Age Difference!

I'm an 48 year old woman who was with her ex for 3 years. He had a Passing in the family i knew the person very well. I wanted to give the family time to grieve. We loved each other so much. We supported each other in everything last month early July, he called me to break up with me. He lived with his mother. I believe in some ways she was racist of me. Used terms like- black don't crack! And I asked if she would like to meet my mother her response was why would I want to meet your mother? I understand that he is close to her She has manipulated him stating before i die i would like some grand children preferably white not black. I had my Tarot cards read on July 10 &14. Stated that we will reconnect with each other. We were meant to be together. I haven't spoken to him in 5 weeks. Suggestions! What to do.

This isn't sounding good, Reynolds. What was the age difference?

It looks like he is choosing family (mother) over you and if that is how he feels then just let him go.

This isn't sounding good, Reynolds. What was the age difference?

 

It looks like he is choosing family (mother) over you and if that is how he feels then just let him go.

The age is 30. I have gone through alot. And having him really changed me completely. His sister had passed away she brought us together. The mother is a very wicked woman. He had told me that she was never satisfied with any woman whatsoever.

The age is 30. I have gone through alot. And having him really changed me completely. His sister had passed away she brought us together. The mother is a very wicked woman. He had told me that she was never satisfied with any woman whatsoever.

Also his parents are divorced. Everyone on his father's side loved and respected me. They hate her alot. Mother had kept him away from his relatives until he was 18.

This isn't sounding good, Reynolds. What was the age difference?

 

It looks like he is choosing family (mother) over you and if that is how he feels then just let him go.

Why is this hurting so much. He is a good person. He needs to get away from his mother.

He is how old?

Reynolds. I take it this man is 30 years old.

You haven't heard from him in five weeks.

And once again I fear he is so under his mother's influence that I don't think that this would be a half-way happy relationship for you anyhow.

" She has manipulated him stating before i die i would like some grand children preferably white not black. "

He is how old?

He is 30 and I'm 48. We were together for 3 years. His sister had passed Way on June 7. We knew each other for a long time.

His sister brought us together.

He is 30 and I'm 48. We were together for 3 years. His sister had passed Way on June 7. We knew each other for a long time.

Oh ok. I understand better now. I am sorry for yours and his loss . I also can't believe too there are still racist people in this world .

OP:

"......early July, he called me to break up with me."

So, in reply to your question "Suggestions. What to do?"

It does sound as if he has taken a decision, you haven't heard from him in five weeks, and perhaps it would be best to just get on with your life.

Yes. I know in my heart that he loves me. He unfriended me on Facebook. Removed all the pictures. When you are going through the previous years my name is mentioned. He is on my messenger. Had my Tarot cards done July 10 /14. Told we will reconnect. We were meant to be together. 3 years is a long time. We took care each other.

Please don't have false hopes Reynolds.

I by no means wish to ridicule anyone's beliefs, but having the cards read doesn't mean anything. No one can tell the future, cards or no cards.

Maybe he loves you, but if he loved you enough he'd crawl over broken glass to get to you, and not bend to his mother's wishes and whims. If you were important to him he'd be with you, regardless.

You see what I mean?

I had my Tarot cards read on July 10 &14. Stated that we will reconnect with each other.

A skeptic's view: Tarot card readers tell you what you want to hear - it's their job. You wanted to hear you'd get back together, so that's what they told you.

A skeptic's view: Tarot card readers tell you what you want to hear - it's their job. You wanted to hear you'd get back together, so that's what they told you.

I feel very stupid more than you know.

OP:

 

"......early July, he called me to break up with me."

 

So, in reply to your question "Suggestions. What to do?"

 

It does sound as if he has taken a decision, you haven't heard from him in five weeks, and perhaps it would be best to just get on with your life.

It took me 15-22 years to trust someone. Never trusting anyone again.

Why was this, R?

"It took me 15-22 years to trust someone. "

You know just because this man doesn't have the backbone required to stand up to his mother (at age 30!), does not mean you cannot meet someone who lives in a healthier type of environment and have a happy relationship.

Why was this, R?

 

"It took me 15-22 years to trust someone. "

 

You know just because this man doesn't have the backbone required to stand up to his mother (at age 30!), does not mean you cannot meet someone who lives in a healthier type of environment and have a happy relationship.

Another ex had caused me so emotional damage. It made me not trust anymone. This person was someone special. His sister brought us together that is why this is hurting me so much. His father wanted me to take care of his son.

Aaaahhh no, Reynolds, this is not a good approach, ever.

"His father wanted me to take care of his son."

Why would you want to become a mother to any man? So so unhealthy OP.

Why would his father be looking for a "mother" for him?

A relationship is with a man, in all senses of that word, and not with a sort of surrogate son. A healthy relationship is interdependent.

Reynolds you know it is just as well this situation has come to an end.

Just a question : has this man some kind of disability or shortcoming that he would need an older woman to look after him.

I ask that because of your remark about his father wanting you to take care of his son.

What I meant by that when his sister passed he wanted me to be there for support. He has always loved older women obviously by hanging around his mother.

Oh dear!!

"He has always loved older women obviously by hanging around his mother."

Not a good reason for loving older women, OP. Theirs is a most unhealthy relationship, no matter how you view it.

Has he ever had relationships with women before, of all ages?

He had relationships his age was very bored.He has adhd from his mother. He had nothing. Meaning he was bootie calls all the time. We had talked for year and a half. I made him wait for 1 year before we made love. I somewhat changed him. His mother never had a problem with age. After his sister passed she did. Couldn't say my age at all.

I really hope that some time he will stand up to his mother

It isn't likely he will stand up to his mother if he hasn't done so by age 33. And you say he has ADHD.

He has a lot of problems, OP, and he needs professional help to move out of the unhealthy enmeshment he has with his mother.

Essentially it isn't your age, OP, as from your original post her problem is with your race. Right?

I honestly think you need to find yourself a healthy relationship, OP. This isn't it.

Once the dust settles do you think he will look for me by any chance.