the ipad on the table i held it up so that i could focus better and he said in a mean way with an attitude "can i have my ipad back" and then he stated that i shouldnt have played it so that he couldnt see. Mind you i played the game for all of 30 seconds to 1 minute

It sounds like he is rude and it sounds like you are "confronting" him. Instead, how about first making sure it's a good time to talk -and in a calm way -no drama or huge back story - and use I language "I feel hurt when you____"

Also I'd suggest maybe a counselor through your place of worship if you have one, first? This sounds like poor communication skills. Was he like this when you were dating?

It actually was a good time and I always use a nice calm voice sometimes i have a little tremble in my voice because i really want to cry but i always make sure im not being disrespectful. He will always say that whatever im saying comes from nowhere and makes no sense. He has confronted me about stuff in the most difficult and sensitive times in my life right after my uncles funeral, heading to my nieces graduation ( i literally sat in the car and cried before going in). He also said dont wait too long to tell him something so in that moment he was being mean to me we were in the car and then his sister called him so right after that call we went into the house and i took the time to tell him how i felt and he immediately shut down.

You keep saying "mean things." Can you give us examples? Beyond him being a bit brash asking for his phone back?

It's also possible to hen peck without yelling or cursing. How often would you say you're criticizing him or complaining about things you're not taking it upon yourself to change?

At face value, I'd have to go with Batya's summation that you two have lost effective communication.

Hi jmam I actually dont complain at all to him about anything because he said he doesnt want to hear any complaints about anything from me. He complains to me alot though but one time we were out to dinner and he asked me how my food was and i said its good just a little too salty and he said i was complaining and got a bad attitude about it and said i was annoying. Several times we go out and get bad waiters and he complains about the service the whole time we're there.So if i dont like my boss because maybe they're are rude or whatever and he ask me how do i like them i will say theyre great because he takes every little negative or not so happy comment as a complaint. (He has complained about people at his job several times to me)

Now how is he mean? There has been several times i feel he was but i never said anything to him i might have said why are you being mean or why do you have an attitude and he will just ignore me but if he says he doesnt like my response or tone about something i have to answer why but if i was to be silent he would curse me out and leave. One day we were at the car and the door was open and his foot was underneath it and i supposedly stepped back on the sidewalk and pushed the door and it moved towards his foot from my observation the door was as open as it could be but he got real mean about it as if i purposely pushed the door to hit his foot. He gets annoyed with me about little things and hangs up the phone on me. He told me its boring going to sertain places with just the two of us and then he'll ask me if i want to go and its just the two of us there so we went to this festival last month and i had a good time with him but then he mentioned that its not fun with just us two. His friend showed up with a group of people and we ended up following them around and he barely said anything to them. So now part two is coming up and he asked me to get a ticket and i said i wasnt interested in going because its at a location i dont like but also because of his comment.

Has he always been this way or is this behavior came up more recently?

He's always been this way towards me.

So this is who he is and it's not pretty. He actually is very much emotionally, verbally abusive to you and you keep ducking the punches and putting up with it. Trying to appease him while contorting yourself to avoid the pain. So how long do you think you can keep living like this?

You can try to ask him to go to couple's counseling, but I wouldn't hold my breath that he would agree. People like that don't see anything wrong with themselves or their behavior. I would recommend that you speak to a therapist for your own sake, both to understand why you chose to be in this relationship and perhaps to learn how to respond to him better....or to walk away.

He's always been this way towards me.

This isn't normal in a relationship and is emotional abuse. If I were you I wouldn't bring kids into this relationship and based on my level of investment and the fact that I would want kids, I would give specific options for progress. If there was no progress, I would leave.

Hi Dancing fool, I definitely agree with you but how can i get him to understand that its emotional abuse because he just called me to talk about it and then threatened to end our relationship because he said its a stupid convo it really hurts me that im trying to express my feelings about something serious and he says its stupid and cuts off the convo.

Hi I agree woth you and idk what to do because he just told me theres no solution and i dont get why he thinks that way. it really frustrates me to the point of crying because i dont know what else to do. He always does this wwhen we have a disagreement. He will walk away not talk to me for hours and then bring the situation back up to only tell me its stupid after he has made his statement about it. Then he will threaten to leave me because he thinks however i feel is stupid and pointless.

Hi I agree woth you and idk what to do because he just told me theres no solution and i dont get why he thinks that way. it really frustrates me to the point of crying because i dont know what else to do. He always does this wwhen we have a disagreement. He will walk away not talk to me for hours and then bring the situation back up to only tell me its stupid after he has made his statement about it. Then he will threaten to leave me because he thinks however i feel is stupid and pointless.

Why would he change if you are willing to keep staying with him and doing whatever it takes to keep him? There are no real consequences for his horrible actions.

Honestly, you should be the one telling him to go on and get out of your life. You should be ending things for real and file for divorce.

It's not that he doesn't know how horrible he is being to you or how horribly he is treating you. He knows, but he does it because he can. Also, just because you leave him doesn't mean he'll suddenly change and become a good human being. Odds are he'll just find someone else he can con into putting up with this abuse at least for awhile.

The only time it is appropriate to walk away from an argument is when someone is being belligerent or insulting, to allow time to cool off.