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Thread: Was it rape?

  1. #11
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    Consent when drunk is kinda a grey area where i am from. But i was in no shape to consent and i would not risk my marriage just to jump in bed with some random guy and without a condom. Getting tested etc.. in a couple of weeks. But i am determined not to have this guy destroy me. Going to get the help i need. Was off work due to anxiety but returning next week. Was going to get signed off longer but feel it may be best to return. Certainly beats taking time off and just sitting at home sulking.

  2. #12
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Well, sulking is not the right term. Recovering is. When traumatized people often need help to process and get to a point where they are totally functional . I was raped as a child and teen by 3 different people it took a lot of therapy and different types of therapy to get to where I am today decades later . You don't ever forget but you get better at dealing with it .

  3. #13
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    Yeah your right. I have been raped before by an ex partner. Buried it deep for 6 months. Really difficult but i recovered. Got counselling for that. I have to say i never would have went to uni and done well for myself if it didn't happen. I have a good feeling i will thrive again after overcoming this. I am getting a range of emotions. Part of me feels down and part of me really wants to fight this. But i don't think taking anymore time off work would be beneficial. Guess i need to keep busy and have some normality.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by crazybaby
    Yeah your right. I have been raped before by an ex partner. Buried it deep for 6 months. Really difficult but i recovered. Got counselling for that. I have to say i never would have went to uni and done well for myself if it didn't happen. I have a good feeling i will thrive again after overcoming this. I am getting a range of emotions. Part of me feels down and part of me really wants to fight this. But i don't think taking anymore time off work would be beneficial. Guess i need to keep busy and have some normality.
    Then you know you will still go on . However ,I do think more therapy would be beneficial . I did have therapy initially as a child but not enough . And I refused therapy for 3 decades. In my 40s I had a complete nervous breakdown and for time became a non-functional as in did not even feed or dress myself. It took three years of therapies to bring me back to where it was before and beyond that . I still have PTSD but I'm completely functional now .

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Definitely rape.

    I hope you can find a counsellor to help you cope with the ongoing issues that you will have to come to terms with. I hope you can remain strong and it's good to hear that you have a positive attitude on not letting this man take you down. It's also good that you have a decent husband who is willing to stand by your side through all of this.

    I hope you can recover as best as possible and I am sorry this happened to you.

  7. #16
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    I agree with everything that's been said - but I also wanted to add that I think you need new friends.

    I (or anyone in my friend group) would never allow an intoxicated person (esp. a woman) make their own way home. Nor would we let them get in a taxi with a stranger or leave with someone they don't know. (If they want to hook up, take their number and hook up some other time). It just wouldn't happen.

    I don't think your friends are to blame - but I do think that they are more 'acquaintances'. They weren't really looking out for you, yanno?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member faraday's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that this happened to you

  9. #18
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    They never knew i was with him. I have many times managed to get a taxi myself. There is no way my friends would let me go off with him. I did not meet him in the bar. If i were to tell my friends what happened they would be devastated and i know one for sure will blame himself.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Definitely rape.

    I hope you can find a counsellor to help you cope with the ongoing issues that you will have to come to terms with. I hope you can remain strong and it's good to hear that you have a positive attitude on not letting this man take you down. It's also good that you have a decent husband who is willing to stand by your side through all of this.

    I hope you can recover as best as possible and I am sorry this happened to you.
    Thank you for your kind words. I am on the phone to rape crisis tonight

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by RedDress
    I agree with everything that's been said - but I also wanted to add that I think you need new friends.

    I (or anyone in my friend group) would never allow an intoxicated person (esp. a woman) make their own way home. Nor would we let them get in a taxi with a stranger or leave with someone they don't know. (If they want to hook up, take their number and hook up some other time). It just wouldn't happen.

    I don't think your friends are to blame - but I do think that they are more 'acquaintances'. They weren't really looking out for you, yanno?
    They never knew i was with him. I have many times managed to get a taxi myself. There is no way my friends would let me go off with him. I did not meet him in the bar. If i were to tell my friends what happened they would be devastated and i know one for sure will blame himself.

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