The story of me and my husband - life long commitment

I met him through an online dating site. He was living an hour north of me when we met. We started seeing each other on the weekends and after about three months, he moved to my city to live with me. We got engaged the following Christmas and got married a year and a half later. July 8th was our anniversary. He is my heart , my love, and I adore him. He has got the most positive up beat attitude about life and takes every day as a gift. He has a teenage daughter as well.

Ever since I have been with him, I have blossomed in my career and made and fostered personal relationships with family and friends wonderfully as well. He used to lie a lot but he has changed night and day and I have changed night and day as well. Actually I really got myself back. I used to be a shallow, materialistic, racist, excuse for a human being. I have found the core of my heart again and I love life and I love people and I love this world and its people. I hope that God will help me here. I come on this site as an outlet for my emotions. I have a lot of down time at my job so I come on this site. I hope I can help other people with what I have learned.

The truth is that we had a rocky relationship at the beginning. Then I broke my ankle and had surgery and had to use crutches for about 4 months. We lived on the third story of an apartment complex and I used to have to climb 3 flights of stairs everyday and he completely changed and took a greater role in taking care of me.

After you get married things change. You are committed for life and so you have a different attitude. Things are not temporary anymore and you have to grab all of the good times and let go of the bad because you know you are in a stable, permanent stable relationship. You don't try to hang on to instances of good times because every single day is a good time now for the rest of your life. Your concept of time changes. I dont know what else to say but that I hope everyone finds their soulmate and lives happily ever after.

My question is that he smokes pot everyday. Is he an addict, does he need help?

Bear in mind I don't smoke weed, but I don't consider having a quick joint after work to be any worse than someone having beer or two once he gets home. Now if he's coming home and then toking up in the back room for several hours, not chipping in while you take care of all the at-home responsibilities, that's another matter.

Bear in mind I don't smoke weed, but I don't consider having a quick joint after work to be any worse than someone having beer or two once he gets home. Now if he's coming home and then toking up in the back room for several hours, not chipping in while you take care of all the at-home responsibilities, that's another matter.

He smokes a lot when he gets home but he still manages to hold a full time job a good one and do house chores like laundry and cooking and cleaning.

I guess I am just fed up by the way he handles money. We pretty much go broke everyweek and spend our entire paycheck the minute we get it on bills and food. We have not figured out how to get out of the red.

Everything else is fine though!

Like I had insurance on automatic withdrawl and he got mad that our account went into negative because of it, but I am thinking, we have got to pay insurance we cant NOT pay it.

My question is that he smokes pot everyday. Is he an addict, does he need help?

We started seeing each other on the weekends and after about three months, he moved to my city to live with me. We got engaged the following Christmas and got married a year and a half later. July 8th was our anniversary.

Pot is soon to be legal here and it's no worse then him drinking, however; If he's in debt and he's using money he should be using to get out of debt on weed, then he's got a problem.... maybe the two of you ought to see a financial planner.

Is the pot smoking and money issues perhaps the reason why you keep wanting to reconnect with exes? Maybe yearning for a time when you didn't have those worries?

Is the pot smoking and money issues perhaps the reason why you keep wanting to reconnect with exes? Maybe yearning for a time when you didn't have those worries?

Yes! I feel so stuck . Even though we have a good relationship there are a lot of stressors that makes this difficult for me. I mean is love enough?

Your first post makes it sound like everything's wonderful and perfect, but then you do a complete 180.

My guess is your first post is how you'd like things to be, not how they really are.

I felt a lot of pressure to get into this relationship. He asked me to marry him about 9 months after we met. He is financially unstable and I pay for a lot of things but now that he has a good job it is pretty much 40/60. I also help him take care of his daughter, I mean he really acts like he couldn't do all of this without me. I have committed to him and a life with him with helping his daughter and helping pay our bills. He is such a wonderful person but sometimes I just want to be alone.

He has helped me in so many positive ways like helping me be stable at work and just the act of taking care of someone else has brought me back to health.

I also do admit I smoke with him sometimes and ever since I started, I have dropped 2 of my medications successfully, lithium and oxcarezerpene. I still take olanzepine and lexapro generic, but he has done wonders for my well being.

Does your doctor know you self-medicate with marijuana?

And have you ever thought that it's the pot that's giving you the munchies, not your other medications?

