Anyone have experience with dating in NYC?

I can literally live anywhere I want on my companies dime. I was planning on moving to Chicago in the Fall and staying there for a couple of years, establishing Chicago as my permanent residence which would mean no stipend. but after talking to my recruiter today, I can also go to NYC if I choose for 1 year and I will get a housing stipend. Now I'm leaning towards NYC because it's so close to other fun cities like DC and Boston. Chicago is surrounded by, well, cornfields.

There are perks to living in Chicago: I know it well and it's not far from my family, pay will still be decent and cost of living isn't too bad.

But how many ppl can live for free in NYC? I feel blessed to have this opportunity.

I'm also in a state of flux because I'd love to date and settle down as in marriage. If I were to meet someone in NYC or anywhere, I could easily live there permanently so geographics isn't an issue to me! But I've read how difficult it is to date in NYC as most of the men are looking for a Barbie doll or 20-something. I'm average at best in looks, I have other great things about me, but we all know looks are the most important thing initially.

Chicago >>>>> NYC

people are way nicer, cost of living much much much cheaper, better sense of community, not as packed, traffic not nearly as bad, etc...

source: somebody who goes to both places all the time

I live in NYC right now. There are few cities worse for long term dating. But you could probably score a lay any night of the week if that's your thing.

Person A can tell you "Oh I found Mr. Right while visiting the Guggenheim." Person B might say, "NYC dating sucks. I can't find anyone compatible with me."

Chances are you're going to get different stories. With NYC being such a melting pot, you'll get a large variety of personalities, cultures etc. It's what you make of it. My brother met his wife at a Halloween party. With online dating being so popular, I'm sure you won't find a problem finding someone.

Personally, I like NYC. Like you said it's closer to Boston and DC. Not to mention you have Long Island, the beaches, upstate NY, New England etc. It's all a matter of perspective.

Person A can tell you "Oh I found Mr. Right while visiting the Guggenheim." Person B might say, "NYC dating sucks. I can't find anyone compatible with me."

 

Chances are you're going to get different stories. With NYC being such a melting pot, you'll get a large variety of personalities, cultures etc. It's what you make of it. My brother met his wife at a Halloween party. With online dating being so popular, I'm sure you won't find a problem finding someone.

 

Personally, I like NYC. Like you said it's closer to Boston and DC. Not to mention you have Long Island, the beaches, upstate NY, New England etc. It's all a matter of perspective.

NYC sucks to live in. You need to make 800K a year to live comfortably (at least my idea of comfortably), it's just too packed, too much traffic, too dirty, people are a-holes

Chicago is better

And, to echo the first responder, Chicago is better in pretty much any way. I've lived in the Big 3, and if it ween't for my lady earning well into the six-digits here, I would not be staying. If you speak Spanish and aren't basic as all get-out, you could do well and find some sense of community in the area I reside, in way Upper Manhattan, but it's not very "hip." No denying there's good food and a lot of it, and I hit up a $1 slice shop pretty much any time I walk past one. But I'd have to use two hands to count how many homeless people fights I've seen downtown in the past couple months... like... for real fights. As in pedestrians getting knocked the **** over. One of which involved a full grown dude kicking a lady's head against the curb that I had to jump in for (which dozens of others were watching, outside Penn ****ing Station, just if you want to know the character of most the ***holes in this town). Then you've got the mountains of garbage bags on the sidewalks truly are a thing of legend.

Basically, unless you're getting hooked up in a really affluent Lower Manhattan 'hood, your quality of life is going to take a ****. I mean do it if you wanna say you did it. It's just not the Sex and the City glam a lot of folks think it is. Even shows like Broad City and Girls... imagine the crappy aspects they show and then the kinda redeeming charm they include with it and take out the charm... and the 1000 extra square feet their apartment has that doesn't exist anywhere.

Am I bitter? You're G-D right. If it weren't for the Dominicans being bearable to live among, I'd have shot myself.

And, to echo the first responder, Chicago is better in pretty much any way. I've lived in the Big 3, and if it ween't for my lady earning well into the six-digits here, I would not be staying. If you speak Spanish and aren't basic as all get-out, you could do well and find some sense of community in the area I reside, in way Upper Manhattan, but it's not very "hip." No denying there's good food and a lot of it, and I hit up a $1 slice shop pretty much any time I walk past one. But I'd have to use two hands to count how many homeless people fights I've seen downtown in the past couple months... like... for real fights. As in pedestrians getting knocked the **** over. One of which involved a full grown dude kicking a lady's head against the curb that I had to jump in for (which dozens of others were watching, if you want to know the character of most the ***holes in this town). Then you've got the mountains of garbage bags on the sidewalks truly are a thing of legend.

