Hubby wants to change trades

My husband wants to go back to being an officer in the military. He is presently in the military and has been since 1986. He resigned his commission in 2007 and went from Army to Air Force and became an NCM doing a specialist trade. ( avionics systems technician ) He has done so well at his trade that he was sent to a squadron to teach his trade and now presently he is writing exams for his trade. The officers in his unit recognize his potential and have been encouraging him to go AXO ( combat systems officer ) which is a specialist officer trade.

He was previously an officer for 15 years and hated it with a passion . Mind you he was much younger he was 22/23 years old when he became an Army officer . Now he wants to try again as an Air Force officer . It would mean a much better pension for him at retirement, 72% of his monthly pay vrs 54% as an NCM.

Pros: better pay

better pension

Flight crew pay incentives

Cons: He has to go away for a year's training. He will be away 25 days a month min and we may have to move.

He started the process today with the aircrew medical . Then he has to go to selection board . The process of selection may take up to a year.

I don't want to hold him back and I admire the fact that he is very conscious of our retirement which is very close, 11 years from now and he wants a better lifestyle for us at the end. I just don't relish having to set up my son's supports again if we move to another province. If he stays in his current trade most likely he will finish out his career right where we are.

I understand his reasoning for the change though he deals better with things than people. In his current rank he deals more with people and interactions with people that he does with the aircraft and he prefers the aircraft. As an AXO he will be back on the aircraft again.

Again I never want to hold him back but I'm not sure how I feel about this .

Is he a reservist or active duty?

Is he a reservist or active duty?

He is Reg Force ( we are Canadian) Yes, he is full time.

I mean you're talking close to a 50% boost to his pension (with a much bigger payoff should he go up a paygrade within the next 11 years as a CO rather than NCO), plus it'd be a good salary boost in the meantime to further invest in the future with and help with costs for your son's care and future.

If I remember correctly, your son leans a bit heavier on the Autism spectrum and isn't fully independent. I can sympathize with you not wanting to establish a new routine and support system from scratch someplace new. I may be off, but the way I read your post, it sounds like you actually have more or less conceded to the net benefit being worth it and hence going through with it should your husband make it through selection, but you're internally groaning over the sure headache it's going to be to transition, which I think is absolutely fine.

I will say that, in your shoes, I would be concerned about the potential for him to be miserable again once he's issued a commission again. Maybe a no-BS arrangement along the lines of, "I completely support you in this, but I can't go back to you being miserable for another 10 years" and come up with some kind of arrangement should the job end up compromising the happiness of the household.

I mean you're talking close to a 50% boost to his pension (with a much bigger payoff should he go up a paygrade within the next 11 years as a CO rather than NCO), plus it'd be a good salary boost in the meantime to further invest in the future with and help with costs for your son's care and future.

 

If I remember correctly, your son leans a bit heavier on the Autism spectrum and isn't fully independent. I can sympathize with you not wanting to establish a new routine and support system from scratch someplace new. I may be off, but the way I read your post, it sounds like you actually have more or less conceded to the net benefit being worth it and hence going through with it should your husband make it through selection, but you're internally groaning over the sure headache it's going to be to transition, which I think is absolutely fine.

 

I will say that, in your shoes, I would be concerned about the potential for him to be miserable again once he's issued a commission again. Maybe a no-BS arrangement along the lines of, "I completely support you in this, but I can't go back to you being miserable for another 10 years" and come up with some kind of arrangement should the job end up compromising the happiness of the household.

Yes, it is the disruption to my son and potential for misery. He seems so so excited about the possibilities though and I can't squash that.

How long until he retires? More than 30 years?

How long until he retires? More than 30 years?

11 years when he is 60 .

Wow, thstva ling career. You can retire at 20 in the American military.

I'd discuss your concerns with him and then leave the decision up to him and try to be supportive. Hopefully he is supportive of your goals and decisions as well.

Wow, thstva ling career. You can retire at 20 in the American military.

I'd discuss your concerns with him and then leave the decision up to him and try to be supportive. Hopefully he is supportive of your goals and decisions as well.

We can retire at 20 as well he is a super lifer. He joined at 17. ( the reserves and was in for 21 years ) then he went Reg Force 11 years ago.

I see. Well relationships are about compromise and I think you ending this idea would cause a lasting resentment that would be worse than the new position

I'm assuming Canada runs a similar scheme to ours, which is 2.5% per year of service.

How hard would it be to set up what you need for your son? Can you get help from some agency to make the changes somewhat easier?

I'm all for taking a chance on a new and better life but I do see your big concerns. The higher pension if he changes positions would be great but at what cost to you and your son?

The fears and annoyances about the career can change as one gains maturity, perspective, and skills. I think it is a great idea to keep advancing one's career.

That it puts a monkey wrench in your personal life is something that all military families deal with somehow.

I think this is more about your own wishes--valid--than your husband's.

Is there a way your son can live in another situation for one year with a relative or in a house with a few other guys where there is someone who lives there to offer assitance -- with a couple other young men with special needs so he can stay in college - just for a year --- and then you move away with your husband and come back to your home in one year's time? with you maybe coming back a couple times to check on the house? It would be a way to better your future and also have a chance to see what your son is capable of.

It sounds like a great deal if he will be retiring soon -- it will be a better decision in the long run for you.

I'm assuming Canada runs a similar scheme to ours, which is 2.5% per year of service.

Yes, here it is 2% per year.

How hard would it be to set up what you need for your son? Can you get help from some agency to make the changes somewhat easier?

 

I'm all for taking a chance on a new and better life but I do see your big concerns. The higher pension if he changes positions would be great but at what cost to you and your son?

If we move to a new province it would be getting him income support from the province and moving him to a new college . And he has told me if we leave the province he's not coming with us . ( but he has to. )

Is there a way your son can live in another situation for one year with a relative or in a house with a few other guys where there is someone who lives there to offer assitance -- with a couple other young men with special needs so he can stay in college - just for a year --- and then you move away with your husband and come back to your home in one year's time? with you maybe coming back a couple times to check on the house? It would be a way to better your future and also have a chance to see what your son is capable of.

 

It sounds like a great deal if he will be retiring soon -- it will be a better decision in the long run for you.

We live in military housing so when we leave he has to be out. No ,we don't have any relatives he can he can live with . We have no relatives within three hours of where we live . Plus my husband's parents are far too old they are 85 and one has dementia . My mom just had a total knee replacement and doesn't want to take on my son and both sets of grandparents live in an apartment . So unfortunately there's no one . And he would be going on his training on his own for a year we don't follow . But after that we could be posted anywhere . So if my husband gets selected he would be going on his own and my son and I would be staying behind for year. Also my son just signed up for another three-year program at college .

I see. Well relationships are about compromise and I think you ending this idea would cause a lasting resentment that would be worse than the new position

Absolutely it is about compromise. He has started his application and had his medical today so I am not ending anything. I just know it will cause a lot of hardship for the family unit.

Thursday hubby has another part of his medical. We are hoping he gets accepted. His apptitude testing is far above the required . The only thing that might hold him back is his age and medication history. But he can get a waiver for the medication history.