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My husband and I have a small side business. We did some work for a neighbour. They are very sweet people under a lot of stress in many ways. Their cheque for the work bounced. It is not a lot of money and really causes us no hardship. This will be ongoing work and we have been thinking of doing it for free just to help out. They have not mentioned the money and they would have received penalties for bouncing the payment and I know they are proud sweet people. I just don't want it to be weird because we have a great neighbour relationship. Do we just act like we never noticed it bounced?

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If you value the relationship over the money and were thinking of doing the work for free anyway, then I would just not bring it up. It's possible that they already know, and are hoping you don't bring it up.

 

Yes, I value their friendship more than the money or the work. So does my husband.

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Then I'd definitely just not mention this, even in a friendly or concerned way. They know they are struggling.

 

Absolutely. We don't want to make them feel bad . I discussed it with my mom and just looking out for us she said people should pay their bills even despite difficulties. In principal I agree but we don't rely on this money it would just be a neighbour helping out a neighbour .

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If they are proud, then next time if they try and offer a cheque again, just ask for something like a pie or something. Something one of them already does and doesn't cost a lot of money. It doesn't feel like charity that way, just two people exchanging...even if it's very different in value, it's the feeling of it y'know?!

 

Anyways that has worked for me when I want to gift something to someone who has a hard time accepting any help, even if that person has helped me a million times over.

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If they are proud, then next time if they try and offer a cheque again, just ask for something like a pie or something. Something one of them already does and doesn't cost a lot of money. It doesn't feel like charity that way, just two people exchanging...even if it's very different in value, it's the feeling of it y'know?!

 

Anyways that has worked for me when I want to gift something to someone who has a hard time accepting any help, even if that person has helped me a million times over.

Exactly , or maybe some things from their garden when it starts producing produce. I know charity makes them very very uncomfortable .

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Garden stuff works!!

 

I'm pretty proud myself. My bfs dad figured it out, as he is a retired accountant and wanted to save me the hundreds of dollars for moms final taxes ( I don't trust myself to do it correctly myself, not worth the hassle with everything else). So he just insisted on wine while we do it together... made my heart melt. I would have felt very uncomfortable not giving him payment .. I know it's a gift, but it lets me feel ok to accept it . Silly I know

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I agree with your mom in principle only. Yes, people *should* pay their bills despite hardship. But as you know, yeah, it doesn't always happen. I don't believe they gave you a check knowing full well that it would bounce. Mistakes are made, s__t gets tough. If I were dealing with a client and not a friend and I didn't care about the relationship, then I'd tell them to check bounced and ask for cash instead. But the situation is difficult here, your priorities are different, so.. Difficult course of action.

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I agree with your mom in principle only. Yes, people *should* pay their bills despite hardship. But as you know, yeah, it doesn't always happen. I don't believe they gave you a check knowing full well that it would bounce. Mistakes are made, s__t gets tough. If I were dealing with a client and not a friend and I didn't care about the relationship, then I'd tell them to check bounced and ask for cash instead. But the situation is difficult here, your priorities are different, so.. Difficult course of action.

Yes, other clients I would have no difficulties asking for the money. But this is a small tight community and you live with the people you work with. It makes extenuating circumstances. They also have a severely disabled child who is physically disabled, and deaf and mute and intellectually disabled and a another child similarly disabled to mine and an average child. They have only one income. They are a very loving family who tries so hard.

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