Frustrated with my fiancé

My fiancé is 32 and I'm 23. He doesn't ever want to go out and do anything with me. I'm more of a homebody myself but I get anxious to go out and get dinner or have a drink every other weekend. We both work full time and I go to school full time too so I really am not asking for a date every other night. We rarely have sex and that's only after I insist on having it, otherwise we never would. He's admitted that he prefers masturbating to being with me. I'm not a bad looking girl and I've never had a partner not want to be with me. I asked if it's something I'm doing or not doing, and if there's ways I can improve. It's a major hit to my ego, but I'm young and just want to feel sexy and wanted. I hate it. He had a vasectomy 7 years ago and all I ever wanted was to be married and have babies. Now he's unable to give me that and I think I have a lot of hidden anger about it. Whenever I bring it up, he gets mad and doesn't want to talk about the future. He just frustrates me to no end. He just doesn't want to touch me, or learn my body or anything. I'm not pushy and don't expect everything but a little enthusiasm about getting me off would be appreciated. I hate that he doesn't even want to try. I get that it's a sensitive subject, but I'm patient and more than willing to teach him how to get me off. At this point, I won't even care if I get off, I just want to be touched. Currently I'm sleeping on the couch because I tried to instigate sex and he has to get up in the morning for work and kicked me out. I don't know if I made a mistake with him, I don't know how I can break up with him. No part of me wants to but honestly I wonder if I'll regret it in the future. Maybe a guy my age would be better suited for me. With the same sex drive and the same energy level. He's been married and divorced and has a 8 year old son. I feel like he's already been there-done that and I'm never going to have the same life experiences that I'm dying to have. did I do getting so involved with a guy like this? How can I recoup from this? This is mainly just a vent post because I honestly feel like I'm about to explode. did I get myself into?

OP, with all due respect, after reading your post several times, I am struggling to understand WHY on earth you are even with this guy, never mind engaged to him?? Seriously, WHAT are you thinking?? You two are totally incompatible and I can't imagine a worse match. You're already unhappy and miserable, why would you want more of this for the next 50 years? Here's a surprise for you: He will NOT change. He WILL get worse.

For the love of anything holy, whatever you do, do NOT marry this guy! Cut your losses and be done with him already.

To be honest, I have no idea what I was thinking or how I let it get this far. He was only supposed to be a fling and it turned serious and I'm definitely over my head with this.

To be honest, I have no idea what I was thinking or how I let it get this far. He was only supposed to be a fling and it turned serious and I'm definitely over my head with this.

Why don't you end it?? Clearly it's not what you want and isn't working, so why do you stay?? I don't understand at all.

Not even that much of a fling. You still have your youth. Get out. Have fun! Look for someone at school your own age. You shouldn't be stuck at home, and it's amazing what people will go through thinking things are going to get better. They hardly ever does. Pack your bags and get out!

The good news here is that you are young and all of your goals with marriage and having a child are attainable...the bad news is that it will not happen with him if you stay with him and it sounds like you know this. I met my husband when I was 24 and he was 34. He was very active and we started with a good sex life for a couple of years. Well, fast forward 12 years he is now 46. Let me tell you, the age difference has become an issue the last couple years. My sex drive is still up and running, he would rather masterbate.....so sex is a big issue.....also, he falls asleep all the time...I can't get through a movie with him these days....plus he complains like an old man all the time. So please rethink the age difference. In your case it's already bad...imagine ten years from now? Your sexual frustration alone will depress you. And just an fyi...when you turn 30 your sex drive will be so high like a young guys! No one warned me of this.. Lol all my friends are fired. Haha! But seriously, marriage is difficult, mine has been for sure...so make sure you choose a man that best suits you, there's nothing worse than regretting life choices. Ps- I would be in tears if I got kicked out the bedroom for making a pass at my husband, all the more reason to get outta there.

Good grief...please just end things with this man and get out of this situation. You are too young to live this kind of a nightmare. Just like other posters, I can't wrap my mind around why you are sticking around with him like he is the only man left on this planet or something. Yes, dump him. Yes, date guys your own age. Guys who have your level of energy and interests, guys who want what you want out of life, including having a family. You are so young, your whole life is ahead of you. Why would you be settling for this guy???? As others said, it doesn't get better. Whatever you don't like about a man before marriage, multiply it by a 1000 and then ask yourself if you can live with that, because marriage will make all bad qualities that much worse. This man doesn't want to touch you.....I mean......you don't even have a relationship in the sense of romantic connection.

What you want, what you desire - it's all normal stuff. You could just about walk down the street, throw a dart and it will land on random guy who would totally provide you what you need. Why stay tied up to this bottom of barrel anomaly?

Walk away girl, walk away... Make this the only and last time you sleep on a couch because a guy doesn't want to touch you.... seriously.

32 is young, and is still man's prime. People here are making it an age issue, but to me it's just him. Guy's behavior is odd, no matter what age he is

Goten, I completely agree with you. 32 is young, and his issues probably have nothing to do with his age.

Roseaimee - leave this engagement. There are WAY too many problems in your relationship to even think about going into a marriage, you shouldn't even be in a relationship with him, unless you both want to go to couples therapy and put in a lot of work to resolve everything.

He had a vasectomy 7 years ago and all I ever wanted was to be married and have babies. Now he's unable to give me that and I think I have a lot of hidden anger about it.

You knew this when you met him. Its not something that dropped out of the sky and just now happened. Do not marry this man - you will be miserable. you are very young and have plenty of time to meet someone who wants babies too. Don't waste another second with him.

How do you recoup? You break up. move back in with your parents temporarily if you have to. ANd take time to be you. Finish your education if you haven't. Learn new things in life. Figure out who you are. And then when you are ready, go on coffee dates with a number of men until one day when you date someone and they also want marriage and kids, they have similar values as you and are a good, decent person who respects you. it WILL happen, but you have to stop going after unavailable men - men who have been there/done that/had a vasectomy/don't want to do anything

Why are you with someone who isn't clearly giving you what you what. He is just being him and you are trying to change him. Save the effort find someone who is your age and will give you want you want