 

Basically, unless you're getting hooked up in a really affluent Lower Manhattan 'hood, your quality of life is going to take a ****. I mean do it if you wanna say you did it. It's just not the Sex and the City glam a lot of folks think it is. Even shows like Broad City and Girls... imagine the crappy aspects they show and then the kinda redeeming charm they include with it and take out the charm... and the 1000 extra square feet their apartment has that doesn't exist anywhere.

 

Am I bitter? You're G-D right. If it weren't for the Dominicans being bearable to live among, I'd have shot myself.

pretty much all of the above

What I like about Chicago is that it's a very big small city. People are still nice and you can live comfortably making 100K a year.

NYC sucks to live in. You need to make 800K a year to live comfortably (at least my idea of comfortably), it's just too packed, too much traffic, too dirty, people are a-holes

 

 

Chicago is better

Again, it's a matter of personal opinion. I'm not saying New York is all sunshine rainbows, because clearly it's not.

However if you want to point out the cities "downfalls" how about we talk about crime?

Chicago saw 762 homicides last year. That's more than NYC AND LA combined. This is also despite having a population one-third the size of New York’s.

As in pedestrians getting knocked the **** over. One of which involved a full grown dude kicking a lady's head against the curb that I had to jump in for (which dozens of others were watching, outside Penn ****ing Station, just if you want to know the character of most the ***holes in this town).

Good for you for getting involved. Some people have no clue.

Again, it's a matter of personal opinion. I'm not saying New York is all sunshine rainbows, because clearly it's not.

 

However if you want to point out the cities "downfalls" how about we talk about crime?

 

Chicago saw 762 homicides last year. That's more than NYC AND LA combined. This is also despite having a population one-third the size of New York’s.

Chicago has some very very rough areas, I will not deny that but the nice areas are very nice.

I have no personal perspective on living in New York. I just want to chime in that as someone from small town Ohio this thread is disconcerting. We're throwing out six-digit salaries like they're almost not enough. o.o

That said, I do know some people who have lived in NYC for a time, and none of them found anyone. At least one kid from my high school moved back to Ohio because he felt the dating options were better.

I have no personal perspective on living in New York. I just want to chime in that as someone from small town Ohio this thread is disconcerting. We're throwing out six-digit salaries like they're almost not enough. o.o

 

That said, I do know some people who have lived in NYC for a time, and none of them found anyone. At least one kid from my high school moved back to Ohio because he felt the dating options were better.

you can't even fathom how expensive it is to live in New York. A nice 2 bedroom apartment, you're talking 4-6,000 a month just to rent. My sister in NY pays 300-400 a month just for tolls

Even if you make 180K a year - that's 15K a month which is 10K a month after taxes. That gets burned up real quick paying 6K for rent

you can't even fathom how expensive it is to live in New York. A nice 2 bedroom apartment, you're talking 4-6,000 a month just to rent. My sister in NY pays 300-400 a month just for tolls

 

 

Even if you make 180K a year - that's 15K a month which is 10K a month after taxes. That gets burned up real quick paying 6K for rent

I mean, I had no dreams about being the country girl turned city slicker, but if I did they'd probably be dead by now. I just checked the salaries for my profession and they're literally the same as most other parts of the country, including one I'm in the process of applying to...in small-town Ohio. How the hell...

I mean, I had no dreams about being the country girl turned city slicker, but if I did they'd probably be dead by now. I just checked the salaries for my profession and they're literally the same as most other parts of the country, including one I'm in the process of applying to...in small-town Ohio. How the hell...

people in NY live with like 6 roommates...

you can't even fathom how expensive it is to live in New York. A nice 2 bedroom apartment, you're talking 4-6,000 a month just to rent. My sister in NY pays 300-400 a month just for tolls

 

 

Even if you make 180K a year - that's 15K a month which is 10K a month after taxes. That gets burned up real quick paying 6K for rent

He's spot on.

I'm sorry I just can't see anything positive about either of the places except Chicago is closer to cornfields.

Thanks to all for responding. I'm definitely not into hookups and I consider myself to be pretty domesticated. I'm going to be in NYC for a few days this week and I'll get a better feel for it. I know my company will not put me in anything fancy, I'm sure it'll just be a very basic studio. Which brings up another point that I'll need to consider....cooking. I love to cook and I haven't been able to do much of it because of the small kitchen(ettes) that come with company housing. At least in Chicago, I can get my own place with a nice kitchen and cook up some healthy meals.

Crime, yeah, it's definitely a factor. I know which areas to avoid in Chicago. And I pretty much know which 'hoods are in my top 3 to live. Not sure my company will know which areas are bad when they place me somewhere in NYC.

It'll be nice living close to my family should I stay in Chicago; however, I'm not sure how long I truly want to stay in Illinois considering the entire state is about to claim bankruptcy. I'm almost wondering if I'll have better job security elsewhere considering the mess that Illinois is in.

Decisions decisions! I've always done well with change, so it's just a matter of figuring it all out.

