Why? Damn it, why?!

I am such an a**. I am so very lazy personality inside-out. Since the break up I have been bluffing about working upon myself, this sh*t and that sh*t, but actually I am not doing a single damn thing.

I am sick of missing him like a mad. I am sick of regretting things, I am sick of talking or thinking about him, I am sick of living like a crap for almost 1.5 months. I want to do wonders, but damn me! I do nothing and nothing at all. I don't even prepare or study for my exams the way I have to. Why I just can't get over the fact that, yes, I messed up the things and I need to stop blaming myself again and again. Why can't I just stop treating myself like a piece of sh*t? Why I keep on saying that I am worthless and don't deserve anything good? After all it was just a break up which everyone goes through..

Why can't I just get my a** off to at least sincerely study?

Why the hell I am so lazy? Why?

I stumbled upon my ex's Instagram post and I just felt bad that this dude is making progress and all I am doing is just wasting my time, becoming a way too lazy girl to do anything and I suppose I have begun to live a delusional life.

Please, somebody for Christ sake guide me properly.

Get UP nd DO SOMETHING.

Sitting on a computer and reading about what crap you're allowing for yourself is no way to fix the crap that's going on in your life.

GET UP, go out, have a nice walk, enjoy nature then get back to what NEEDS to get done. Do this one day at a time and stop projecting past that one day.

Because you are choosing to.

If you are serious, you will stop the self-bashing and do something with your life. One way, is to get off this site, stop obsessing, and take your future seriously.

Block him from all social media.

I don't know where you got this idea about working on yourself. Most people can't change. What's wrong with you is you're depressed because of the breakup. You're allowed to grieve for a time. But you should at least hang around with your friends and talk it out with them. Or go sit outside in the sun or go to the beach. Do something that makes you feel good. The more you're out and about the more people you'll meet.