Are Political Differences a Non Starter?

PLEASE be careful to talk about the question itself and not the politics--

I've never thought this a question until now...

Can two people have a fully committed lifetime-type relationship if they are polar opposites politically?

I always have asserted yes, of course they can. Now, with social upheaval taking root and mingling with politics, I am wondering if it is all wrapped together with vision, values such that political opposites are incompatible.

Could be.

Not if social values are polar opposite.

Can two people have a fully committed lifetime-type relationship if they are polar opposites politically?

Nope. Not for me. Not for what politics are becoming in my country.

I say no. Political values are tied to so much that is personally important. If two people are truly on opposite ends of the spectrum, what they value will be too different to have a stable relationship

I have met plenty of happy couples with different views politically. I think it works because they are not on the extreme side of the parties.

Personally, I am an Independent. I would need someone that is more moderate. If I met a great guy, but he was a big Trump supporter, I would be done. I would have zero respect for his thinking.

I couldn't do it. Most couples need to have similar beliefs and values.

It would depend for me on if *his* views where talked about , rammed down my throat , my views disrespected ...

I have met plenty of happy couples with different views politically. I think it works because they are not on the extreme side of the parties.

My hubby and I are one of those couples - different views, not only in politics, but many many things, lol. We're an odd couple and in many things polar opposites and different interests, but we work very well together. And yes, we are a fully committed life-time relationship, so yes, I do believe that political differences in a relationship can work.

It does depend on each persons temperament and how strongly they stand by their views and may or may not get upset over other people's different take on things.

If you have two people who have different views but are laid back about it and don't go head to head, then no worries. But if you have two people who are quite passionate

about their views and argue their points and wouldn't back down, then no way.

It depends. My ex had some beliefs different from mine,but we never fought about politics nor we cared much about it.

Generaly, far left wing would fit perfectly with far right wing,because at some point there is very little difference between those two.

Different political views by it self I think it's possible. In my country for example, there's not so much polar difference between the parties. If a person supports the party from the right wing and I support the party from the left wing, there are still things in common like democratic values and stuff, but just different opinions about how to manage wealth, private and public companies and services, reforms, etc. If the social core values are the same I see no problem. But again I'm talking about it in my country where the political environment is mild and parties are not so different or at odds with each other even if the base ideology can change. If both of us were civil about it and the rest of the values were similar, then for me it's ok.

Now if it was something totally opposite like the other person being "extreme right" and engaging in hateful and racist thoughts and/or behaviours, then it would be totally non compatible and certainly not a partner for short or longer time.

My parents were total opposites politically. She voted republican and he democrat. But the political climate was a lot different then too.

I agree with those who wrote that it depends how it is expressed, how it affects social values and other values, how extreme -to me the general question is too broad and of course it's a question that comes up a lot these days I'm sure.

Maybe off topic but hopefully not. I have a friend who posts in a ranting/venting/vitriolic and sometimes shaming/bullying way about her political views on Facebook. At times she's been banned from Facebook entirely and from certain groups on which she posts (so she's informed me). She just got a technical degree and will be looking for work soon. I suggested to her that she might want to clean up her act on Facebook because employers these days do background checks (it would not be a political field and she is middle aged and never held a full time job post-social media where there would be such a check). Her response was that if she didn't get a job because of her political views that would be ok and I responded that it most likely wouldn't have a thing to do with her particular views but just how she expressed them. That to me is the difference.

I categorize myself as pretty much apolitical. I do keep informed and I do have my own opinions and morals, but I don't consider government to be a "clean" platform for them. Hence I tend not transpose my morality into any particular political candidate, party, or ideology. I also tend to take a more nuanced view when it comes to beliefs vs. practice which, particularly nowadays, often puts me at odds more with those with whom I would more closely ideologically align with.

However, I'm not big on the us vs. them mentality and I am vehemently opposed to political sensationalism. So what several people used to compliment me on has turned me into either an alt-right fascist or a communist, depending on who you ask. Really, my opinion is pretty inconsequential and the toxicity isn't worth dealing with, so I tend to keep quieter unless there's alcohol and friends I'm comfortable talking to about it involved. I think I'm pretty fortunate to not be dating now, particularly in NYC, as I'm sure it's pretty common place for politics to fit its way into the conversation. I think a lot of people would cross me off their list of candidates.

So, yeah. My views tend to fundamentally differ from everyone (*puts on his fedora*), so maybe I've been forced to be more accepting. There are obvious and more safely defined black-and-white deal breakers, but I can't say I've ever looked for a strong political alignment in considering a partner.

