Broke up so why do I feel unsure

So I meet this guy and he's totally not my type but somehow we click and I liked his uniform(I'm a sucker for military men.) I tell myself give him one date, don't be shallow. We fell into an easy conversation like we've known each other forever. I was in love and it blinded me. There were red flags but I chose to ignore them telling myself he's into me.

He was "divorced" (I'll explain the quotes) with two kids. But he was possessive way too soon. After a month of dating we went out with my aunt and her friends. he totally freaked out bc he thought one of the guys was flirting with me and I with him. I let it slide bc he had trust issues from his ex.

After maybe 6 months of dating he proposed.

We move in together, and somehow I was the only income because during that time was the government shutdown and he didn't get paid for almost two months. My measly savings was gone, but he had no problems using my income to feed his kids during visits and to take them out. But hey I was still in love and dumb as .

We get evicted bc I can't afford rent so his bright idea was to move a state over and I leave my job to be near his job and kids. We still can't afford rent in our new place, so he pawns the engagement ring he gave me promising to replace it. I get knocked up. Jobless pregnant and still stupid and in love we get evicted from place # 2. All of the above happens within two years. Meanwhile he sells me this story that his ex has screwed him over with child support and that's why we have no money from his job. He also tries to sell me the story that she refused to sign the divorce papers and he didn't realize they were still married.

I'm ing six months pregnant and they "re-file" the divorce papers and are legally divorced a mere three months before my son is born. Now bc we were evicted from our second home, he finds this hole trailer for us that has no running water.

He promises things will get better and this hole is temporary. Oh and btw we open credit cards and utilities in my name cause "his ex ed up his credit." Two and a half years into living in a hovel and arguing all the time about money and the fact that he spends more on smokes and pot than on me and the baby.

Meanwhile he's built up quite a large amount on child support arrears and I'm starting to see he's not the great father he tried to paint to me. I feel like I gave up everything to be with him, and sacrificed so much for him and get crumbs of affection from him.

He paints this beautiful picture about how much I mean to him and how much he loves me. But other than the $1500 engagement ring he got me the few gifts I've gotten were a few cheap flowers and jewelry. And those are the nicest thing s he done for me and I was still blinded somehow by love for this man.

So our son is two years old growing up in this hole trailer still with no running water. We have to use the neighbors shower and buy bottled water. We run out our stay here too and the electricity gets cut off and we owe money to the guy he bought the trailer from and the guy wants it back.

His friend suggested to him to use his army retirement to buy a business. I ask him if he in fact have a retirement fund and he says "of course." I had been arguing with him to use his army retirement to bail us out, but he gives me flimsy excuse after excuse not to. Finally he admits he lied, and that love veil I had slips.

Out of options I bow my head and asks my mom to take me and my son in. She doesn't like this deadbeat guy and can you blame her? So he's not welcome. 6 months into living with my mom rent free and jobless. She talks some sense into me and tells me to applying for state benefits. Bc she can no longer afford to keep another two mouths in her house with only one income.

So I tell mr deadbeat, "look you had six months to get your together but you're still homeless. I have to do what's best for me and the kid. I have to apply for welfare to get back in my feet and get a job and need help with daycare so I can work. State benefits will pursue child support to pay for the benefits."

After the child support hearing he freaks and blames me for screwing up his life and now my child support order the other one for his two other kids will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Pissed off at his reaction, we finally break up.

I'm angry and upset and somehow feel guilty. But I can't think of what I owe him to feel this way. The child support sends his boss a letter something about non compliance to deduct child support from his pay, so he gets fired. Again I get a text saying I ruined his life. And again I feel guilty. I think maybe I should go help him with lowering the child support payments, and then I think why the hell should I?

He texts me over the weekend asking if i was sure I want to end this officially because he doesn't want to be alone for the rest of his life and doesn't want to do anything he'll regret just in case I change my mind. He says he's trying to change for me and I'm not giving him a chance and I'll regret this when he gets his together.

I guess maybe my question is if someone can somehow see it from his point of view and tell me if I'm actually being the he's making me feel like I am or what? I just don't have anyone to confide in, and feel lost and alone.

From an outsider's perspective, it sounds like you will be much better off if you just move on. Do what's right for your kid and work toward getting a job, stable income, and a place for the two of you. Moving on will actually open doors for you to potentially meet a man who will be a great father and role model for your kid. Do you want your child to be raised in a household where your SO smokes pot and is clearly irresponsible and unable to contribute? Imagine the great happiness you will get out of someone who treats you well, shares with you and even treats you to things?

Wow. This clown has used and manipulated you from Day 1.

No, you shouldn't feel bad for him. Why? Because he's full of horse manure - he's not going to get his life together. He certainly doesn't love you. He's questioning you because you took away his ATM.

OP, pardon me for being blunt, but give you head a shake girl. This dude is bad, bad news and he zeroed in on you because he could see you have no boundaries and would give him whatever he wanted. That's why he's trying to make you feel bad now; he wants his Sugar Mama back.

Please, for your own and your child's sake, stay away from this lowlife. Get your dignity back, build up your self-esteem so you don't allow bottom-feeders like this one to take advantage of you again in the future. Work on a plan to get your own life back in order so you can raise your child as an awesome single mom. You will be standing in line with his ex looking for child support, but if you have enough stability in your life on your own, you can learn to be self-reliant.

Just out of pure curiosity, where did you meet this man, and how old is he? And you?