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Thread: Was it rape?

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    Was it rape?

    Hi there. I am married and have been with my husband for ten years. Never once cheated on him and never blamed to do it. I was out on Saturday with my friends and was really drunk but the time the club shut. I left my friends to go on my way and got chatting to this guy. I vaguely remember being in a taxi with him and then i was back at his house. I just remember crashing on his bed and then i remember bits with us having sex. I can't remember removing my clothes and i have a bruise on my wrist. I seem to remember participating at times but there was an occassion where i tried to push him away but he still continued. I have told my husband and i have we have went to the police. I can't get rid of the guilt as i feel that i was unfaithful to my husband. I explained to police and my husband that even when i was single i never went back to some random guys house. I feel this is my fault. My husband says if u are that drunk you were taken advantage of and that it is not in my nature to cheat. Any advice appreciated.

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    Look into the laws of your country. But it is rape in my country. Drunk people can't consent. I am so sorry this happened to you. I was drugged at a bar and then later raped when I was an older teen.

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    Sorry to hear that happened to you. I am from the UK. The police are taking it very seriously. Just finding this difficult.

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    Originally Posted by crazybaby
    Sorry to hear that happened to you. I am from the UK. The police are taking it very seriously. Just finding this difficult.
    It is very difficult to process. I am glad you went to the police. Please remember the CRIMINAL is at fault. If you need help processing therapy is very helpful.

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    I remember him trying to give me oral sex but i said no and he stopped that. But guess nothing to do with his pleasure. I feel disgusting. I am contacting rape crisis helpline tonight and going to get rape counselling. I just feel like a dirty cheat and keep blaming myself. Not sure whether or not to give a full statement to the police at the moment.

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    Originally Posted by crazybaby
    I remember him trying to give me oral sex but i said no and he stopped that. But guess nothing to do with his pleasure. I feel disgusting. I am contacting rape crisis helpline tonight and going to get rape counselling. I just feel like a dirty cheat and keep blaming myself. Not sure whether or not to give a full statement to the police at the moment.
    I would talk with rape crisis. Getting help sooner rather than later is far more successful. It is natural to feel shame but you are not responsible HE is.

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    Thank you for your kind words. I just want to move on and get better. I just feel really bad but i need to realise that he took advantage of the situation. Imagine doing that to someone really drunk.

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    And that is the thing people need to understand people who are intoxicated cannot consent . Leave them alone . In many countries you are breaking the law if you have sex with someone who is intoxicated.

    Many people don't teach their kids this.

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    Can i ask which country you are from?

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    Originally Posted by crazybaby
    Can i ask which country you are from?
    I am Canadian.

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