I'm sorry I just can't see anything positive about either of the places except Chicago is closer to cornfields.

Lol! You sound like my mom. 😂😂

Chicago has three downsides- the standard stuff associated with a big city (overpopulation, traffic), horrible weather 5 months of year and isolated heavy crime areas but if you want to live in a huge city, it is still a great option. Its very reasonable cost of living compared to east coast and west coast, people are nice, great sports town, great food, beautiful men and women, great nightlife, etc... In the summer, Chicago is spectacular

The appeal of New York depends on your age and personality. I lived there for 10 years after college, and was ready to get out by year 7. Have fun on your visit, but I can tell you that living in NYC is nothing like visiting. If you choose to move there, it will be a lot of fun for a newcomer because there's so much to explore.

As for dating, someone mentioned earlier, there's definitely a quick-hookup culture there. There's so many options, so young people there tend to have a mentality that someone better is always around the corner (or on the next swipe - to be more accurate). Plus most professionals who move to NYC from elsewhere tend to be extremely career driven, and aren't looking to get into personal entanglements in their 20s. That said, many of my friends in their early 30s have been getting engaged lately, so it is possible.

I can't speak for Chicago, but I lived near NYC most of my life and I never had the desire to live there. In fact I chose to move states rather than commuting or moving into the city for work (where a majority of jobs in my field were).

J.man painted an accurate picture. Being from NY, I always thought the city was how everyone was everywhere-it's definitely not. By and large people are not super kind or forgiving. That's not to SAY everyone is like that, but when people ask me what New Yorkers are like I mostly tell them "Rushing, stressed out and aggressively trying to get wherever they need to be while being preoccupied in whatever they have going on."

Friends who have moved there have mixed views. Some say it gets real old real quick-especially the housing conditions and some love it. It just depends.

Also the garbage bag piles are a very real thing.

Just so it's not all negative, let me emphasize just how much I miss the pizza and bagels.

I think both cities would be fine, but simplistically: NYC has a lot of singles; the more singles the more people there are to meet; the more people you meet the higher the chance of meeting someone you're compatible with. NYC has lots of activities that are easy to get to even without driving, so you can always be doing things where people are, which is really how dating happens. Obviously if you spend your time in snooty clubs and bars, you'll meet snooty people who are looking for hookups and not relationships. Since NYC is known for fashion and atmosphere I think that gives it a bad name when it comes to dating. But that's a small part of the city.

I also suggest Clifton, NJ as a place to live. I've never been there and don't know a thing about it, but about half of the matches that eHarmony sends me seem to be from there. Based on my calculations, the population of Clifton must be about 85% singles! I so wish I could restrict eH's results to just those in a 10-mile radius, these outback matches are ridiculous! Kidding about the Clifton suggestion btw.

Thanks to all for responding. I'm definitely not into hookups and I consider myself to be pretty domesticated. I'm going to be in NYC for a few days this week and I'll get a better feel for it. I know my company will not put me in anything fancy, I'm sure it'll just be a very basic studio. Which brings up another point that I'll need to consider....cooking. I love to cook and I haven't been able to do much of it because of the small kitchen(ettes) that come with company housing. At least in Chicago, I can get my own place with a nice kitchen and cook up some healthy meals.

 

Crime, yeah, it's definitely a factor. I know which areas to avoid in Chicago. And I pretty much know which 'hoods are in my top 3 to live. Not sure my company will know which areas are bad when they place me somewhere in NYC.

It'll be nice living close to my family should I stay in Chicago; however, I'm not sure how long I truly want to stay in Illinois considering the entire state is about to claim bankruptcy. I'm almost wondering if I'll have better job security elsewhere considering the mess that Illinois is in.

 

Decisions decisions! I've always done well with change, so it's just a matter of figuring it all out.

I think it's great that you're spending some time in New York. You could do the touristy thing, but it's going to be nuts especially this time of year. There are tons of places where you can visit so you're not dealing with all tourists.

Also, like someone else mentioned, the city is definitely filled with young, hungry professionals. It's all about that paper. Then once they get a little older they begin to migrate to Brooklyn, or another borough. By that point, most of them are engaged, expecting etc.

I'm sure Chicago is the same way, but if you move to NY, networking is key. If you make a lot of contacts then finding another job, would be a lot easier. (Depending on what industry you're in.)

Funny, my brother and sister-in-law were just talking about this. Making 65k a year in the city is basically a joke. Chances are you would have to live in one of the boroughs, or commute in from Connecticut, Westchester County etc. Even then, finding a place along the shoreline of would be quite pricey as well.

In New York City girls can get all the sex they want while guys have to be good looking to get any sex.

Mathematically that doesn't really add up unless men make up more than 50% of the population.

Right, MLD!!

All these girls must be having sex with a whole bunch of men, unless they limit themselves to the delivery man or the plumber.