Dealing with becoming an older woman...

Hi everyone.

First I want to say this post is basically about anyone..not just females who are 40 plus. Being a woman at this stage hasn't been really hard..yet. I take pretty good care of myself. I don't smoke. I work out, I get my hair and nails done. I take care of my skin. However, it is hard to miss how people treat you once they know how old you are. I often am told I look like Im in my mid to late 30's, which I love of course. I have a co worker in her mid 50's Who is such a negative Nancy. She constantly talks about how my age is going to creep up on me and how awful I will look and feel in another 5-10 years. I avoid her at all costs.

How do you all handle getting older and how do you view it? Im not really afraid of getting older I just want to still be healthy and active and just be happy.

Also how do you think age affects your dating life? I don't see myself as a 'cougar' type....lol

Well I'm a bit older than you and honestly I hate all of this getting older stuff, not because of what anyone says to me, but because I'm not a kid anymore. I suppose I want to live for almost ever. I love technology and want to see where it will go in the next X years, and that means I need to stay alive! I'm not afraid of getting older, just dont want to miss out on anything!

I dont like the idea that one day I may need help to do things, may have to quit driving, may need to live in a bungalow because stairs are too hard. I am nowhere near any of that, but I do think about it.

I played bass in a blues/classic rock band for several years until I moved and I am looking for a band to join in my new area, or I can start one. I look at the people around me who are around my age and they seem to have moved into potential senior-hood very acceptingly. Not me. I will keep fighting to not become a geezer at all costs!

As for that Negative Nancy you work with, just tune her out. People who think they are old will believe it and act it. I dont pretend I'm 25 but I am not ready for a rocking chair either. It's all about attitude! The best revenge is living well

Well I'm a bit older than you and honestly I hate all of this getting older stuff, not because of what anyone says to me, but because I'm not a kid anymore. I suppose I want to live for almost ever. I love technology and want to see where it will go in the next X years, and that means I need to stay alive! I'm not afraid of getting older, just dont want to miss out on anything!

 

I dont like the idea that one day I may need help to do things, may have to quit driving, may need to live in a bungalow because stairs are too hard. I am nowhere near any of that, but I do think about it.

 

I played bass in a blues/classic rock band for several years until I moved and I am looking for a band to join in my new area, or I can start one. I look at the people around me who are around my age and they seem to have moved into potential senior-hood very acceptingly. Not me. I will keep fighting to not become a geezer at all costs!

 

As for that Negative Nancy you work with, just tune her out. People who think they are old will believe it and act it. I dont pretend I'm 25 but I am not ready for a rocking chair either. It's all about attitude! The best revenge is living well

 

Thank you Mel....

 

I also am not trying to be 25 again. Im fact I had more fun after I turned 26 than I ever did. I would never want to revisit my early 20s. I guess none of us have ever been as old as we are right NOW...lol.

Thank you for your response and your perspective! I pretty much feel the same way as you.

As someone who got cancer as soon as I turned 50 and have had health problems all my life, the difficult part about aging is the body falling apart. So I eat healthy, work out hard, try to be healthy, but there are no guarantees. I am never going to look younger than I am, but I can look healthy and I can try my best. The problem with wanting to look young and be young is that it just fosters this culture's notion that getting older makes you less valuable as a human being. It's stupid. I know so much more about life, and enjoy things more because I do. I can vote intelligently and participate in politics and society in an informed way. We need to get over the need "to stay young," which is all I hear from my FIL who is married to someone young enough to be his daughter, and move on to "I want to be my best me" at whatever age. Also, you can't stop aging, so trying to is kind of a waste of time and energy.

I find it hard. Getting diagnosed with debilitating conditions in one way or another is not my fav. But what do we have but to truck on. No one believes I am going to be 51 but I am.

I don't want to be vain but I was pretty good looking and now I feel less so.

Just keep putting yourself out there. It'll keep you young and help you to meet people. To put together a band, there's websites like Craigslist and local sites like NextDoor.com. At your age, why bother telling men your true age. There's too much competition with 20-year-old bubbleheads. Let them think whatever. Tell them you're as young as you feel. And maybe don't be afraid to go for a younger guy, if you can deal with that. Good luck.

