No idea how - final ending

I just wanted say thank you to everyone that has given me advice in the past forums I have been posting. He just wants to end it he told me, after over a year. He seems fine and just let me go. Again thank you guys and I thought by now I would more okay then the beginning of the three weeks, but this is the worst feeling that I have ever felt even with past relationships i wasn't that bad. I need time I cannot do this anymore.

I'm sorry it ended! I know it feels horrible right now but it will get better! For now just grieve; let it all out.

You can do this and you will. Go NC and log on here to vent.

Thank you Cope, it feels the worst and it doesn't feel like its getting better. He doesn't want to talk, but he'll text, but he has nothing to say when I have a million questions running through my mind. Known him for years and even worked together/ deployed. We known each others past and he made it seem like he was planning the future and then just let go. I don't even know how to vent, but sadly just cry and not know what I did wrong? i still had hopes. As before I always get the short end of the stick.

I blame myself... and maybe I shouldn't, but if only I was able to get there quicker.

That would just delay the inevitable break up. It's better that it happened sooner rather than later. It's not either of you two's fault. It's the circumstances. LDRs are HARD and tbh not fulfilling. They live on a promise. With normal relationships you get the whole deal, you get everything you need and you get it now. You develop together you get hugs, dates, hanging out in silence. You can't top that. It doesn't matter if you were a good match, you weren't together and the longer that lasts, the more the damage. I learned this too, the hard way. There are some questions that you'll have to answer yourself. Stay NC!

If it's meant to be, it will be. Meanwhile, focus on yourself. Start doing the things you used to do prior to the relationship. Enjoy your single life! Love yourself!

I was willing to visit as soon as possible if it worked I was willing to move which is a big move with him being in ak and myself being im tx for now. I don't habe answers for why he just let go after knowinf i loved him and ge said he did, but obviously didn't. I ise to workout and just like being outdoors, but for the past few weeks I don't have any anything to be around people. We do have some mutual friends from work as well. We all know each other. I've known him since 2012. I just find it out hard especially since he was there during the deployments and the stuff I guess you would say we went through. That second one was scary, but I don't have friends here since I'm new to the area, moved here recently as I was stationed in co and don't feel like anyone else would understand as easily as he did about everything without being judged. I get enough judgment from the family as is.

Two of my best friends are also stationed in colorado and i promised them I would visit before I even knew of him being there anf it just happened that way. I don't see how I can visit now knowing he would be so close and I can't break a promise to them. I will defitnetly stay no comtact. I know it sounds bad, but I somehow wish hes hirting like he has put me through. I know most likely he isn't.

Sometimes we just fall out of love. It happens. It sucks when you're on the other end, but there's usually no explanation for it. In this case it's most likely the distance though. As I mentioned and you already know, LDRs are hard. How many times can you say "I love you" without a hug?

Even if you did manage to go to Colorado to see him, it wouldn't make a difference. I went through your older posts and from what I understand, he was already distant the last time you visited. Maybe he thought he could handle an ldr and realized he couldn't, that happens too.

Stay NC. You don't have to visit your friends right away if the idea of randomly seeing him bothers you. You can explain the situation to your friends. Grieve, vent, answer your own questions and do things you love. Don't force yourself not to think of him. Cry your eyes out til you're tired of it but do force yourself to get up and do something you love even for 5 minutes a day. Something to take care of you even if it's simple as combing your hair. It's hard that you have noone in real life, but hey you got us!

Thank you Cope. I never saw it that way that you can't say I love you with no hug or even kiss. I was stationed in colorado at the time before here, but I'm out of active. Interesting you said combing your hair as I just managed too! Lol thank you a lot. That made me smile. No the family doesn't understand and I always get some kind of comment like oh the Army taught her that. No they didn't, or are you going to get a real job now? Like active army was a game, or my favorite was oh your brainwashed and just don't know it, but you are. I think I will stick to this forum as it does seem I'm not the only one hurting and again thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot.

I'm really happy I can help! This forum is indeed a life saver. I actually found it when I was struggling with an ldr breakup. Full of wise people, you'll be safe here.

Noone knows what it's like to be in the army better than people who are actually in it. Pay no attention to them. They want to help, but don't know how. It's weird, but indeed talking with people who are going through the same is extremely helpful!

You really did help. That's how I came across this forum myself. I have never went anywhere about relationship advice, but this one just meant so much to me and still does. I don't even hate him and I know I should, but I love him dearly. I didn't realize there were quite a few people in LDR or have been. I will try to ignore them or walk away. Thank you for being a listening ear and your advice.

You don't have to hate him! You will probably be mad at him for a while, but not hate. We can't control other people's feelings. You can't blame him for anything tbh, it's just the distance. If it wasn't for the distance maybe you two would've not even lasted this long. Think about it. Being close to each other progresses the relationship faster than in a ldr. Maybe you weren't such a good match. Just a thought.

Something that always helps me through Break ups is focusing on his bad traits, the ones we conveniently ignore when we are in the honeymoon phase. He has to have some. If not, then you didn't really know him and like many of us, fell for a guy we partially created in our mind.

So focus on the bad! Keep posting!

Thank you and I will try to focus on his flaws lol. He did have some and so did I, but I know I'm not perfect either. I guess NC from him to me. Oh god thats a lot of working overtime or gym lol. You made me hopeful. Thank you for that.

From me to him oops