I was taken advantage of..

i am 17 years old and 2 days ago i was drinking at the cabin with 30 of my friends.. i had so much to drink I don't remember 1-2 hours of the night. I'm hearing about my behaviour and i think I'm an idiot. anyways, this happened because i was alone in the same room for a second with my guy friend of 5 years. i don't remember anything else with him but briefly kissing him. He ed me. I would have never if i was sober, he is a dirtbag and my third kill now. I feel raped but when i was drunk i told my friends i wanted to him. Does this mean he had consent? he ed me for 10 minutes then went out to start greasing on my friends. i never thought this would happen to me and now i feel harassed, embarrassed and angry at myself. I don't know how to deal with this or how to resolve and label this. i dont remember anything and when i asked he said "its all over now." "its too late" and "we did everything". please help I'm severely depressed right now and i need help before i get into a darker place like i was last year. thank you.

Chantelle.

Please go, right now, and see a counsellor either at your school/college or elsewhere. And also get checked out by a doctor.

Go see a doctor. I believe you were raped. A drunk person cannot give consent to sex, at least in the province I live in. At 17 you have no business getting drunk out of your mind so that you dont know what you did. Smarten up.

How old is this friend of yours, exactly? Was he drunk, too?

At the end of the day it doesn't matter, because you feel raped and therefore need to seek counseling from a professional and get healthcare immediately. However, it could make a difference in a legal sense.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Learn from it and do not get that drunk in the future...or if you absolutely have to, keep a responsible party with you all night.

If he was sober, you were taken advantage of. Blacking out means your brain stopped processing short-term memory, not necessarily that couldn't consent-- or at least not that you lacked any more capacity than he did to do so if he himself had been drinking heavily. I really don't like the precedent of mutually inebriated sex being defaulted to the man committing sexual assault or rape. Unfortunately, not remembering means neither you nor us can know for certain, but if you feel raped or violated, you should absolutely seek out a counselor and doctor as soon as you can.