Lost need help

I don't know where to start .i am so lost totally broken .its started when I had a retinal detachment in my eye every day I wake up and it kills me that i can't see like I use to.

But it's T I met him 10 months ago. I love him so much I made mistakes I broke up with him because we couldn't marry soon. because of his visa issue in Sweden. I don't know why I did that.

He loved me so much and I ruined things because of my anger. He was suicidal twice and is getting therapy . They have told him to stay away for relationships and falling in love . He has called the wedding off but still wants to be with me but says I should be patient. If it will be it will is what he said. I want him to be happy . He has high because of the relationship and me stressing him to suicide. I wish I could go back .

I am so sad. But I know I can't force him to be how he was before. I don't know if I should leave him alone or wait and see what happens . I am going to Sweden on the 31st . He said he need to put his life first before the relationship. Doctor don't want him to be with anyone. But he said he still wants me . I don't want to like I am so confused.

Going to try get therapy. I need help .

Leaving the lover and two good eyes out of the equation for a moment, if you dreamed the best life you could possibly have for yourself, what would it look like? What do you do? What do you love? Who are your friends and loved ones (platonic love), are you keeping in touch with them? Are there things you want to learn? Goals you want to achieve? What things are within your control? What things can you do to move your life in the direction you want it to go in?

Thanks for the message.I would love to start my own business one day have kids and have a few good friends .travel to many place is what my dream life would probably be like.my eye would be better too.

I love to read visit museums . I want to travel more .i work in customer service siting behind a desk which probably isn't good for my eye . I have a chronic disease so certain job I won't be able to do.

I want to learn more language make new friends. I have friends at work but I became. I use to go more often but these days I don't feel like it I feel sad I want to get better. It all hurts. thanks for getting back to me it close to mid night in the U.K. I will try to sleep .

Some of those things are well within your ability to affect, go doooo (but also sleep and do good self care and all that).