Unsure

My fiancee and I have been together for 3 years relationship has been good but we had an issue about a year ago. Found out she was talking to a guy she use to date from high school they lost contact and hooked up again before we were dating. Anyway she still had this guys contact info in her phone and they would talk and text every now and then she would also initiate the conversation. When I confronted her she told me he was just a friend they went to prom and that was it. Fast forward 2 years later I find out she lied about their relationship it was more than that it was sexual. But this was after high school of course. I'm deeply upset that she was still contacting someone she had sex with not only that but initiate it as well. And then lie to me about her relationship with this guy. She was carrying our child while she was reaching out to him and even after the pregnancy she continued to contact him. It stopped after I ed her out about it.

Now I feel like I can't trust her. She didn't care about how I would feel while talking to this guy, she said it was just as friends but we all know things like that always start out friendly and turns into something else. And we're supposed to get married in November. I really wanna call the wedding off and just split ways. I'm not even sure if she's talking to this guy anymore she says she's not. But again my trust for her is shot.

She definitely wouldn't like it if I was talking to some girl I had a sexual relationship with.

If you are even thinking about calling off the wedding or even unsure about marrying her, then you should break this off. It is a very clear sign you should not marry her.

Trust is very difficult to repair. You can't have a relationship without it.

Does she not have any other friends? If so, then why is she reaching out to this dude than her girlfriends? There is something very wrong with this picture.

There's is a reason why you can't trust her. I think you should pay attention to your gut feeling, you need to be sure about someone before getting married.

Let me clarify, she had sex with him BEFORE beginning to date you??

If that is correct, and the conversations weren't at all incriminating, then you're being ridiculous. Why can't she be friends with someone she had a fling with before she met you? She's already chosen to be with you, so you forcing her to choose between you and her friends is for what reason??

And as far as lying to you about her relationship, maybe she didn't want to be judged or, as you put it, b!+ched at for something that she can't change because ITS IN THE PAST. I haven't told my husband about many of the people I've been with. My life before him is not his business, and now neither of us have to monitor each other's phone or friends.

Let me clarify, she had sex with him BEFORE beginning to date you??

 

If that is correct, and the conversations weren't at all incriminating, then you're being ridiculous. Why can't she be friends with someone she had a fling with before she met you? She's already chosen to be with you, so you forcing her to choose between you and her friends is for what reason??

 

And as far as lying to you about her relationship, maybe she didn't want to be judged or, as you put it, b!+ched at for something that she can't change because ITS IN THE PAST. I haven't told my husband about many of the people I've been with. My life before him is not his business, and now neither of us have to monitor each other's phone or friends.

There's a reason you haven't told your husband. And I don't care about her past. My main issue is that she lied to me about this guy.

Would you be willing to go to counseling with her? I am not saying you're wrong in how you feel, but a third-party might help you to sort out whether or not there is anything left to salvage, or if you would both be better off ending it.

I have to wonder how much you ever really trusted each other. You say you confronted her with this information, so I am curious how you found out they were talking and what they were talking about. If you checked her phone, for example, it indicates a pre-existing problem with trust (however justified, or not) and I wonder what the dynamic was like between you two before you even discovered who this guy really was. Can you give us some more context?

I was working on her phone she needed some things backed up and that's when I can across her deleted messages, didn't read them just saw she was communicating with a guy I asked her who he was and she told me just a guy she went to prom with from high school nothing big, I asked her if the relationship was anything serious she said no later finding out the relationship was much more.

Don't care that she slept with him, it was before us meeting the problem is they contacted each other over a period of time.