Jump to content

New Guy, First Date, Need Tips!


JustMizz

Recommended Posts

I chatted with this guy all week. We really have a lot in common. I've sat back and let him do most of the initiating. He has text and called and we've covered all of the important questions. We're both looking for a relationship. I haven't had any anxiety, but I was super nervous about meeting him.

 

He drove about 13 hours today to take his son back to his mother. His son spent the summer with him. And he wanted to meet me when he got back, said he didn't want to wait until tomorrow. I've been sick this week with tonsillitis, he said it was worth the risk.

 

He picked me up and we went to eat. Had a nice, casual conversation. I'm very attracted to him and have a good feeling. We didn't plan things well, and after dinner really didn't know what to do. He asked if we could hang at my house (he lives a half hour away) I declined because my daughter is home and I don't bring guys around her so soon. He said he understood and said maybe we should call it a night and plan better next weekend. I knew he was tired so I agreed.

 

Then he brought me home, we talked for a few. He asked if I was good with seeing him next weekend and I said yes. And that was it.

 

He's supposed to text me when he gets home. We'll see.

 

Does it seem like I handled myself okay? I know I won't know his true intent for a while, but what do y'all think?

Link to comment
  • Replies 145
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Please don't get upset or overthink if he doesn't text you tonight! It seems like he had a super busy day.

 

Give him an adequate opportunity to contact you, please. A day or two seems reasonable to me.

 

I'm not going to fret over it. I've learned a lot from my last fiasco. Lol

Link to comment
I was a little worried since he didn't attempt to kiss me. But, I could still be contagious, so maybe he didn't want to risk it that far. 😂

 

OK, I want you to promise you won't get hung up on minutiae. You know, things that will not matter in the grand scheme. Things that will make you stress and worry and get anxious about. Enjoy this!

Link to comment
OK, I want you to promise you won't get hung up on minutiae. You know, things that will not matter in the grand scheme. Things that will make you stress and worry and get anxious about. Enjoy this!

 

I promise I am not going to stress or worry. If he doesn't like me, then he doesn't like me.

Link to comment
I do like him, though.

 

Would it be bad to text asking if he made it home safely? Or am I to just assume he did?

 

It's fine if you want to give him the impression that you're hoping he asks you out again and you're waiting to hear from him. I'd assume unless there was some emergency reason he might not have.

Link to comment
It's fine if you want to give him the impression that you're hoping he asks you out again and you're waiting to hear from him. I'd assume unless there was some emergency reason he might not have.

 

Well, he was extremely tired.

 

I don't want to come off as desperate.

Link to comment
I didn't want to mess up by texting him first. Lol, ugh.

 

I hate to be so formulaic because dating shouldn't be that way, things should just progress naturally but since you may have a hard time with your anxiety,I will say this: Look at your texting like a game of tennis. You can't hit the ball back until he hits it to you right? Do not double text and if you feel you have to, write it down and send it to yourself. And walk away, focus on other stuff. Like I've said before, I have anxiety with dating too, and this has worked for me. I don't care how many excuses you come up with in your mind DO NOT OVER TEXT HIM.

Link to comment
I hate to be so formulaic because dating shouldn't be that way, things should just progress naturally but since you may have a hard time with your anxiety,I will say this: Look at your texting like a game of tennis. You can't hit the ball back until he hits it to you right? Do not double text and if you feel you have to, write it down and send it to yourself. And walk away, focus on other stuff. Like I've said before, I have anxiety with dating too, and this has worked for me. I don't care how many excuses you come up with in your mind DO NOT OVER TEXT HIM.

 

I think it's hard to rely on "naturally" if the situation involves someone who is really into someone else and perhaps not being her/his usually secure, reasonably confident self. First impressions count a lot including after you've first met and for the first several dates.

Link to comment
I hate to be so formulaic because dating shouldn't be that way, things should just progress naturally but since you may have a hard time with your anxiety,I will say this: Look at your texting like a game of tennis. You can't hit the ball back until he hits it to you right? Do not double text and if you feel you have to, write it down and send it to yourself. And walk away, focus on other stuff. Like I've said before, I have anxiety with dating too, and this has worked for me. I don't care how many excuses you come up with in your mind DO NOT OVER TEXT HIM.

 

Oh, I refuse to over text ever again. I'm just upset because I felt I did everything right. I thought he was genuinely interested in me. We really had amazing conversations all week. Have lots in common and he made sure that I knew he was excited to meet me and that he was serious about our potential relationship.

 

I know I don't look different in person than I do in my pics. I was extremely nervous and may have come off as a little flaky. He talked a lot, and I tried my best to add to the conversation. I didn't bring up my ex, but he did by asking how long I've been single. I answered directly and didn't stay on that topic. (We had already discussed this, too)

 

Idk, now I'm starting to overanalyze. I'm trying to keep busy, but it's hard not to worry. He's text me every morning this past week until today.

Link to comment
Oh, I refuse to over text ever again. I'm just upset because I felt I did everything right. I thought he was genuinely interested in me. We really had amazing conversations all week. Have lots in common and he made sure that I knew he was excited to meet me and that he was serious about our potential relationship.

 

I know I don't look different in person than I do in my pics. I was extremely nervous and may have come off as a little flaky. He talked a lot, and I tried my best to add to the conversation. I didn't bring up my ex, but he did by asking how long I've been single. I answered directly and didn't stay on that topic.

 

Idk, now I'm starting to overanalyze. I'm trying to keep busy, but it's hard not to worry. He's text me every morning this past week until today.

 

I don't agree with any of this as far as any prediction as far as whether there would be more than one meet. Until you met he was for all dating purposes a complete stranger, even if you had great convos and your pics are accurate. There is nothing at all to worry about because as I wrote above, the expectation should be that unless there is a plan -time and place- for an official first date after a first meet, there is no next date. Enjoy the memories of your conversations (and perhaps don't get so attached to someone next time before you meet). There is no waiting and there is no worrying. If he calls and asks you out for a date, great -you'll decide then whether you're still interested and available.

 

It doesn't matter how often he texted you before you met him in person -that's not a pattern in the least. If you're dating a month or so and talk regularly at a certain time of the week or day and that changes, fine, that's a pattern. You met this person once in person. I had several -many -great first meets and dates and never saw the person again. It's called dating and it happens even though it can be disappointing/stressful.

Link to comment
Well, he said he was going to hang out with his friends today. We'll see what the week brings.

 

I was really trying to take a step back from dating, but he kind of came out of nowhere. Think I'm going back to stepping back.

 

There's no need to step back -you just stepped far too forward with a stranger, making assumptions base on one week of typing and talking before you met. And it didn't come out of nowhere - perhaps the initial introduction but you chose to communicate with him for a week before meeting.

Link to comment
I'm not really all that attached to him. I'm just a little disappointed.

 

What are you already upset about? You promised you wouldn't get all anxious and overthink, and you promised you'd give him a minute to contact you. Hasn't it only been since yesterday that you heard from him?

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...