G24 m30 do i take her back!?

I've been very conflicted with the situation I've been in. My ex gf wants to get back together after a 5month break. We started dating when she was 20, a month away from 21. We were together for 3 years, def had our ups and downs, she said she always worried about my commitment issues I.E. marriage, kids, etc, never if I would cheat or anything of that nature. She said she needed time for herself and needed to realize what she really wanted/wants. Fast forwarding to present day. She told me that she slept with the same guy 3 times who she met at her workplace, she is a waitress, and while we were going thru hard times, I know this guy was telling her everything she wanted to hear. He also had spent the night over there a couple times. She said he has meant nothing, and the talks that we have had I truly believe her, she has broke down multiple times, saying how much she messed up a great thing we had, and how much she misses everything we had. She actually has quit her waitress job and blocked his phone number and from all social media. I want more than anything to jump back into things because I do love her dearly but I'm having a very hard time getting over this guy she was with. Plus, being young still who knows if shell do it again, even after she has been promising me up and down that this is forever. I know I'm going to get a bunch of comments about how she was free to do as she pleased and I 100% agree with you, just looking for some advice. Thank you.

in answer to your title i would say no. you might think it would be nice to go back with her. however, you have already stated that you had our ups and downs in the past, so those ups and downs could well still be there. then you have her sleeping with someone else to deal with.

i would say this is doomed. i would close the door on it and go NC.

good luck though, on whatever you decide.

blocked his phone number and from all social media.

She has shown through her actions that she is done with him. You should take her back. You guys are still really young.

She said she needed time for herself and needed to realize what she really wanted/wants.

Sounds like she had feelings for the guy at work at that time. Hopefully she didn't act on it before you guys split up. Just because she blocked someone's number and social media....doesn't mean anything....there could be a million reasons...not just the one she's telling you.

Ultimately it's your decision, but I think you could regret it if you did take her back.

Good luck.

I agree with you that there definitely could be a million reasons why she did. She actually was in California at the time when she sent me this mile long message about how much she misses everything. She said she cut off everything with this guy like two weeks before she left. But then the next day I get a FB message from his sister in law. I found out this guy was in his final stages of a divorce so I confronted her about that and she told me about it. She said they were both going through a rough time and she was using him.

Sounds like a case of GIGS if every I heard one. She decided you weren't good enough and had hoped to trade up to this other guy. But after shagging him a couple of times she realised that it wasn't going to be anything like the relationship with you so has decided to come back.

Honestly, it is never going to be the same and if you should get back together, I predict it will be short lived because she will realise why she broke up in the first place and leave again.

I could go either way on this. I mean if she slept with the dude once, or had a long term relationship with him then that's one thing. I mean three times? C'mon.

I'm betting she's going to get back with you, "reignite" that spark. The flame is going to die out after a month and you're going to be left holding the bag.

Since you're so young, it's up to you if you want to roll the dice. Life is precious and there is no take backsies when it comes to time.

So when a challenge comes up in the relationship, her coping mechanism is to break it off with you and sleep with the guy at work who's been giving her attention.

Take her back and you'll validate that what she did was ok. And that means it will most probably happen again. Her age isn't an excuse, she's an adult. This is who she is and how she does things, if you're really ok with that then take her back. But dont have any expectations that she'll change. Definitely not marriage material in my books.

She said they were both going through a rough time and she was using him.

What a lovely person. And what a positive and healthy way to cope with a rough time.