Does your doctor know you self-medicate with marijuana?

 

And have you ever thought that it's the pot that's giving you the munchies, not your other medications?

My doctor does not know and I dont do it that often, I mean he does it every single day and I do when there is a special occasion or a concert or something.

My doctor told me not to do it because I reported feeling paranoia after the first time that I did it, but I worked through my issues and now its a walk in the park. That is one reason I thought I could give up olanzepine because psychologically the psychosis that I take the olanzepine for does not exist anymore. Does that make sense? What do you think?

My doctor does not know and I dont do it that often, I mean he does it every single day and I do when there is a special occasion or a concert or something.

 

My doctor told me not to do it because I reported feeling paranoia after the first time that I did it, but I worked through my issues and now its a walk in the park. That is one reason I thought I could give up olanzepine because psychologically the psychosis that I take the olanzepine for does not exist anymore. Does that make sense? What do you think?

Yes, but is your husband on the medications you're on?

I think it's highly (pun not intended) relevant to let your doctor know ALL drugs you are using, including ones not prescribed. In fact, every time I visit my doctor they ask me to list everything I take, including unprescribed drugs and over the counter medicines. You are withholding some very important information from your doctor.

And stopping medications without consulting your doctor first is also very risky.

And yeah, sounds like maybe you have pot munchies and that's what's causing your weight gain.

Yes, but is your husband on the medications you're on?

 

No he is not on that medication or any medication. He is very healthy.

Do the munchies last for weeks after you smoke?

No he is not on that medication or any medication. He is very healthy.

 

Do the munchies last for weeks after you smoke?

No lol. I was actually kind of being a bit facetious.

It depends on your standards and values. I did not date anyone who smoked pot but, personally, was ok if they'd smoke it in college or in the distant past and had stopped forever. That was before pot was used for medication. I would date someone who was prescribed marijuana as medication within certain limits. It's really such an individual and personal decision.

Well, my brother smokes pot.

He used to smoke only on weekends when he didn't have his kids. Then he started dating a woman who smokes every day. He's now escalated to smoking with her several times a week. Now he has a "medical card", so it's legal for him to smoke. Problem is, he doesn't seem to recognize how things have started to go downhill since he increased his smoking. He's a VP of a large company but is starting to miss out on things with his kids and always seems to be high when he's not at work. I'm sure from his side things are fine but from my side (the sober side) it just doesn't look good. Technically he's "functioning", but not nearly as well as he did sober.

Just my take on it.

Well, my brother smokes pot.

 

He used to smoke only on weekends when he didn't have his kids. Then he started dating a woman who smokes every day. He's now escalated to smoking with her several times a week. Now he has a "medical card", so it's legal for him to smoke. Problem is, he doesn't seem to recognize how things have started to go downhill since he increased his smoking. He's a VP of a large company but is starting to miss out on things with his kids and always seems to be high when he's not at work. I'm sure from his side things are fine but from my side (the sober side) it just doesn't look good. Technically he's "functioning", but not nearly as well as he did sober.

 

Just my take on it.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel like I have to stick through this with him and maybe at some point down the road we will figure out our finances. I liked it, it was completely alien my first experience but now it just feels like drinking or something.

"We spend our entire paycheck the minute we get it on bills and food. "

This is 95% of society. With saving you just have to do it, even if it is $10 a week. But generally the fun stuff comes after retirement if you plan properly.

But generally we pay our dues before the fun.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel like I have to stick through this with him and maybe at some point down the road we will figure out our finances. I liked it, it was completely alien my first experience but now it just feels like drinking or something.

Have the fantasies of contacting your exes stopped?

Yes! I feel so stuck . Even though we have a good relationship there are a lot of stressors that makes this difficult for me. I mean is love enough?

Like I said, I'm sure there will be a lot more about him you're not jiggy with as you actually get to know him.... You knew squat about him when you moved him in.

I mean is love enough?

Side Note: Please do not turn this thread into one about the EX, as it will get closed. Please stick to the original topic. - Thanks peeps!

Lol I wont

Boltnrun, can I PM you?

I apologize if this is not up to date, as I'm just tuning in and haven't read all responses yet.

You link two things together: his pot smoking and financial trouble. Do you believe that he spends too much on pot, and that it's a direct cause of your financial issues?

No, That is not the issue. I just wonder about why he does it everyday.