Do i pay off his debt?

Me and my partner have been together coming up a year, i belive its love and im now at this awkward situation, my partner has a gambling problem he is knee deep in debt, im financially stable and ive offered too pay off some of his debt, have i made the right decision?

Thanks

Nope. You don't just bail him out. How do you know he won't repeat this again? Or go gamble with your money? Do you ever want your money back?

He needs to learn.

Ive said, to pay it off when he can, but told him not too gamble with it or gamble too try get it baxk and hes promised he wouldnt, im only paying off the debt he owes a family member...

What treatment is he attending for his gambling addiction?

Is he avoiding casinos and card rooms?

I say no way. He may need the help of Gamblers Anonymous to learn to control his addiction. You cant count on any addict to say they will straighten out and never backslide. He needs help to learn how to stop gambling and develop some coping mechanisms.

If you insist on paying his relative, I hope you never expect to see that money back.

Yes if you want to gift him the money and don't care if he ever pays you back -you will feel no resentment.

Ive said, to pay it off when he can, but told him not too gamble with it or gamble too try get it baxk and hes promised he wouldnt, im only paying off the debt he owes a family member...

Oh, he promised? In that case you're all good.

/sarcasm

The worst thing you can do it pay it off.

Hes not getting any help.. says he should go gamblers anonymous.. im 24 and hes 28, so i kinda feel like were still young in a way?

I dont condome his gambling and i try to stop him where i can, i just worry its going to get more serious hes been gambling for 10 years already..

Hes not getting any help.. says he should go gamblers anonymous.. im 24 and hes 28, so i kinda feel like were still young in a way?

I dont condome his gambling and i try to stop him where i can, i just worry its going to get more serious hes been gambling for 10 years already..

He's been gambling for 10 years but you think he's young and he'll just outgrow it???

You cannot stop him. Only HE can stop himself with professional help.

Yes, it will get more serious. He will lose everything and then he will lose everything you have.

The problem has got better though in the past he would max out credit cards just too get money too gamble but he doesnt do that anymore, hes started to gamble without the ues of actual money, he was very open when we first got together about his gambling situation, hes never asked me for money even though he knows i am financially stable.. the way i was thinking is im sat on money that is just sat in a bank doing nothing and he is in crippling debt which is causing family problems.. i feel stupid for saying i would but i cant go back now can i?

Don't blame your age on bad money choices.

This would be a deal breaker for me.

You would be a fool to pay off his debts.

Yes, he needs money. But paying it off would not make this problem go away. It would enable it, and you cannot take the word of an addict that they won't do this again.

He needs professional help, both for his addiction and his financial problems. You cannot provide that help. Please, do not give your money to him. You will regret it.

The problem has got better though in the past he would max out credit cards just too get money too gamble but he doesnt do that anymore, hes started to gamble without the ues of actual money, he was very open when we first got together about his gambling situation, hes never asked me for money even though he knows i am financially stable.. the way i was thinking is im sat on money that is just sat in a bank doing nothing and he is in crippling debt which is causing family problems.. i feel stupid for saying i would but i cant go back now can i?

how much in debt is he?

does he work?

what does his family say?

I dont know the full amount because as i say he doesnt talk to me about money issues i just know about the family debt as he had an argument with them, he works 18 hours a day too sort himself out! So i cant fault him really! Just wanted advice on what I should do about paying the debt of a family member

If he doesn't talk to you about money, you don't give him money. The end.

Under any circumstances I'd say it's a bad idea, especially when you're considering you're not married and hence not in any way liable for his debt.

And even if you were to, that's a one way ticket to Resentment City. While I question whether I'd even bother to take on a woman who had gambling problems or spending issues, if for whatever reasons she brought all kinds of other great things to the table to make it worth it, I'd simply disconnect from her financially and let her handle her own affairs while I took care of my own.

My big question is what's in this for you? What do you feel you have to gain by paying off his debts?

Hes not getting any help.. says he should go gamblers anonymous.. im 24 and hes 28, so i kinda feel like were still young in a way?

I dont condome his gambling and i try to stop him where i can, i just worry its going to get more serious hes been gambling for 10 years already..

My dear, this is why he needs to get professional help. You aren't able to help him in that way.

Giving him money only enables his addiction. It actually hurts him.

Maybe you could do some reading on loving someone who has addiction issues. Absolutely no credible source will advise you give an active addict money.

Don't do it. At some point you will regret it.

He has an addiction so his words are not at much value regarding this subject.

Keep the finances separate.

Financial stability is something important if you want to build a life together. I suggest you to take a step back and watch what he is really doing to treat his addiction.

I would not pay his debt & I would walk away!

My friend was married to a great guy for 6 years, they had 2 kids, good life, then she found out he had a gambling addiction.

She started divorce proceedings as he had cleaned out the bank accounts, maxed out the credit cards & was about to refinance the house.

Thank goodness she got out before the debt collectors started knocking.

I would seriously reconsider a life with someone like this unless he gets ongoing professional help

No, you never pay the debts of someone you're not married to. Especially not gambling debt.

my partner has a gambling problem he is knee deep in debt,

Do NOT pay off his debts! All of his debts are of HIS own making. Clearly he must know he has a major problem and if HE can't even help himself to get this gambling addiction under control and sorted out, then under no circumstances should you bail him out, as all you then do is enable him (imo).

He needs help and you paying off his debts would NOT be helping him at all. All it does is show him that "oh, my girlfriend will save my a$$". He won't bother getting the professional help he needs.

Remember, once you start paying off his debts, he'll expect it all the time and before you know it, YOU will be broke and in debt. DON'T do it!