I think it's fun, other than the fact that I may have to finally retire the tankini (I'm early 50s). I love, love, LOVE my discounts through AARP! Get great deals on hotels and got a smoking deal on a car.

I do find it weird, though, when young men (I mean, like very early to late 20s) flirt with me and tell me they think I look young and hot. It's very unsettling to be hit on by kids who are the same age or younger than my kids.

I too would never, ever choose to go back to my 20s. I had my kids then and they are great, but I was so unsettled! I like how I think now.

As for the looks/physical thing. I quote Oprah often even though I don't much like her. She said she realized a long time ago she wasn't pretty so she decided to be smart instead. When you never were a beauty, "losing" your looks isn't as huge an impact as I would imagine it would be on a great beauty.

I think it's fun, other than the fact that I may have to finally retire the tankini (I'm early 50s). I love, love, LOVE my discounts through AARP! Get great deals on hotels and got a smoking deal on a car.

 

I do find it weird, though, when young men (I mean, like very early to late 20s) flirt with me and tell me they think I look young and hot. It's very unsettling to be hit on by kids who are the same age or younger than my kids.

 

I too would never, ever choose to go back to my 20s. I had my kids then and they are great, but I was so unsettled! I like how I think now.

 

As for the looks/physical thing. I quote Oprah often even though I don't much like her. She said she realized a long time ago she wasn't pretty so she decided to be smart instead. When you never were a beauty, "losing" your looks isn't as huge an impact as I would imagine it would be on a great beauty.

I was kind of an ugly kid....lol....sorry but it's true. I think I learned early on not to bank on my looks.

I like that quote though....

I was kind of an ugly kid....lol....sorry but it's true. I think I learned early on not to bank on my looks.

I like that quote though....

 

I was a funny-looking kid. Super, SUPER skinny, with crazy hair and a nose that didn't heal properly after I broke it and got no medical treatment. I didn't look like the other kids in my neighborhood or school, so they told me I was ugly. I do think I look better now, although I'll see pics of my younger days and realize I wasn't as un-hot as I thought I was.

 

I like the confidence that comes with age. Sure, I'd like my legs to be firmer and I suddenly have a pot belly I never had before and my butt sags a bit, but my mind and emotions are so much more secure.

Hi everyone.

 

First I want to say this post is basically about anyone..not just females who are 40 plus. Being a woman at this stage hasn't been really hard..yet. I take pretty good care of myself. I don't smoke. I work out, I get my hair and nails done. I take care of my skin. However, it is hard to miss how people treat you once they know how old you are. I often am told I look like Im in my mid to late 30's, which I love of course. I have a co worker in her mid 50's Who is such a negative Nancy. She constantly talks about how my age is going to creep up on me and how awful I will look and feel in another 5-10 years. I avoid her at all costs.

 

How do you all handle getting older and how do you view it? Im not really afraid of getting older I just want to still be healthy and active and just be happy.

 

Also how do you think age affects your dating life? I don't see myself as a 'cougar' type....lol[/quote

 

 

When your 65plus you'll be looking back at yourself now as a spring chicken.

 

Take care of yourself to the best of your ability, yes the body does age but you have strengths now which you didn't have when you were 22.

 

There's a few women who are catching my eye right now, 2 of them are in their early 40's. They've been looking after themselves all their lives and they have what I describe as fully grown, developed personalities. Yes younger women have an obvious appeal. But I also love to share and enjoy with a woman closer to my age.

Hi everyone.

 

First I want to say this post is basically about anyone..not just females who are 40 plus. Being a woman at this stage hasn't been really hard..yet. I take pretty good care of myself. I don't smoke. I work out, I get my hair and nails done. I take care of my skin. However, it is hard to miss how people treat you once they know how old you are. I often am told I look like Im in my mid to late 30's, which I love of course. I have a co worker in her mid 50's Who is such a negative Nancy. She constantly talks about how my age is going to creep up on me and how awful I will look and feel in another 5-10 years. I avoid her at all costs.

 

How do you all handle getting older and how do you view it? Im not really afraid of getting older I just want to still be healthy and active and just be happy.

