Ended three months of NC last night

What a terrible realization to wake up to first thing. Three months of NC undone with a text I don't even know if she will see. She could easily have my number blocked so I don't even know what the damage is.

Yesterday I got home and decided to do nothing, since she cheated on me and went away with her new boyfriend, I've been filling my time doing sports and activities or hanging out with friends. Well, yesterday I got home and decided to do nothing. I lay in bed and began listening to the start of the Red Sox game top of the first and woke up bottom of the ninth after a pretty serious nap. Of course at this point I was wide awake and there was nobody for me to turn to.

The day had been rough, I had started chatting to someone over the weekend that I met a few weeks prior a couple states up from me, I had really liked her when I met her and this had only been reaffirmed by our back and forth. She told me she had hoped she would meet me again and told me she thought I was really cute. Great. Yesterday morning though she woke up to a joke I had made the night before and replied: "Hahaha, have a great week.", I replied with an open ended question and then sent her a cool picture of the eclipse and got no reply, so the day was already making me anxious.

I was also talking to a girl that I have been into for a LONG time, I messed the whole thing up by choosing the ex in question and letting her pretty much destroy my relationship with this girl through jealousy. This girl shouldn't even talk to me, I had her blocked and completely phased out of my life because of the jealousy of my ex. I have tried to ask her on dates the last few weeks but no luck. I blew that one. I made a bad choice a year and a half ago.

So I was feeling lonely, and I text her, stupid stuff. I miss you yada yada. I don't want her back, I never will, but I do miss her. She is definitely still in my head and I definitely need to get her out of there. Every time I feel rejection I get the urge to text or snoop. Up until last night I had been strong. I guess i'm not that strong person I thought I could be.

I really don't know where to go from here. I thought I was healing but this proves i'm not. Therapy didn't help and I guess neither has getting out there. I have such a great job in this city but am starting to really feel cutting everything away from my life and moving somewhere new is the only option if I want to truly move on and be free.

First, it is okay to fall off the wagon and often doing so helps you forward instead of holding you back. So, don't feel bad about it, get back on the horse and keep on riding.

As for Freedom, try making the decision not to date. Go Your Own Way for a while and find strength in yourself. Society tells us that we need to be in relationships to be successful in life, then we get a half the population falling into depression because they fail at what society tells us is all we need to do. This is all part of focusing on yourself and forgetting this apparent need to have someone.

As for sending a message to your ex. Ah well, who really cares. Forget it and move on.

Don't be so hard on yourself about breaking NC. It's really ok. But now you have angst because she hasn't responded, so maybe you'll find relief if you go ahead and block her now. You'll never know if she responds or not. Don't fret over her responding while she's blocked because she doesn't really matter, she's just a spot in the sand.

Why haven't you blocked and deleted?

I wouldn't block but I'd use her lack of response to discourage further attempts

Why haven't you blocked and deleted?

I'm confused. My entire post is centered around the fact I had blocked and deleted but made a conscious decision to undo this which I now regret? What don't you understand?

First, it is okay to fall off the wagon and often doing so helps you forward instead of holding you back. So, don't feel bad about it, get back on the horse and keep on riding.

 

As for Freedom, try making the decision not to date. Go Your Own Way for a while and find strength in yourself. Society tells us that we need to be in relationships to be successful in life, then we get a half the population falling into depression because they fail at what society tells us is all we need to do. This is all part of focusing on yourself and forgetting this apparent need to have someone.

 

As for sending a message to your ex. Ah well, who really cares. Forget it and move on.

Don't be so hard on yourself about breaking NC. It's really ok. But now you have angst because she hasn't responded, so maybe you'll find relief if you go ahead and block her now. You'll never know if she responds or not. Don't fret over her responding while she's blocked because she doesn't really matter, she's just a spot in the sand.

I wouldn't block but I'd use her lack of response to discourage further attempts

Thanks. I'll do well again if I keep doing what I was doing before. It's just frustrating to me that I'm not over her yet, clearly.

I'm confused. My entire post is centered around the fact I had blocked and deleted but made a conscious decision to undo this which I now regret? What don't you understand?

I guess I did not understand why you unblocked.

Isn'r she the same one that cheated on you, and got involved with the other guy? Why would you want that back?

I guess I did not understand why you unblocked.

 

Isn'r she the same one that cheated on you, and got involved with the other guy? Why would you want that back?

He didn't even say she was blocked and deleted. He only mentioned NC, so your question was fair to begin with.

He didn't even say she was blocked and deleted. He only mentioned NC, so your question was fair to begin with.

I guess we are supposed to be mind readers.

The relationship was a dysfunctional mess. i will never understand the attraction to such levels of drama and deception.

Drama is preferable to boredom. At least to some.

I'll share with you my ex's mindset on cheating. Almost every single one of his girlfriends has cheated on him (to be fair, he cheats too). And he always takes them back. His mindset is "She cheated on me but then came back. So since she came back, that proves I'm better than that other guy!"

Often it's kind of a competition. If you can get an ex who cheated on you or left you for someone else back, that "proves" she or he loves you more than the other person.

It's not the healthiest mindset, but lots of people feel that way.

So, OP, next time you're bored maybe find something else to keep your mind occupied instead of relying on a girl to text to keep you busy.

He didn't even say she was blocked and deleted. He only mentioned NC, so your question was fair to begin with.

Doesn't that all fall under the same system?

Doesn't that all fall under the same system?

Not really tbh, I haven't blocked anything. Deleted most things, yes, but not blocked anything. I do not see the need to unless the other person is constantly trying to contact you or if you are unable to keep yourself from contacting them.