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Thread: Not attracted to my gf of 10 months without makeup

  1. #1
    Americanguy97

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    Not attracted to my gf of 10 months without makeup

    Hey not sure if this is the right place to ask this but here it goes.

    Okay so my girlfriend and I get along so well. We have the same sense of humour, similar aspirations, and we are each others best friends. Literally the only problem I have, and I hate that it's a problem, is that I am not really attracted to her when she isnt wearing makeup. She is out of my league when she is all dolled up but when she isn't, which she only does around me, she isn't as attractive (probably less attractive than other women I've been with).. Absolutely beautiful features but she has bad skin, mostly acne scars. She does take care of herself but she doesn't seem to care as much as I do. I probably care more tbh and that most likely stems from my own insecurities.. She is such a good girl but I want to be physically attracted to her no matter how much effort she puts into her appearance. I guess what I'm wondering, is it possible to be in a truly happy relationship with someone who you aren't naturally attracted to? Will I feel like I'm settling years down the line?

    BTW I hope I don't seem like too much of a shallow , it's just something I had to get off of my chest.

  2. #2
    abitbroken
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    Yes you are very shallow. This woman can't help that she has acne scars. Sometimes people as a teen take great care of the skin but sometimes it runs in families to have severe acne issues. You are not "settling" because you have a wonderful woman who is your best friend who has a great sense of humor and has similar aspirations as you and is beautiful but she unfortunately she is dating a jerk. Break up with her and don't hang on to her as a friend - set her free so she can find a man who is honored to have a wonderful woman at his side. I really feel you don't love this woman - because if you did, you would love her with or without makeup. Or grow the heck up. I am sure you don't look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney or whoever people find attractive these days either.

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    ThatwasThen
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    You've been with her for 10 months... surely you love her for more then what she looks like without makeup by now... you know, for her personality and how she makes you feel valued and all that.

    I suspect she isn't attracted to you when you've got morning breath but it's something that someone overlooks when they are actually in love with that person.

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    abitbroken
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatwasThen [Register to see the link]
    You've been with her for 10 months... surely you love her for more then what she looks like without makeup by now... you know, for her personality and how she makes you feel valued and all that.

    I suspect she isn't attracted to you when you've got morning breath but it's something that someone overlooks when they are actually in love with that person.
    And she doesn't think about the beer gut he is sure to have in 15 years.

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    Unreasonable
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    I'm not going to say you're shallow (though you may well be), but I WILL say your relationship is shallow. It is not uncommon for people to let themselves go when they get into a serious relationship. People's looks universally fade over time too. Established relationships can survive that. Shallow one's won't.

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  9. #6
    rosephase
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    Ugh. It doesn't sound like you should date this woman. You do come off as shallow. But hey! You are shallow! You should let this woman find someone who is actually attracted to her. It's the nicest thing to do. Do you think she would really want to stay with you if you told her you only think she is hot in make-up? yuck. If you are shallow only date people who already meet your beauty standards and hope and pray they don't get old or have an accident or gain weight... or any other life things.

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  11. #7
    Americanguy97

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatwasThen [Register to see the link]
    You've been with her for 10 months... surely you love her for more then what she looks like without makeup by now... you know, for her personality and how she makes you feel valued and all that.

    I suspect she isn't attracted to you when you've got morning breath but it's something that someone overlooks when they are actually in love with that person.
    Thank you for the not so harsh reply

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  13. #8
    Americanguy97

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    I am attracted to her. I guess the difference is I find her sexy and beautiful with makeup and cute/pretty without it. The question wasn't asking if I'm shallow, I said I know this is going to come off shallow. The question was can a relationship be sustained without physical attraction and will I be truly happy down the line.

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  15. #9
    Americanguy97

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    Also this is my first relationship I've had. She is 19, I just turned 20. I don't have things figured out yet. I know I love this girl regardless of what any of you internet experts think but I really want honest advice that does not include me breaking up with her cause that's the last thing I want to do.

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  17. #10
    ThatwasThen
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    Quote Originally Posted by Americanguy97 [Register to see the link]
    Also this is my first relationship I've had. She is 19, I just turned 20. I don't have things figured out yet. I know I love this girl regardless of what any of you internet experts think but I really want honest advice that does not include me breaking up with her cause that's the last thing I want to do.
    Well, all I can say is that when you really love someone, you don't stop being attracted to them just because they're not done up 24/7.

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