Curious...guy online changed all of his pics

So I am just curious...by no means trying to read into the situation but get a better understanding of men after my last break up I decided to take some time to re center and figure out why my relationships don't go anywhere. In turn I have realized I was going for emotionally unavailable guys and long story short have been working on myself to regain the confidence I used to have and lost somewhere along the way. I started reading Venus and Mars on a Date (pretty good) and realized that I do not have a good understanding of men's brains lol I work totally on a Venus level.

That brings me to this curious questions. I met a man online. He is great ! Very stable and independent, makes me laugh, caring, etc. We hit it off right away, he asked for my number, we went on a first date for a drink and dancing. Since then (about a week ago) we have talked on phone calls and texted each other as our schedules allow.

I am deliberately not rushing this one. I really like the guy and want to be friends first and respect both of us. We were supposed to go out last night for date 2 and it just didn't work out. He has said multiple times he wants to see me again, and seemed disappointed last night didn't work out and a little shy and nervous when we talked today about maybe going out. Today I was back on the dating app to look at a notification that popped up from the app (not another guy) it was just the weekly status update and there was his pic as most talked to.

Went back on tonight (yes to look at him lol) and he changed it....took all of his pics down and only left the one of the skyline of the city we live in. Just wondering why ?

I am still working on my own confidence and trusting that he does want to see me again and that he isn't just leading me on.

You've so far had one date with a stranger. Someone you just met. There is no need to stress, and he is well within his rights to update photos.

If it's been three months and a lot of dates, then it'd be maybe an issue, but this is barely beginning! You need to relax abit. No need to look him up, it's so unnecessary.

... and keep seeing other guys and don't put all personal power in this guys hands. You don't even know him yet. Change your own pics and keep on, keeping on.

Not checking up on him in that sense. I was just looking at our past convos. I have been on another date besides him, and just having fun with it all. Really not stressing about it. Again, I was just curious to why a guy in general would go from a few pics of himself to something incredibly generic. I was reading the book and it's made me want to stop and think about my usual triggers and a positive alternative. Just curious was all. Maybe insight from another guy.

Okay, let me share an experience with you from my younger days.

I met this guy over a dating site that had/has free weekends. I wasn't paying for the site, so I only participated in the free weekends. He was the same, and that's how we started talking; we had just enough time left in the free weekend to exchange email addresses by the end. We went from an occasional email to a few emails a week to daily emails to Skype chatting for hours every evening and sometimes in the morning. More than once he implied that he wasn't seeing anyone else, and with the amount of communication and my own moral code I believed him. I thought we were going steady in everything but name.

Nonetheless, when I got an email notifying me that someone had messaged me on a free weekend several months later, I logged back into the dating site to respond (normally I wouldn't have, but the message was horrible and I wanted to chastise the fellow and report him). Anyhow, this guy who I had been talking to so very often had posted new photos and updated his profile. I remember now being so confused, but writing it off as nothing; after all, I was on the site still too, and even though we hadn't officially gotten together I "knew" we were meant to be.

I regret not seeing then what I've learned since. That dude had at least seven of us dangling like puppets, all being fed the same crap.

Be careful with this. If you want to be going steady with him, don't talk yourself out of that want/need.

^ Have you been dating that guy all that time, or were they just online and phone convos?

Also, the OP and the guy has had ONE date.

Why don't you just ask him the next time you talk? e.g. "Hey, I saw you took down that cute picture of you [fill in the blank: surfing, drinking beer, humping a raccoon]." And then he will tell you why he took them down. Whatever the reason, I'm sure it's no big deal, just like it's no big deal to ask.

To me this is a leading question.

He took all his 'personal' photos down and put a 'generic' one up.

I think this has caused the OPera hopes to go up. She thinks he took all the photos down because he wants to date her and she wants validation of that, i.e asking the leading questions.

I'm sorry OPer, I think it's a bit of a reach to make after 1 date.

To me this is a leading question.

Not sure if you are referring to my post? If so, disagree. They have exchanged texts and phone calls both before and after their fun date, enough that she's determined he is "stable, fun, caring." There is nothing wrong asking why he took down a cute photo she loves. She can ask in a flirty way. Why project meaning onto something that could be totally innocuous without asking?