 

Also how do you think age affects your dating life? I don't see myself as a 'cougar' type....lol

I think it's very individual. I am turning 51 next week. In many ways I am in much better health than 20-30 years ago because I eat better, drink more water, etc. How people treat me? I have an 8 year old, I have a part time job in my field where I'm in an office a few times a week - so "treat me" depends on what hat I am wearing, not my age (I've always looked younger). Here's my issue with getting older - getting older while having a young child and a job means less self-care, which means I really don't feel as attractive as I used to. I like my body, and my weight -I exercise regularly -but forget about time to fuss with my hair, to apply makeup carefully, to choose clothes that aren't gap/target/loungewear. I was no glamour girl back then but I had time to choose attractive clothing and -gasp -sometimes jewelry and accessories! - and could wear my hair down instead of in a scrunchy. So the age spots/wrinkles show more. I had a makeover planned and cancelled it because I got this job and plan on rescheduling. But I think it's much much more important to focus on being a slim healthy weight and working out (every day -not for a long period of time, but 7 days/week and have done regular exercise for 35 years)

Truth - I am thrilled I am not dating. I am so happy to have gotten married in my early 40s and to have met my husband in my late 30s. In my 40s I achieved a marriage license, a driver's license and a child (which should require a parenting license but doesn't lol). I faced fears and relocated and had to deal with what it meant to be a full time mom instead of a more than full time professional (and that was far harder than just aging). I lived with someone else for the first time. So all those changes are far more significant to me than aging.

If I were dating at this age I would be a lot more laid back about it I think and I can't stand that "cougar" label that's misused to refer to any age gap relationship. I'm 3 months older than my husband and he never lets me forget it LOL. I even refused to marry him until a week after he wanted to so that we'd be "the same age".

I'm totally opposite - I have never had any issues with getting older and have never understood why so many people find it so hard, or whatever. I don't get it. I find the older I get, the more awesome life gets. I'll take "old age" over youth any day, lol.

I'm totally opposite - I have never had any issues with getting older and have never understood why so many people find it so hard, or whatever. I don't get it. I find the older I get, the more awesome life gets. I'll take "old age" over youth any day, lol.

Well, I will take the youthful body back but take what I know now ... lol.

Well, I will take the youthful body back but take what I know now ... lol.

lol, I don't have any issue with my body either as not much has changed since my twenties. Guess I'm lucky, lol. Nothing wrong with "getting old", lol.

Tell her age is largely about attitude. Stay active and focus on what you love to do. Those things build upon themselves over the years, and that is one of the pluses of time. I appreciate getting older, no more headaches, no more periods, no more migraines, calmer, less worry, a greater perspective on life.

Tell her age is largely about attitude. Stay active and focus on what you love to do. Those things build upon themselves over the years, and that is one of the pluses of time. I appreciate getting older, no more headaches, no more periods, no more migraines, calmer, less worry, a greater perspective on life.

I am happy about no more periods or PMS, but my migraines still remain.

Honestly, I rarely look in the mirror now... I can't imagine doing it more often as I get older just to be dissatisfied with the addition of wrinkles, etc.

I'm a big advocate for "you're as old as you feel" and people often describe me as an 8-year-old (meaning, I still watch cartoons, have pen pals, act silly, cosplay, etc...) with a lawyer's brain and money. So... I imagine it'll be similar at 40, 70, and 90. I'm good with that.

I am happy about no more periods or PMS, but my migraines still remain.

 

(I am sorry you have them still; I wouldn't wish them on anyone. They would have me out flat, throwing up, dizzy and faint. If I had my wish, they'd disappear for everyone!)

(I am sorry you have them still; I wouldn't wish them on anyone. They would have me out flat, throwing up, dizzy and faint. If I had my wish, they'd disappear for everyone!)

For sure !!!

Heh heh. Define "old".

60 is the new 40.

I know people marrying for the first time at 40. Yes! I also know people running a business in their late seventies.

Bad health can strike at any age, 20, 30, 40, or even 15.

(I am sorry you have them still; I wouldn't wish them on anyone. They would have me out flat, throwing up, dizzy and faint. If I had my wish, they'd disappear for everyone!)

Turning 51 - still get them. But started late (at 15). Sigh.