Ignored,childless,husband always away.please help!

I am crying now and considering divorce from my husband of 10 years. I don't want to divorce because I love him but I don't feel loved anymore. We have been through a lot,specially financial issues and I'm glad I now have the income. I thought we can go places now but instead he goes away somewhere with friends. He doesn't have time for me recently. From work, he goes out biking with his friends,a bar later till 1-2am before he comes back home. He does this almost everyday. Every time I tell him to spend time with me, he refuses. How can he have money to spend time with friends but not me?

Sometimes,he makes excuses why he' is always away. States I am now fat,I am not pretty anymore to demand for his time, That I am childless and he can stay home but we don't have kids for him to take care of. But I don't want to have a child just to make my husband stay at home. That's a horrible reason to want to have a child.

I confronted him about this, I said if he does not change, even if I don't want to, I will separate from him. Instead of doing something, he even dared me go ahead,file the papers and I'll sign them. I just am ashamed to ask for advice but I have no friends to talk to. I don't want to vomit suicide.I want a future with him but he is not cooperating. I already have a stressful job now and when I come home,I expect to see him. When I see him, I am happy no matter how busy my day was.

Please if somebody has any time, please advice me.I don't know what to do. Thank you.

You want one life, he seemingly wants a different life.

That's not marriage.

You have to challenge his words and actions, and then, if need be, acknowledge and accept them. (You can't force love and marriage.)

If he says he wants out, you have to ask him if that's what he really wants.

If he says yes, you will most likely have to tell him the next action step..., tell him to pack and leave now.

Only from that instant forward will you begin to know what's truly in his heart.

So sorry Ignored. This is dreadful.

"Every time I tell him to spend time with me, he refuses. How can he have money to spend time with friends but not me?

Sometimes,he makes excuses why he' is always away. States I am now fat,I am not pretty anymore to demand for his time,"

You don't need or deserve this kind of life. This man does not love you. If he did he wouldn't insult you.

Don't waste any more time on him.

This guy is awful. I am sorry you're going through this.

Are you sure he's actually going out with friends, biking and drinking, every night until the wee hours? You question how he has money to do this, but have you ever verified that's actually what he's up to?

Oh no. I'm so sorry your going through this and feeling so down. It sounds like your husband already checked out of the marriage and it may be time for you to do so as well. This doesn't sound like a rough patch it sounds like he has one foot out the door. He is disrespecting you by call you such hurtful names. There's someone out there that will treat you better!