Parents-confused

Right this is a very long story I will try to keep short. From a teen my parents made it quite clear I was a complete disappontment. Although on the good side, I worked got good grades and into a good uni. It wasn't the uni they wanted or me doing the course they wanted (they wanted English at Oxford and I went Russell group to do Phyfe. Hands I up I dropped out for a year and got pregnant but immediately went back, paid for uni and childcare and got into a great law school with a great job. They insisted on putting my daughter on boarding school at 11 to help with my careered but then effectively took over. Was wxcluded from school events, decisions, pretty much everything and after I had fought for years just gave in ad let them take over. My mistake. They lost my brother 2 days before my daughter was born and clearly have used her as a replacement child. I met my husband when my daughter was 8, we all lived together and I had 2 more boys. We then moved to somewhere we could afford but a strong argument wa made for keeping her where she was. Over the last 4 years she drifted further and further and my parents buy more and mor for her to keep me out of the picture. She's not a shallow child but having stuff and holidays chucked at you constantly is hard to resist'.

I love my family by have huge amount of resentment towards my parents who always seem to be setting me up as a comparison to my daughter. She due to try for Cambridge this year and I've stopped being a lawyer so I can spend time with my kids but that has lowered me even further In their estimation. I feel horrible when I'm around them. Have tried discussing but it keeps coming down to what a bad teen says was and how amazing she is. Don't want to lose everyone but what can I do? I am in cancelling and my therapist says my parents are toxic but that's not really overall helpful!

Who does your daughter live with? How old is she? Do you still live in the same town as your parents? Do you have a different type of relationship with your boys than with your daughter? How does your daughter feel about her grandparents being so intrusive? Does she know how much it upsets you? Is she closer with you or them?