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Thread: I'm scared my boyfriend is loosing interest

  1. #1
    Amelias

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    I'm scared my boyfriend is loosing interest

    Let's start from the beginning. My boyfriend who we will call a has liked me for 3 years and I finally decided to say yes almost 9 months ago. At the beginning I wasn't very sure because I wasn't confident about having a relationship but he made me feel comfortable. Things we brilliant until about 5 months in and he started calling and texting me a lot less like a massive drop but I understand that is normal. He is currently on holiday and I won't see him for 4 weeks. He is on holiday with his foster family and is foster sister who we will call h. Ive noticed in the past he acts funny with me when I'm not with him and very blunt but I assumed that's just how he is now he has settled in to the relationship but he stopped talking to h for 3 weeks and he was showing me a lot more attention. I honestly trust that there is nothing going on, especially as h and I get on ok, but I noticed as they started to talk again on this holiday he has been acting blunt again. At the beginning, which wasn't my birthday, he would do anything to not talk to me (as it seemed) I would text him and his niece would respond not him. Everything kicked off and not a and I but someone from each of our sides had a huge argument which left us a bit rocky. The reason they did that was because a and I had fallen out. Anyway his niece left a few days later and he was fine with me but then h was acting off with him again so he showed me more attention. Now they have fixed it he is being blunt. I just don't know what to do. Every time we talk on the phone he begs to leave and doesn't want to talk even if he rings me. He won't respond to any of my texts either. I just feel like he doesn't care, and I'm scared that it's me pushing me away. Please someone help.
    Last edited by Amelias; 08-02-2017 at 03:40 PM.

  2. #2
    lovehermit
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    It looks like he is more interested in someone else or something than you. For now, if you can, give him some space. If he continues his attitude towards, I think it is time to call it quits. Painful it may be, but it will be for the better of you.

  3. #3
    cwages203115
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    He sounds like he has a lot on his mind, but my boyfriend did me the same way, put his friends and his social life before me, well, something happened unexpectedly and we weren't in contact with each other for a year, he said that he was lost without me when we started talking again, if you really love and care for each other this will help, if he's really losing interest like you think this will tell you, I'm not saying not talk for a year, just for a couple of weeks, see what happens

  4. #4
    j.man
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    What does "very blunt" mean? It may be he's simply not a calling or texting type. If he doesn't get regular opportunity to vacation with his foster family, I'd give him some space and not put so much expectation on frequent communication.

    And what was this argument between people on each of your sides? Who initiated it? What was it about? Why had you and "a" fallen out? Seems like a decent amount of drama you just glossed over.

    Are you thinking that "h," (better to use capital letters if you're going to substitute them for names) his foster sister and him have something going on? Not sure why you would need to specify that trust isn't a factor there.

    On top of everything, taking 2+ years to finally give him the time of day doesn't exactly lay the best of foundations for a relationship. Hard to say what's going on, whether he's just preoccupied with his holiday or if the 2+ years of expectations haven't panned out how he thought they would.

  5. #5
    MissCanuck
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    I don't really understand what you're getting at, so a few questions to clarify:

    What does his foster sister have to do with his attention toward you? Do you think he's interested in her?

    Why was his niece answering his phone?

    Who had this big argument that left you rocky, and why were they involved at all?

    What do you mean he begs to leave when you talk on the phone - he wants to end the call?

    How old are you both?

  6. #6
    DanZee
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    Your instincts are correct! He's withdrawing from you. If he was in love with you, he would be acting completely different.

    Are you a teen? Just move on. There's plenty of nice boys out there who would love to be loved and return that love.

  7. #7
    Amelias

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    its not a think something is going on, I think he just tries to act cool around her because she is very popular.
    We had a falling out because I rung him at 11:30 on the day before my birthday because he said he would ring m and he didn't which I admit i shouldn't have done, but he said he was going to ring me at 12:00 anyway. I asked if he was busy and everything and he said he wasn't but he kept leaving the room and was leaving me with H and his niece. The last I heard from him was he had to go which by this time I was a bit upset that I didn't get to talk to him. Anyway the next day I told my friend about it and she nicked my phone and rung him. She left him a voicemail which wasn't nice at all so H rung me trying to have a go at me about it but my other friend answered and told her it wasn't my business or her business. H then said she would pass the phone to A so we could sort it out but when I got the phone he passed it to his niece so I didn't actually get to talk to him. She also had a go at me for the voicemail. The only thing I got to say to A was talk later.

  8. #8
    Amelias

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    No I don't think anything is going on, I just think because she is quite popular A feels like he has to put on a brace face around her. I have no clue why she was answering the phone. It was originally to do with A and I but everyone got involved and I'm not sure why. We will be on the phone and the next minute he would just be desperate to leave instead of just saying I have to go. We are starting our final school year in September.

  9. #9
    MissCanuck
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    This is all such a bizarre way to have a relationship. How old are you both, OP?

    Your friend was completely out of line calling up your boyfriend to argue with him. Why did you let her do that? It's awfully ironic that your friend told H this was none of their business. Lots of immaturity on both sides there.

    I still don't understand what you mean when you say you called your boyfriend and he kept leaving the room and leaving you with his foster sister and niece. Did he have you on speaker phone or something? Just left the phone and walked away? This doesn't make much sense.

    Too many people are involved in your relationship. But I'm afraid I need to concur that he is fading away. He doesn't sound interested in keeping this going at all.

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