"Break up" in marriage and infidelity

I'm driving myself nuts and would just like some POSITIVE insight. I can not take any negativity.

Me and my husband got into a fight weekend before last. He was trying to take the car that's in myname and had been drinking so I said no and he called the police. They said it doesn't matter if it's in my name we are married. I proclaimed to them I knew that. If he wanted to leave he could walk, I will not be left with a 10 month old (our son together) without a vehicle. So he left. He comes back in the morning ranting and raving about how I didn't care to check on him. I went I bed shortly after he left. So the fight drags on. He tells me to leave. Was yelling and being verbally abusive. We said hurtful things to each other. I leave to Texas, we live in Oklahoma so it's an 1hr 1/2 drive. I stay with a girlfriend he tells me he's really done for me not to come back and his has happened once before we were married so I was like whatever we just need some space. We have been fighting for a month about how he works 5-6 12 hour days and I work take care of our son cook clean manager bills ect. He didn't feel appreciated and neither did I. Anyways while I'm gone I sense he means business that it's done so I be as sweet as possible and beg him I tell him we are married with a kid he can't just give up. He proceeds to go with he doesn't want to be with me. I come back home a couple nights later and he gets a hotel. He says he wants to catch up on sleep. The whole time I was gone I found out he made a plenty of fish profile. He also downloaded live me which is a live stream app and Kik. Which he lied about all of it saying he downloaded it for a few seconds then deleted it. I dig a little further. Turns out when he was in the hotel he stayed up until 3 am talking to another woman talking sexual and sending naked photos. He said he couldnt get into it and that he was just trying to get over me. 4 days after we break up! Like really?? We are married there is no breaking up so I feel. I would like if he let me recover the deleted Kik messages to let me see what all happened but he won't let me I feel it's really bad because he told me bits and pieces but he lies and I want to see the truth for myself. I picked him up the next morning from the hotel and we dtd. This is before I knew about the girl on Kik. Now I feel he may have been thinking about her and the night before. After I find out he says he can only get hard for me, that he felt bad and it was wrong the whole time he just wanted to see if he could get over me and he says it was wrong but it made him realize his love for me which I find is bulls**t lol. What if he cheats while we are together or it gets rough again so he does this again ? I keep asking myself how can he love me and do this after a short time of not being with me? I know he has done this to his ex when they would break up and a couple times when they were together. After they broke up he did this same thing with multiple women 50 or more at least. I don't want a broken marriage but I can't find myself getting over this I get sick looking at him. I feel betrayed. Sorry for long story. I would just like some insight. TIA.

Hi,

First off I'm sorry for all he's put you through. I know you have a son but please leave him, it would not be a good situation if you two stayed married and kept fighting in front of your son. You two are toxic for each other and your husband has a lot of that to blame.

Think of your son and how much happier and healthier he would be knowing mommy is doing better without screaming at daddy for daddy being a jerk.

Lisa

Ask him to join you in counselling and if he won't go, then you go alone. Perhaps the psychological help will give you the courage you need to do what is right for you and your son (whether that be stick it out with him or leave him). I don't suggest you stay without the help. Your little guy doesn't need to see you fighting, mis-trusting one another, not showing one another affection etc. You don't trust him, neither of you have husband/wife time for the other either so it's not going to get better unless you have help coming up with a plan that will work to get you both back in husband/wife mode along with that working parents mode which is all you're in right now.