Not sure if you are referring to my post? If so, disagree. They have exchanged texts and phone calls both before and after their fun date, enough that she's determined he is "stable, fun, caring." There is nothing wrong asking why he took down a cute photo she loves. She can ask in a flirty way. Why project meaning onto something that could be totally innocuous without asking?

I was referencing the OPer, didn't even read your original post before this.

No. What the OP is questioning is whether it's suspect that the guy has replaced any photos of his actual appearance with some generic photo. In my experience, I've either thought they were married/attached and trying to be DL on a dating site or have something else to hide. Similar to guys with private images or who show their photos one minute then hide them the next, which is an option on the site I use.

I even just had a guy ask for my number and replied with his & now his profile and our messages have disappeared. I even asked him if he would use the number since so many guys ask but don't use it! There are a lot creeps on these sites with disingenuous intentions other than the original purpose of finding someone to date. Next time you talk to him I'd ask casually and see what he says and if the reason sounds legit. I can't think of any that would justify doing that.

No. What the OP is questioning is whether it's suspect that the guy has replaced any photos of his actual appearance with some generic photo. In my experience, I've either thought they were married/attached and trying to be DL on a dating site or have something else to hide. Similar to guys with private images or who show their photos one minute then hide them the next, which is an option on the site I use.

 

I even just had a guy ask for my number and replied with his & now his profile and our messages have disappeared. I even asked him if he would use the number since so many guys ask but don't use it! There are a lot creeps on these sites with disingenuous intentions other than the original purpose of finding someone to date. Next time you talk to him I'd ask casually and see what he says and if the reason sounds legit. I can't think of any that would justify doing that.

Yes this is more what I was getting at. I could care less if he is also casually seeing other people, I am.

More wondering why someone would go from pics of themselves to only one generic landscape. If he wants to add more pics go for it, who am I to stop him. It's been one date, I don't even want to be serious with him...date 2 and the some should happen first.

Thank you for understanding my point. I don't think I feel comfortable bringing it up just yet, we'll see how date 2 goes, and if I go out with anyone else.

No it didn't get my hopes up, it made me suspicious but I am trying to keep a postive attitude.

You can't gain insight into men based on one man's behaviour. Only he knows why he changed his picture. My guess, and it's just a guess, it has nothing to do with you.

Most times, I suspect, when a man really wants to see a woman he will move Heaven and Earth to get that second date. Unfortunately when we suspect people aren't into us, we are usually correct.

No it didn't get my hopes up, it made me suspicious but I am trying to keep a postive attitude.

Ok, my mistake.

From my understanding when a person comes onto this site asking for advice it's more than passive. You want advice because you want to be successful, so I always, always have a hard time believing the 'I don't care one way or the other' argument. It's got nothing to do with you personally. It's just, if I'm passive about a guy, I'm not going to care what he's doing, I'm not going to go back and reread out convos, I'm not going to ask for advise, I may ask him because I don't care what his reaction is, but asking for advise? I do that with dudes I'm into... I'm trying to not mess it up, because, again, I want to succeed.

My advise since your interest is low is to cut him loose. Red flags this early aren't really worth it.

No. What the OP is questioning is whether it's suspect that the guy has replaced any photos of his actual appearance with some generic photo. In my experience, I've either thought they were married/attached and trying to be DL on a dating site or have something else to hide. Similar to guys with private images or who show their photos one minute then hide them the next, which is an option on the site I use.

 

I even just had a guy ask for my number and replied with his & now his profile and our messages have disappeared. I even asked him if he would use the number since so many guys ask but don't use it! There are a lot creeps on these sites with disingenuous intentions other than the original purpose of finding someone to date. Next time you talk to him I'd ask casually and see what he says and if the reason sounds legit. I can't think of any that would justify doing that.

All this is very likely . .but, I often take my profile down or remove my pictures when I am talking/dating someone new. Not that I am getting ahead of myself or overinvested too early. But if I am otherwise distracted by someone then a lot of other possibilities will get passed by if I don't have the time to respond. It's almost as if I am keeping my profile new or newer most of the time. I am sure I have confused more than one man I have gone on a date with when he goes back and sees I have hidden my profile.

I used to care what they thought about my maneuvers but now I don't. I need to do what works for me.

I used to track their activity as well and try to read between the lines as to what it might mine. I don't anymore.

I am pretty intuitive about some things but find I am often wrong about this, so I choose to not fret about it.

The creeps typically give themselves away fairly quickly anyway.