My son doesn't enjoy anything other than video games

Lately all he likes to do is play video games, not going outside to play, not interested in trips. Nothing. How can I help get him out of this ?

He is 10 if that helps.

aren't you the parent? put a time limit on it.

My son is 10 too and loves video games and you tube. I don't allow it Mondays and Tuesday. Wednesday is a midweek treat day so he has it after dinner. Thursday and Friday its not allowed and then he is allowed it for the weekend. Having said that, I've spoken to him about not replacing his friends for this so as a general rule if a friend comes calling for him he goes out. Additionally there is a time limit set.

It is hard when they enjoy something so much.

I have put a time limit then all he does is sulk and it's a struggle to get him to go anywhere or want to do anything.

I have put a time limit then all he does is sulk and it's a struggle to get him to go anywhere or want to do anything.

Then it's got to the point where it's a problem hasn't it?

In this case I'd get even more strict. 2 options- he can have it at set times weekends only and be happy about it. Or its gone completely. And follow through.

If they are computer games you can try to get him into programming or modding his own games so it's a learning experience. Embrace, support and expand his interests. Use his enthusiasm to his and your advantage - send him to a free cyber camp.

I don't agree with a more punitive approach as a first go-to. Fact is it's not his fault the mother failed to introduce moderacy, which it seems Charity has successfully instilled, making her situation a bit different (and I will say I really like her system). Many kids, particularly boys, are prone to hyperfocusing, and video games are pretty much the perfect venue for that. I think it's fine to start with set times, but rather than threatening to take them away altogether, I'd try a more reinforcing technique of telling him if he can show he can responsible with his gaming during the weekend, fitting in homework, outside time, not complaining during trips, etc., then he can have 30 minutes, 60 minutes, whatever on Mondays... if he can do well with that, then he can get another weekday allowance, etc.

I also think bsweet's suggestion is very good. Fact is now, more than ever, getting attuned to technology and the languages associated with it from an early age is such a significant leg-up. And while today it's more or less a bonus, there's no telling whether in 20 years, it will prove to have been a necessity. I think if there's a way to take his interest in gaming to build his interests and skills in a productive way, that could be great.

Sulking is fine. It's just part of the addiction withdrawal. I wouldn't respond as if it makes you feel guilty. He has to go through the steps of withdrawal before he's ready to say he's bored. He'll test you too... maybe consider cold turkey.

Depending on time constraints, start introducing shared activities like going to park, library, etc.

If you get past the hurdle of gaming withdrawal, then set boundary to introduce it during school holidays, but like a treat for a day rather than making internet the norm.

I'd elaborate on the old fashioned way due to my circumstances, but I've run out of time to elaborate.

Maybe another time should it still be an issue once controls have been put into place.

I can see where you're going with the interest and fostering interest . My own son is very much into gaming and his first two years at college were in animation. He has since decided to leave the program in September though.

I think there should be a healthy balance with people though . People will still be part of life 20 years from now . My son is autistic though so he deals with people only on his own terms . And he is peopled out extremely quickly.

These games are known to cause bad addictions so I would watch for that too.

I have put a time limit then all he does is sulk and it's a struggle to get him to go anywhere or want to do anything.

Well that's just too bad for him. My kids were addicted to the internet when they were younger and they had a 1 hour time limit each and I made them stick to it. You are the parent, you are in charge. Figure out a time limit for junior and his video games. You cant back down on this one or you'll never get him to do anything. He can join a team, go to summer day camp, take up a sport like swimming. He should not be wired to a video game.

Maybe he's starting puberty. Some boys do as young as 8. Any other changes with the little dude?

You have to put a time limit on it and insist they do other things. Remember as a child if given their druthers most would eat only junk food and not shower either since they're children and to some degree have to be shown what to do, to live life properly.

So timed use and then pushed to do something else or taken out to get social. Also examine if it's just he wants to do only video games of it's an underlying issue of making friends. My middle son was very shy and had trouble making friends, so online friends became his go-to. I got him out of it by enrolling him in a couple of clubs he'd like and then he made friends through that avenue although it was hard. He did better in junior high, but still he's just an introvert, so lots of people are not his thing. I still insisted he help with the animals, the house, get out and got him into reading, which was a huge help. The local library was also a godsend for both of us since it featured lots of activities and kids his age or slightly older he could hang out with. He now thanks me for doing that since he's grown and recognizes a few things from his childhood.

As a parent you lead the way on how a child should live their life and getting them not so dependent on electronics. I know it's rough, I raised three boys, so I feel your pain. But still you have to take a hard line and not back down and do monitor his use as well, because yeah there can be people who aren't so good online either. You sound like a caring parent, so just understand sometimes you have to take the stance of "I'm the adult, my house, my rules." Without saying that of course, because nothing will make a child dig their heels in more.

