At work..

So i have this weird dynamic with one of my clients.

We talk everyday for work, when we fight, its pretty bad. This is all over the phone. I'm the main point of contact for him in my company over email and phone.

We meet in person every few months and he completely avoids interacting with me in person. He avoids eye contact, even if he's answering my question or discussing what i just mentioned, he'll look at my colleague or my manager. Its like he prefers talking to them over me.

I'm not sure why he does that. Even his manager talks to me considering I'm the main person handling the work.

I feel a bit weird by the end and just naturally go silent...

Even if he's shaking hands with me, he'll barely look at me.

I'm not sure how to feel here. Then he's just normal over the phone.

...when we fight...

What sort of industry do you work in where fighting with clients is an expected aspect of your job?

Where there are negotations and disagreements

Where there are negotations and disagreements

word......

How should i tackle this... Should i try being nicer on the phone?

Where there are negotations and disagreements

negotiations entails mediating, not arguing.

How should i tackle this... Should i try being nicer on the phone?

i think it'll be hard for anyone on here to say, as we don't know the nature of the work, and what the arguments are about. perhaps someone at your company can advise you on how to deal with difficult clients. alternatively, you can look for educational courses on mediating disputes with clients for your line of work specifically.

we don't really understand the dynamics, and which party has leverage, or what their demands and expectations are.

I agree with RainyCoast...not enough info. My first thought is that this man is your client, therefore the fact that you are arguing with him is pretty terrible customer service. Outside of that, I really can't say mich without more info.

When it comes to work, I'd suggest that you leave your feelings at home. The real question you should be asking and working on is how to handle difficult clients in the best and most effective manner possible. This includes negotiation strategies that do not lead to fighting and strategies on diffusing tension during disagreements without just rolling over and doing whatever the other side wants. There are tons of books out there for that.

Also, your life will be a whole lot easier if you accept that some people will be rude, nasty, dismissive, disrespectful, etc. The better you are able to ignore that and not take it personally and just focus on getting your job done and being professional on your end, the better off you'll be. With that and with time you might also find that you will end up earning people's respect. Regardless, always keep in mind that you just can't win them all and it's best to keep your emotions out of that.

I agree to all the above responses - but I also think by the way he's not looking you in the eye is that he is intimated by you. (possibly feels better with the anonymity behind the phone, - sounds like you two are trolling each other re work stuff and he's possibly the more the passive one) - that's just my thoughts.

Seriously arguing with a customer or anyone on the phone is bad form. Be a better person, and clean it up.

L.

He's avoiding you because you're unprofessional. You don't fight at work. Negotiating is about mutual benefit, not screwing each other over.