Like jman, I have not ever used political alignment as a decider in dating. I look at the total person and if I think we are a good match based on that. I've been interested in and involved in politics for most of my life, and I do prefer someone who is curious and well informed about it ( not only locally, but having a general interest in how politics impact everyone's lives).

I'm fine with differences but heavily value thoughtfulness and respect .

Like others have said, it's values which may make some people on different ends of the spectrum incompatible. Also anyone who is more on the extreme ends, there is going to be a tougher time than those who are moderate ( however it is expressed).

I think the current times, one of increased conflict, doesn't change anything fundamentally when it comes to people and politics - there is just visible and immediate concequences on each other right now for the values who choose to hold. During more settled times, my views were the same as now when it comes to relationships and politics. The folks to avoid are there to see if you listen.

Generaly, far left wing would fit perfectly with far right wing,because at some point there is very little difference between those two.

I have lost "friendships" because a political candidate I voted for won. There are multiple news articles published with interviews of people divorcing over the recent election.

So no, not exactly correct.

Polar opposites? Like fringe extremists on both sides? No I don't think so.

I do think it is possible for an average republican and a democrat to be just fine, as long as they don't try to force their politics down each other's throats. There *are* other things in life besides politics to find commonality in.

My wife and I align pretty well politically, but I have have friends on both sides of the aisle. One of the ways this works is I *never* talk politics. Ever. Even if it aligns with mine. And if somebody starts I generally try to change the subject as quickly as possible.

My parents were total opposites politically. She voted republican and he democrat. But the political climate was a lot different then too.

One of my parents refused to vote. ! The logic was completely dysfunctional. The other one never said how the vote was cast, and made sure to vote every time. I haven't any idea if they even talked about politics, because I can't imagine there would be much to say that was pleasant, nor much to offer given the one parent's non-disclosure habit.

Complete avoidance is the space I am leaving behind! Totally lacking in role models. I have dated all sorts in terms of the political spectrum. Been to events celebrating candidates and victories of those for whom I did/would not vote. I celebrate the entire process, the discourse, the push-pull that like taffy slowly becomes something sweet.

Lately, we are all a little short on the sugar.

Can two people have a fully committed lifetime-type relationship if they are polar opposites politically?

Absolutely, if you respect each other's beliefs. But tolerance has always been difficult for human beings. It's a shame to see so much intolerance in my country. I grew up thinking this place was founded on respect for different people, and different beliefs.

Absolutely, if you respect each other's beliefs. But tolerance has always been difficult for human beings. It's a shame to see so much intolerance in my country. I grew up thinking this place was founded on respect for different people, and different beliefs.

Exactly. Kinda thought that was our claim to fame.

I want to say again I'm really sorry you had that experience last night. I haven't, yet, in person but avoid discussing politics like the plague (which is sad in a way not to be able to discuss it). It's hard enough to see all the Facebook shenanigans so that I cannot imagine what it's like to have that kind of confrontation you described on your other thread. Good riddance if your friend can't handle a disagreement -and her loss.

I want to say again I'm really sorry you had that experience last night. I haven't, yet, in person but avoid discussing politics like the plague (which is sad in a way not to be able to discuss it). It's hard enough to see all the Facebook shenanigans so that I cannot imagine what it's like to have that kind of confrontation you described on your other thread. Good riddance if your friend can't handle a disagreement -and her loss.

I have been thinking about that exact idea... I find I am wanting to remain engaged. What if we all just went to our corners? I thought my next approach would be to talk about how much I value the ability to disagree, how we have the ability to speak out. It will probably be controversial. The media complex, the us/them rhetoric. I'm not ready to throw in the towel. Vague idea of discourse.

I want to say again I'm really sorry you had that experience last night. I haven't, yet, in person but avoid discussing politics like the plague (which is sad in a way not to be able to discuss it). It's hard enough to see all the Facebook shenanigans so that I cannot imagine what it's like to have that kind of confrontation you described on your other thread. Good riddance if your friend can't handle a disagreement -and her loss.

I have been thinking about that exact idea... I find I am wanting to remain engaged. What if we all just went to our corners? I thought my next approach would be to talk about how much I value the ability to disagree, how we have the ability to speak out. It will probably be controversial. The media complex, the us/them rhetoric. I'm not ready to throw in the towel. Vague idea of cultural exchange of sorts. Or.not.

Political differences (your thread title ) doesn't always mean polar opposites. Can you respect each other despite differences in opinion?

Political differences (your thread title ) doesn't always mean polar opposites. Can you respect each other despite differences in opinion?

I don't know. I can't speak for anyone besides me; I can say that I can, but it doesn't mean I successfully convey that. In the past when we have disagreed I practiced the skill of asking questions, processing conflict, learning to feel safe in disagreement. This time, I did a better job of stating my points. It may have been unexpected.