Do you ever take him for a walk in an interesting place? Do you ever take him hiking or exploring in example?

You could ban computer for him,or you could show him that world is full of interesting things and hobbies that he can enjoy.

Remember, above all, you are the parent. If he sulks - then so what. Don't reward his sulking by giving in to him. I think taking the video games away is in order - not just a timelimit. I'd put them somewhere he can't get to whether its in a box at a relative's house, in your car, in your locked closet - whatever. When he begins to reenter real life and is cheerful and has meaningful friendships with friends or cousins, etc., helps around the house willingly, etc, then maybe he can have his video game backs someday for a limited time. Or not. Video games/screen time can be addictive to the brain - so think of it as getting him clean. Take him to the zoo - start a commuity service project by cleaning up yards of elderly neighbors as a project. Require he sign up for scouts, a sport, some type of hobby where he is interacting with people and getting outside.

Do you ever take him for a walk in an interesting place? Do you ever take him hiking or exploring in example?

 

You could ban computer for him,or you could show him that world is full of interesting things and hobbies that he can enjoy.

She needs to ban the video games. Because he will just sulk and act out on walks.

Boredom is healthy. When my son was 3.5, he was so addicted to his phone, that he once brought it into the tub with him. After that, no more devices. He's 5 now, and he gets to use my phone twice a week on Mondays and Wednesdays for 20 minutes tops. Other than that, he was doing swimming, then baseball, and now doing karate. Even if he resists, you must get him out of the house. If you have to, put a lock on his games, or just no games after a certain time. He will fight you for a while, but whatever. Stay strong. You're the parent, and do not need a gaming junkie.

Just put requirements for him playing video games. I am almost 30 and have played videogames since before I can remember. Sometimes quite heavily. As a child I wasn't allowed to play games until all homework and chores for the day were done.

If I played for an excessive amount my parents would make me go outside and take eye breaks. If you want him to do other things then do those things with him.

My parents would make us go camping and have no electronics. As an adult I still play a lot of games when I can. I also still do all the camping and outdoor stuff my parents made me try a long time ago.

think taking the video games away is in order - not just a timelimit. I'd put them somewhere he can't get to whether its in a box at a relative's house, in your car, in your locked closet - whatever.

Except when he goes over to a friend's house and plays there. Or the friend brings his portable gaming console to school. Then you lose the control as a parent and your child starts to resent you.

I am 100% for time limits as a token economy- he does some chore or goes outside and is rewarded time with the gaming console. I have done huge amount of research with my mental health background, and if done right, it is highly effective. Let him keep a chart that documents how much he spent doing other activities to see how much time he has earned for the game.

It is critical the child learns how to do things in moderation... banning it altogether will create problems rather than making them go away. My husband nearly failed out of college because he spent more time with video games. He didn't have a gaming console back home until he came to America as a college student, so he wasn't "taught" how to use gaming as a moderation on his own.

Set your child up for success rather than for failure. Teaching moderation is a life skill.

When my youngest son was in junior high school, on line gaming had just taken off.

He and his friends would sit in their pajamas all day and play.

I'd have to remind him to shower and get dressed.

Until I put a stop to it. I put a time limit on it and had him turn it off.

I got a lot of resistance from him and the argument that there was nothing else to do, seeing all his friend were on line too.

I told him he needed some new friends then

It got harder before it got easier. . at some point he gave up the power struggle and found something else to do. . you know, like other kids do, go outside or go swim at the neighbor kids house, ride your bike or play basketball with other kids who's parents don't permit their children to sit in their room and take root in a chair all day, unbathed in their pjs

You train him or he trains you.

Just put requirements for him playing video games. I am almost 30 and have played videogames since before I can remember. Sometimes quite heavily. As a child I wasn't allowed to play games until all homework and chores for the day were done.

 

If I played for an excessive amount my parents would make me go outside and take eye breaks. If you want him to do other things then do those things with him.

 

My parents would make us go camping and have no electronics. As an adult I still play a lot of games when I can. I also still do all the camping and outdoor stuff my parents made me try a long time ago.

She has already done that and it has not worked. Maybe you abided by limits and were a cheerful and participatory member of your household and he is not. Maybe time limits will work later, but she has to take back control at this point.

She has already done that and it has not worked. Maybe you abided by limits and were a cheerful and participatory member of your household and he is not. Maybe time limits will work later, but she has to take back control at this point.

As a child I was a terror. It was simple with me. If I didn't do the work or went over time my parents would just take the power cord to the console. Can't play games without power.