He's being distant in vegas

I would just like a little reassurance or advice please. Me and my boyfriend haven't been together long. Will be coming up a year soon and this will be his 4th lads holiday. Which is fine, but I haven't been away once yet as I'm trying to arrange one for us both. The week in vegas he booked whilst we was together. He has literally skinted himself out for this and even asked to borrow money off me for it and got upset when I said I couldn't really afford to. It's not my place to say what he does with his finances but I think he's been silly with money and taking loans out for this trip. But he's been quite happy to spend my money and buy himself nice clothes for his holiday letting me pay for our meals and tanning etc because he "hasn't got it" Since he's been gone I've heard little bits from him here and there, and I get the time zones ( I'm in the UK) but he hasn't phoned me once just to hear my voice. He's been on social media a lot and been liking all the photos of him and his friends has hardly asked to see how I've been doing. Very blunt with his replies Almost like he feels he has to message me. He was online but wasn't replying to me so I asked who he was talking to and he said "the other guys as they are in seperate rooms". He then replied "come on" I said sorry I just was just asking and he's read and ignored me. No reassurance, nothing Like, you're on holiday with them and I just want 5 minutes of your time. I'm now sat here questioning maybe he isn't as serious as I am? I've been burned before and he's aware of what's happened to me in the past and I'm trying so hard not to let my mind affecr my new relationship. considering what's happene to me in the past I'm usually quite chilled and try not to let any insecurities show as I know how off putting it can be especially in a fresh relationship. Yet out of both of us he's VERY jealous and very insecure. Always questioning me and getting angry if someone messages me on facebook and I would NEVER cheat as I know how it feels nor have I ever made him feel insecure or gave him a reason to act this way. I know for a fact if the shoe was on the other foot he would be foaming at the mouth right now! Is it me ?? Is this maybe a mind game for him?

what are you doing giving him money for this trip? You should not be giving him a cent for it!

Also, he is on the other side of the world and you knew he would be gone for a week. Give him a chance to miss you. Don't stoop to his level and be on top of him while he is gone.

If you are not happy with this relationship - then leave- -- but don't stalk someone online while they are away.

what are you doing giving him money for this trip? You should not be giving him a cent for it!

 

Also, he is on the other side of the world and you knew he would be gone for a week. Give him a chance to miss you. Don't stoop to his level and be on top of him while he is gone.

 

If you are not happy with this relationship - then leave- -- but don't stalk someone online while they are away.

I never gave him no money, I was going to offer and help at one point but couldn't afford it ( glad I didn't ) I can't help but feel he's trying to make me insecure the way he is, I'll admit it's working and not stalking is so hard lol.

Just can't help but feel a little worried. Either that or I need to stop over thinking ! X

Eh, I don't like a few things here:

1) He has a double standard for you and for himself. He gets angry and jealous when someone messages you on FB? That's a red flag. He is either seriously insecure and controlling, or projecting (or some combination of all 3) In my experience, those hurling baseless accusations are often the ones up to no good themselves. They freak out on their partners becasue they assume others engage in the same bad behaviour they do.

2) He asked to borrow money from you for this trip and had the cojones to get upset when you said no. He sounds immature and irresponsible.

Normally I would say to chill and let him do his thing in Vegas. But the above two concerns lead me to think he's not a great boyfriend. Sorry OP, he might not be doing anything unorthodox on his holiday, but I also don't think he's much of a catch either.

I Agree with MissCanuck

~He's been away without you four times in one year.

~He's broke and asking you for money and then resents you when you won't/can't give it to him.

~He's projecting his behaviour onto you and that's why he's jealous and insecure about what you're doing and who you're talking to and why he doesn't trust you. People who don't trust you when you give them no reason to not trust you are more times then not, untrustworthy themselves.

~Your gut is telling you something ~ listen to it.

I agree with both comments.

I do feel His behaviour is down to him being very insecure and jealous or because he's up to no good. I've never felt the need to question him or go down his phone but since this trip I have a gut feeling to look, or because his own jealous ways are rubbing off on me! Leading up to this trip he's been very selfish. And Now ignoring me and not reassuring me has now got me questioning everything. Also the fact that he hates it if I post a certain photo he says it's for attention. It's not I'm a makeup artist and body painter and most of my work is through advertising on social media be my fave or a clients. I don't go out hardly, I stay in, I work and I save my money. We are the same age but he's always lived at home and I thinks he sees me as a gold ticket out as I have my own place.

Typically I'd say give him his space and he gets to have a holiday on his own but this seems different in a bad way / 4 times seems like a lot plus asking you for money is thoughtless and rude. My sense is he wants to act as if he's single even if he is not actually cheating. He's crossed boundaries and pushed the limits. And again my bias is towards favoring space and separate vacations at times so it's unusual for me to smell a rat so to speak. But I do.

Usually I'm the same. I've had seperate Hollidays in the past with my ex but was usually a weekend and one a year. Because I didn't want to spend too much time apart but also financially. He's had 4, and literally hasn't been able to do any nice things with me because he hasn't had the money so I've found myself paying. I didn't see it as a major deal as I don't want to come across as a brat as I don't expect the man to pay every time. And we had the disagreement with money when he asked me to lend him some for vegas and I refuse. Why spend beyond your means ? I really thought this holiday would of been the absence that makes the heart go fonder but I just feel replaceable and that he's almost acting like a single man. To me, this should be the honeymoon period and he should be wanting to have a holiday with me. Instead it looks like I'll just be going with family as he apparently now can't afford this after vegas

I'm usually one for space too. But I just can't help but feel he's taking advantage and seems to want to live a double life

Personally, I wouldn't be able to tolerate a guy like this.

He doesn't sound very caring, mature or respectful - and I say that even independent of this holiday in Vegas. You're seeing the real him, and now just need to decide if this is what you want in a boyfriend.

The lack of thought towards you, entitled attitude and jealousy causes me to think it's best to walk away from this relationship-hes not treating you like he cares much and he shouldn't use you as a means to go places.

That's how I feel like he's treating me with contempt