Is it normal?

Hello everyone,

Thank you for providing support and advise to those who does not have anyone to go to.

Here's my story:

I have been in a 5 years relationship with him and we pull through although we have our downs. I guess I have always questioned if he is indeed the one for me or if it is just a sense of familiarity and comfort. However, the one thing that I really appreciated was that he is trustworthy and honest. That lasted long. . Last night, I asked if I could send a picture he took with his phone over to my phone as he was busy doing stuff. His reply was " I have deleted the picture". As it is an iphone, I told him not to worry and that I could retrieve it back from the "deleted media" file that keeps all deleted media for 3 months or so. When he heard that, he immediately ran over to me and grabbed his phone out of my hand pulling my wrist really hard and said "I want to see what's in that folder". He then passed me back the phone and made slightly nasty comments about not knowing there is a "deleted media" file. The thing is, he doesn't know that I can work an iphone out quickly and already opened the folder to retrieve the video. I saw pictures of other girls in that folder but quickly went back to the "home screen" as I did not know how to react. When he passed the phone back to me, I knew several pictures were gone and I asked him why he was so nervous. His said "nothing, there is nothing to hide." Anyway, I asked him again as I wanted to understand and also know if he is going to lie to me. He did. He said he did not delete anything and there was nothing in that folder. I then told him that he could stop lying as I know how many pictures were in the folder before and how many there are now, which he replied "am I not entitled to keeping certain things to myself?"

I did not say anything else and we went to bed. This scenario is playing over and over in my head again.

I should not have ignored the warning signs. A few months ago, we were browsing youtube on his phone. I then asked if I could search for a music video I wanted him to watch and he passed me his phone. As I clicked on the "search" tab, lots of "explicit" past search history popped out. I was shocked and I passed the phone back to him and asked him what he was looking at. He said its probably a virus and that he did not search for any of those. After a long "investigation" he done, he still said that he did not search for those and that it's definitely a virus or those were videos he clicked through facebook. I then told him that youtube will always show your previous search when you click on the tab and that they will recommend videos based on your search trend (obviously he does not know that), it will not save previous search if it was just a video you were directed to from FB. He then said to me that he searched to "expand" his knowledge in certain fields. I did not overthink that and just let it go.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this or if there is something I should really worry about. I don't know if I can ever see him the same way again.

You are not overthinking. What were the pics?

Pictures of different girls. Some look like they are professionally taken photos (not celebrities)

I think that is okay. As long as his friends or stranger are not sending nudes. Do you think he is cheating?

I really have no idea actually. There was also a picture of a lady he used to like before me. Over the years, he often tells me that he was not interested in her but from what I experienced in the past, I was pretty sure he was interested. It didn't work out as the lady was looking for another "type" of man. Can't help but think that maybe I am second fiddle given that he still somehow has pictures of her (not sure if that was an old picture/new/ or was sent). She is now engaged btw.