Was I Stalked?

About a week ago, I was walking and I littered on the footpath. Next minute, an older lady came up towards me in her car. Our conversation was something like this,

"Excuse me, but I believe that you littered near my house?" Said woman asked.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," I say back.

"Now, I'll be reporting this to (insert Town) Council. It's been happening a lot around here and I'm getting sick of it."

"Alright," I say. Then said woman drives away.

The next afternoon, my parents receive a fine (I live with them). They ask what happened and I tell them. But here's the catch, how did that woman find our address? I mean, I'm just a girl in a large suburban area and, as you saw in my conversation, she didn't ask for any sort of information. So that leads my parents and I to believe that she stalked me and followed me home.

Now we looked said woman up, matching a name to a face. Turns out that she's a member of the Council. Now, I don't know about databases containing information like addresses or ID. So the following questions, which I have, are listed below.

Q1) Is there a way a person could find you through a database or the Internet?

Q2) Did she abuse her position by following me, if she did?

Q3) Is this stalking? And if so, what type?

Sorry that this is quite long, I'm just looking for answers. But thanks for reading this!

No, you weren't. Here's a definition of stalking.repeated[/b] following and harassment of another person, and is a very traumatic experience for the victim. In your case, it just sounds as though she's got fed up with people like yourself chucking their rubbish outside her home and decided to do something about it. She has no more stalked you than you've stalked her by looking her up online.

Please don't make yourself out to be a victim here. It's rather insulting to people who genuinely are the victims of stalkers. Just put your rubbish in a bin in future, eh?

I get it. You are kinda creeped out that a stranger knows where you live.

Did you grow up in the area? Have you lived in that house a long time? Do you live far from that lady's house?

I ask because - while I don't make it my business to know who lives in each house, I do tend to know where a lot of the children live. Not because I'm a creepy creeper - but just because small people tend to be noisy, busy creatures. They will often tear by you on their bikes, or jump in front of your car when a ball goes into the street or run around screaming. It's just noticeable. So - while you may not do those things anymore, if you have lived there a long time, she may simply know where you live. Also, being on town council (presumably elected), she likely makes it her business to know who lives where. Or maybe she's knocked on your door before. Also, not to stereotype, but if she's an older lady, they sometimes tend to know these things. (My mom and a lady down her street seem to know everything about everyone who lives in the area - they are ALL about everybody's business).

She may not have followed you, and I'm not sure it would qualify as an abuse of power to follow you. I do question, though, if town council members have the right to issue tickets? And if not, the legality of them taking her at her word to issue the ticket/fine? You might need to check your bylaws.

That said - you are guilty. You did the deed. You should probably just pay the fine and be done with it.

Finally - please don't litter. Lol! I live in a house that has a lot of foot traffic going by (near a school) and I am forever having to go out with my garden gloves before mowing the lawn to pick up whatever trash people felt fit to throw on my lawn (or just blew there). Popsicle wrappers. Bottle caps. Unidentifiable wrappers and paper. And it's usually rained since then. It's pretty gross. Those things don't disppear. They end up someone else's problem. Maybe you can shove a little plastic bag in your purse for such instances? I'm sure there is a garbage not too far. Everyone (and the animals and the environment) would appreciate it.

No, you were not stalked.

She is on the Council and likely knows a lot more about the area residents than you realized. Council members generally do. Pay your fine, and don't be a litterbug next time.

Lol. It's funny you think you were stalked.

You littered, were somewhat dismissive when approached, and now you're upset she found you.

I can think of a half dozen ways she could figure out who you are.

The answer to your question, finding you is quite easily done. NO you were not stalked. No she is not abusing her position in order for you to get a fine on littering that she personally witnessed and that you were so dismissive about. I dare say that had you been more apologetic, more humble, and offered to go back and pick it up, she would have left you be.

You were however caught red handed littering, you were dismissive and hoping to get away with it, except you got caught and fined. Good on the city for issuing fines. Don't know about UK, but here in the US in some states fines for littering can be huge and very much legal. We are talking $500-$1000 in fines for littering.

The only lesson you need to take away from this is that there are consequences for your actions. Although if your parents are allowing you to even think you are a poor little victim and question the fine, then frankly you are in for a rough ride in this world. Your parents may not be teaching you about consequences of your actions, but life and society at large sure will.

Fully agree Dancing.

And I think those US fines are most appropriate and maybe should be even higher.

UK: (from a report in The Times)

Fines for littering are to double to £150 and drivers will be held responsible for passengers who throw rubbish out of their cars under government plans to clean up the country.

