I don't know whats wrong with me: mental health and relationships

My head seems to be spinning in circles and the more I think about this the more it makes me wonder what exactly is wrong with me.

I'm in a happy healthy relationship of almost 1 year. My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20's, he loves me and I trust him 100%. Im not worried that my boyfriend will cheat on me but I find myself overthinking things a LOT.

Any time he mentions a female friend or co-worker I get upset (internally, and it dampens my mood). I think of if he flirts with them behind my back or if he views them in a different way. When I see women dressed provocatively outside I get disgusted because I picture my boyfriend looking at these women. I find myself going through scenarios in my head over and over and I feel like I'm always doing an internal investigation on the women in his life. I don't know how to describe this but I don't think its jealousy because no part of me wants to look like/be these women. I don't feel like its insecurity because i'm genuinely happy with myself as a person..but its a feeling of uneasyness when it comes to other women in general.

I sometimes feel like I don't get the appreciation that i want from him. I'm used to men in the past being very verbal about how they feel about me and how lucky they are to have me etc that I feel like my current boyfriend doesnt do this. I feel like he doesn't truly appreciate my worth because he will compliment on other women being attractive (not a lot, but here and there) and it upsets me for some reason.

I overthink everything and mentally i feel like there is something wrong with me. I wish I could explain this better but I'm starting to think i need to speak to someone about these issues before it ruins my life and my relationship.

From what you are saying it appears you have some deeply-seeded insecurity issues that may be self-esteem related. If you "trust him 100% and are not worried about him cheating" as you say, then what is the problem? Your worry about other women with him is not rational if he has no history of, and you don't think he's even capable of; infidelity. And he (your b/f) making an occasional casual remark about another woman being attractive has NOTHING to do with your "worth" or "value". You ARE overthinking things way too much. If these feelings of insecurity continue, it might lead you to sabotage the relationship with him. I would suggest speaking to a counselor about and head the potential problem off before your negative thoughts cause turbulence in what you describe as an otherwise "happy" relationships. Insecurities and self esteem are potential relationship killers. Get a handle on these feelings you are having asap!

Oh my gosh, I feel like this could've been something I wrote about myself a few years back. I mean, I felt EXACTLY the way you describe. I hated watching movies with him because there's always nudity, and 99% of the time it's naked women. And he'd always have some kind of comment. I hated going out in groups with him because he'd always do something that made me uncomfortable. For example, I was driving and he was in the passenger seat when we passed some friends walking on the side walk. They all jumped in the car, one of the girls climbed in front and sat on his lap. I was uncomfortable but shut my mouth. Then he says "yeah, that's a roll of quarters in my pocket." It was clearly a joke, but made me feel 100x worse. I should have dumped him right then.

I thought it was me the whole time too. I thought I was crazy insecure. I felt like one of "those girls". But we finally broke up, and when I started seeing someone new, I realized I didn't feel that way with him. I wasn't worried, uncomfortable, or insecure at all. Movies didn't bother me, porn didn't bother me....he|| I wouldn't have cared if he wanted to go to a strip club.

The difference was the guy and the way he treated me. The second guy made me feel loved, cherished, like I was everything he wanted or needed. The first guy made me feel like he was happy to have me but still was aware that there were a million other options.

I know how you feel, and it's an awful spot to be in. I am 10000% happier for leaving that guy. In fact, I'm now married to literally the best husband I could've asked for. And I never would've gotten that chance if I hadn't left the guy that made me feel like crap. You only get one life, so choose your future wisely!!

Insecurities and self esteem are potential relationship killers. Get a handle on these feelings you are having asap!

Thank you, I agree.

Everything you're describing is how I feel. Good to know i'm not alone in these feelings. Thank you for giving me something to think about.