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Thread: Do i pay off his debt?

  1. #11
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    The problem has got better though in the past he would max out credit cards just too get money too gamble but he doesnt do that anymore, hes started to gamble without the ues of actual money, he was very open when we first got together about his gambling situation, hes never asked me for money even though he knows i am financially stable.. the way i was thinking is im sat on money that is just sat in a bank doing nothing and he is in crippling debt which is causing family problems.. i feel stupid for saying i would but i cant go back now can i?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Don't blame your age on bad money choices.

    This would be a deal breaker for me.

  3. #13
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    You would be a fool to pay off his debts.

    Yes, he needs money. But paying it off would not make this problem go away. It would enable it, and you cannot take the word of an addict that they won't do this again.

    He needs professional help, both for his addiction and his financial problems. You cannot provide that help. Please, do not give your money to him. You will regret it.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Doc Blaze's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Unicornpuglove
    The problem has got better though in the past he would max out credit cards just too get money too gamble but he doesnt do that anymore, hes started to gamble without the ues of actual money, he was very open when we first got together about his gambling situation, hes never asked me for money even though he knows i am financially stable.. the way i was thinking is im sat on money that is just sat in a bank doing nothing and he is in crippling debt which is causing family problems.. i feel stupid for saying i would but i cant go back now can i?
    how much in debt is he?

    does he work?

    what does his family say?

  5.  

  6. #15
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    I dont know the full amount because as i say he doesnt talk to me about money issues i just know about the family debt as he had an argument with them, he works 18 hours a day too sort himself out! So i cant fault him really! Just wanted advice on what I should do about paying the debt of a family member

  7. #16
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    If he doesn't talk to you about money, you don't give him money. The end.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Under any circumstances I'd say it's a bad idea, especially when you're considering you're not married and hence not in any way liable for his debt.

    And even if you were to, that's a one way ticket to Resentment City. While I question whether I'd even bother to take on a woman who had gambling problems or spending issues, if for whatever reasons she brought all kinds of other great things to the table to make it worth it, I'd simply disconnect from her financially and let her handle her own affairs while I took care of my own.

    My big question is what's in this for you? What do you feel you have to gain by paying off his debts?

  9. #18
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Unicornpuglove
    Hes not getting any help.. says he should go gamblers anonymous.. im 24 and hes 28, so i kinda feel like were still young in a way?
    I dont condome his gambling and i try to stop him where i can, i just worry its going to get more serious hes been gambling for 10 years already..
    My dear, this is why he needs to get professional help. You aren't able to help him in that way.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Giving him money only enables his addiction. It actually hurts him.

    Maybe you could do some reading on loving someone who has addiction issues. Absolutely no credible source will advise you give an active addict money.

  11. #20
    Member coconut5's Avatar
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    Don't do it. At some point you will regret it.
    He has an addiction so his words are not at much value regarding this subject.
    Keep the finances separate.
    Financial stability is something important if you want to build a life together. I suggest you to take a step back and watch what he is really doing to treat his addiction.

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