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Thread: I've Made A Mess!

  1. #1
    JustMizz
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    I've Made A Mess!

    A few weeks ago I went on the best date I have ever experienced. He brought me flowers and we walked on the beach. We had a blast! He kept saying it was the best date he has had. He brought me home, we made out, but did not have sex. Before he left he asked when he could see me again and I said how about tomorrow? When he got home he was texting how much fun he had, that he missed me already and couldn't wait to see me again.

    The next morning he text and asked if I was ready for our next adventure. He picked me up and we went to eat, rode adounda bit ended up at his place.....well, you know what happened. We spent the entire day together. After dropping me off at home he was texting that he had a great time and couldn't wait to see me again.

    I ended up going to his place a few more times during the week. One day was my birthday.

    All the while he always text me first thing in the morning and I thought things were going well. After getting home from the last day I spent with him, I text him to talk about where I stood. We never had the "what are you looking for" talk. He said he liked me a lot but it was hard for him to get close because he was still hurt from his divorce. But he stresses twice that we would get there...meaning a relationship, as long as I didn't make him feel rushed. This was on a Thursday. Every morning he was still texting me first, and all weekend I tried to hint that i wanted to see him, but he was busy with friends, which was cool. On Saturday I finally just said I want to see you, he said he wanted to see me, too, and I asked when. He said if not tonight then definitely tomorrow. Well, Sunday came and he said he would try to stop by. I didn't hear back from him for the rest of the say.

    By Monday night, I still hadn't heard from him and I lost control. I text a long winded message letting him know I didn't appreciate being blown off, that I sat all day waiting to hear from him. No reply. I tried to keep my cool but ended up sending a few more texts, probably a bit too needy, then finally, on Tuesday, a text apologizing for blowing up without knowing what had actually happened. That evening he text saying he was dealing with stuff and his dad had a bad cancer screen and to please let him sort things out a bit. He also stressed that I didn't do anything wrong. I thanked him for the reply and wished his dad well.

    The next night I text asking how he was doing. He replied, vaguely, then disappeared and didn't read my messages (on Facebook). I said, well I just wanted to see how you was doing and let you know I was thinking about you. He never read it. I just let it go. Yesterday (Saturday) I messaged saying I missed talking to him. He was active but didn't respond. A little later I messaged telling him I needed him to let me know if he was still interested. He didn't read it. Then I noticed he replied to a post on his wall after I sent my messages, so I lost it again and sent a message basically saying I didn't deserve being ignored and wouldn't tolerate it. I wasn't rude, but let it known I was fed up. Then I unfriended him.

    Now I feel like a total jerk and wish I could undo it all. I'm seriously into this guy and feel I blew it. I couldn't be patient for him but something tells me he's not being honest with me. I'm just not sure if its my intuition or me being paranoid.

    Is this salvageable? What should I do? Do you think he's not interested?

  2. #2
    Cope
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    First of all, breathe! It's going to be alright! I know you really like this guy right now but if it doesn't work out it's probably not going to be your fault.

    If I've learned anything in my life from relationships, is that if two people want each other, they stay together.

    That said, stop texting! You are right for feeling neglected but you won't get anything out of texting him again. He knows how you feel, repeating it will not get you anything.

    He seems to have valid reasons to not be engaging with you. Your over texting might have thrown him a bit off BUT if he really really likes you, it is salvageable if you don't text again. I know it's hard, but see it as an opportunity to practice your patience.

  3. #3
    Cope
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    To add : we can't know for sure what his intentions are. You made yours clear. If he's a decent human being, he will reach out at some point to either continue seeing you or tell you he's not interested.

    If he's not decent and he doesn't do either, you doged a bullet!

  4. #4
    JustMizz
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    Cope, thank you so much. I told him in my last message that I wouldn't bother him any longer and I will not text him again.

    I do wish I hadnt of unfriended him on Facebook. If I don't hear from him by next weekend, would it seem desperate if I send him a request? Is it best I do nothing since I left the "ball in his court"?

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  6. #5
    Cope
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    I wouldn't do anything. No request, no nothing. You made yourself crystal clear, the ball indeed is in his court. Work on your insecurities and don't expect him to reply. Not that he won't, but it's important for you to not focus on him. If you two are a match he will come, if not, good riddance.

    You did go a bit overboard, that's why I'm suggesting to work on your insecurities, that's usually where these reactions have their roots in. Work on yourself and try not to think of him. A nice way is to start chatting on OLD profiles, unless you consider it cheating I don't know how you've defined the relationship. Also, whenever you have the urge to text, post here there are many kind people who will help you not to!

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  8. #6
    JustMizz
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    I don't view it as cheating at this point, but I have no interest in meeting anyone else, at this point.

    Maybe I'll feel better in a few days. 😢

  9. #7
    Time2growup
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    I feel for you. His reasons could be any, the fact he made sure to text you first thing every morning with lovely texts is making me feel just like me you rushed to hard into wit things. Like Cope said, if you made that good impression and it was the best first date, just maybe he'll come back like most of us men do. But him ignoring your messages on fb isn't right. That's a *fck boy thing to do. I also recommend of viewing what you post on fb as I left myself vunerable and finally feel so much better off social media. You seem a genuine lovely woman. Some man will relish your attention and see you for who you are. You deserve better,

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  11. #8
    Cope
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustMizz [Register to see the link]
    I don't view it as cheating at this point, but I have no interest in meeting anyone else, at this point.

    Maybe I'll feel better in a few days. 😢
    I'm sure you don't feel like meeting anyone, I never said to meet anyone, just chat, it helps!

    Another thing I'm sure of is that you will feel better soon! First of all don't consider it over, it might not be. Think of it like an obstacle with this one guy you're dating and you are just curious to see if he returns.

    Meanwhile it's extremely important to focus on you! Why do you think you overreacted? Was it him? Was it you? Both? Was the relationship already going downhill before this?

    Do things you love! Try to remember that fulfillment comes from within, not from others. Search for "the missing piece meets the big O" by Shel Silverstein on YouTube.
    Keep us posted!

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  13. #9
    JustMizz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Time2growup [Register to see the link]
    I feel for you. His reasons could be any, the fact he made sure to text you first thing every morning with lovely texts is making me feel just like me you rushed to hard into wit things. Like Cope said, if you made that good impression and it was the best first date, just maybe he'll come back like most of us men do. But him ignoring your messages on fb isn't right. That's a *fck boy thing to do. I also recommend of viewing what you post on fb as I left myself vunerable and finally feel so much better off social media. You seem a genuine lovely woman. Some man will relish your attention and see you for who you are. You deserve better,
    Thank you so much!

  14. #10
    JustMizz
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cope [Register to see the link]

    Meanwhile it's extremely important to focus on you! Why do you think you overreacted? Was it him? Was it you? Both? Was the relationship already going downhill before this?
    I believe I overreacted because I was so caught off guard. After our chat about where I stood, I let my guard down and felt I was safe to feel what I was feeling. Then, BAM! He blew me off and ignored me. My anxiety got the best of me, and I let it control my actions.

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