Andrea Leadsom, the environment secretary, will unveil the first national litter strategy today in an effort to cut the £800 million clean-up bill paid by taxpayers.

Under the proposals, the most serious offenders will be hit with the £150 fines. At present, the standard fine for littering is £75.

Nope. You were not stalked. And you would have had no problems if you had not chosen to throw trash on somebody's lawn. I hope you are paying your parents back for the fine.

...though in the UK, it's not at all unusual for people who make other people's lives a misery to complain if they're held to account for it. Undoubtedly the OP's perspective on this will change if she ever has to spend ages clearing other people's rubbish, dog mess etc off her own property; or her pets' paws are cut to ribbons by broken glass from bottles that other people have thrown around the place.

Maybe she found you by following the litter trail?

The idea of littering is crazy to me. I've never ever thought it's ok.

are you one of those people that leaves their shopping cart willy nilly in a parking lot?

Nope. Not stalking. She may have filmed you or taken your pic, then asked around.

The up side is that same neighbor or those like her who watch the area could mitigate a crime that could have otherwise impacted you someday. They may have already prevented such a thing.

I'd pay the fine, learn my lesson and use trash cans responsibly. In order to have good neighbors, you need to become one.

Look, I think I need to address some things.

1) I ACCIDENTLY did it. The wrapper fell out of my pocket.

2) I didn't leave any sort of trail, so the woman couldn't have followed me because of that.

3) I live in the U.K. So laws work slightly differently here.

4) The Council also has rules about fines, like it has to be issued on the spot by someone on duty.

5) The area I was walking in I don't even know anyone there! So how would anyone be able to recognise my face, unless they knew my name?

Why not bend down and pick it up? It would have averted the whole issue. Either way you were not stalked. I have been stalked and that is not it.

I live in the UK. I HAVE been stalked, and reported it to the police. You haven't.

Look, I think I need to address some things.

1) I ACCIDENTLY did it. The wrapper fell out of my pocket.

2) I didn't leave any sort of trail, so the woman couldn't have followed me because of that.

3) I live in the U.K. So laws work slightly differently here.

4) The Council also has rules about fines, like it has to be issued on the spot by someone on duty.

5) The area I was walking in I don't even know anyone there! So how would anyone be able to recognise my face, unless they knew my name?

She most likely took your photo and presented it to the counsel in order to identify you. Perhaps she gave a vivid description of your face instead. It's not that hard, considering the resources they must have. You said you were guilty even, so she has a statement now. Although it was an accident, why did you not think you would get fined by a council member that said she was going to report you? One would think she had enough information out of you up until she approached you in order to say that. It would have been legal for you to say you didn't realize you dropped it and then went to pick it up to dispose of. Perhaps next time?

I live in the UK. I HAVE been stalked, and reported it to the police. You haven't.

If you're not convinced, phone your local police station and see how you get on.... just to help you prepare, here's a link

Why not just call your Council and find out?

Clearly they don't actually need to give a fine on the spot, or they wouldn't have mailed anything.

You seem mostly bothered you got caught.

Look, I think I need to address some things.

1) I ACCIDENTLY did it. The wrapper fell out of my pocket.

2) I didn't leave any sort of trail, so the woman couldn't have followed me because of that.

3) I live in the U.K. So laws work slightly differently here.

4) The Council also has rules about fines, like it has to be issued on the spot by someone on duty.

5) The area I was walking in I don't even know anyone there! So how would anyone be able to recognise my face, unless they knew my name?

I can appreciate that you'd be curious about how she found you. If you don't live in the area, then did you get into a car or a have license displayed on a bike that she could have observed get into or onto? Or, there may have been surveillance cameras on the premises.

She informed you on the spot that she'd be reporting you, and you said 'alright,' so that may cover the 'on the spot' thing.

You may have avoided this by adding to your apology that the offense was not intentional, and you'll trace your steps to pick up anything you may have dropped--and then do that. As it stands, you may not 'like' the fine, but you do owe it, so I'd pay it and not try to fight it. These don't sound like people you'll want as an enemy, and it's also the 'right' thing to do.

Head high, we all make mistakes.

I don't think you were technically stalked. But I can appreciate that you are bothered by the way this person questioned you and then arranged the fine. It is a bit peculiar. If she ever approaches or says anything to you again, just call the cops. Someone contacting her should give a clear message that people don't appreciate her harassment. You said sorry and it was an accident, end of story. You weren't dismissive of her.