We're so perfect but..

Hello everyone, so i'm new here and i thought why not get some advice on how to handle this guy i'm texting, so i'm gonna get right into it!

I'm a sports girl who posts her pictures on facebook.. and so i receive a lot of friend requests. However, i'm very selective... I'm a"capricorn", i'm kinda perfectionnist and picky, not to mention that i'm a confident person..So, i receive a lot of compliments on how great my body looks and all, but rarely do i get a guy that i mentally connect with (i'm really a sapiosexual!) Appearances matter a lot to me, but what's in a guy's brain is what decides whether i'm sticking around him or not.. Anyway! There's this guy, so good-looking and loves sports like me. Know that "i'm the type of girl that would push you to make the first move but who would never make the first move herself!

At first, when he texted me, i didn't give the thing much importance that i didn't even go through his profile to have an idea about the way he looks or what type of person he is..But then, he "kinda" disappeared for 2 days and i didn't notice that..When he came back on, he came to me and was like "wow! you never ask about me..i was absent for a couple of days and you didn't even notice!" Turned out that he was sick, and from that day on, i cared..! We spend almost every night texting and he's so freaking cute and we're mentally harmonized if that's the right thing to say! Trust me guys, we have sooo much in common. However, he's a "scorpio" [mysterious, jealous, honest,confident, strong..] , he told me he's been single for 5 years now [he stayed for 2 years with one girl, then 2 with another and they're still friends till now] and he doesn't want to commit cause he likes the single life (it's more peaceful for him) but he believes in the "friends with benefits thing"..Me, on the other side, i like stability and i don't like to invest in someone who might not end up to mean something to me...We discussed things, and i said that the friends-with-benefits-thing is bad cause eventually, one of the two parts will fall in love with the other and that'll cause a heartbreak..Of course that's not my only excuse cause i'm the conservative type and if i wanted to do it, i'm sure i would've been able to make him fall for me..

He's definitely the type you want to stick around and maybe have for life (even though it's been only a week maybe, but i'm sure as h*ll about this), and he's definitely not the type who would run away once he gets what he wants cause he knows also how lucky he is that i gave him the opportunity to discuss some stuff with me, and i can say we appreciate each other a LOT!

Anyway, he tried to talk me into teasing with words and to bring to light this naughty girl in me..and i told him that i don't want this to be a habit and guess what! He agreed with me that not everyone gets! He asked me about the type of compliments i get from boys, and he was so sure that he's lucky he got this chance, you know! He said he was happy that i accepted to be in this fantasy world with him, and sometimes i get him to say he misses me (he wouldn't say anything without me teasing him!) So, last night, we talked and he asked "why did you give me this chance?" and i said that he kinda "passed" the test x) lmao and that i'm happy i got someone who attracts me physically and mentally..He was then super tired and literally texting me with eyes half open..And i asked "and why are you making such an effort for me? Staying up late and talking to me?" he said he loved my company, and i said "i know this already but there is something else but you don't reveal your thoughts or your feelings" he said "well, you got the answer then!" and i said "but i want to hear it, i don't want to conclude it myself!" and he replied "sometimes it's better if you conclude it" and we had to say good night cause he was very tired, but he said we'll talk about it..

SO, what do you guys think of this? The mystery is what makes our relationship special and lit, but i need him to talk sometimes..He doesn't reveal much about he's feeling even though i know there's something (he always stays up late texting me until 8 am even when he's reaaally tired!! ) .. i think about provoking him more to get him to say things, but i don't want to put pressure on him so he doesn't get irritated, but i have the right to put a label on "this", i want us together..

It's only been a week. You don't actually know this guy yet. I tend to trust what people tell me. This guy told you he doesn't want to be in a relationship. If I was in your place I would back off because I wanted something (very badly for someone I've known for a week) with him that he has clearly told me be doesn't want.

If I was really invested I would tell him how I feel and ask him how he feels. But I wouldn't expect a relationship forming answer.

i'm the conservative type and if i wanted to do it, i'm sure i would've been able to make him fall for me..

Famous last words. 0.o

It was more of a questionnaire, he asked me whether i was in love before, and then when he said he's been single for 5 years now, i asked why and he said he just liked the peacefulness he has.. Yes, it's been only a week but he texts me every single night..Mostof the time, i tend not to send him the first message to see whether i'm on his mind, and it turns out to be a "yes!" ..I mean, what if i can make him change his mind about "committing to a gf"? I think about teasing him about it sometimes to make him react, you know!

Since when are two strangers typing back and forth for a week, are suddenly in a relationship? Be careful...

Famous last words. 0.o

I know what i'm capable of not trying to act as a stereotype..

Since when are two strangers typing back and forth for a week, are suddenly in a relationship? Be careful...

I was going to add a note at the bottom "we are not boyfriend and girlfriend", we're just enjoying the time we're having texting each other..It's one way to get to know a person from a mental perspective, you're missing the point here

It is like me texting you, MissH. You wouldn't have the faintest idea who I am or what I am like. You cannot ever get to KNOW a person just through texting.

How the h*ll can he "love your company" if he has never met you.

Mostof the time, i tend not to send him the first message to see whether i'm on his mind, and it turns out to be a "yes!" ..I mean, what if i can make him change his mind about "committing to a gf"? I think about teasing him about it sometimes to make him react, you know!

How old are you?

To be honest when feelings are on the line I think you should use your words and talk about it. Hoping and teasing and manipulating instead of communicating and listening is a strange tactic for getting into a relationship.

If you want more, tell him and see what he says.

It's only been a week. You don't actually know this guy yet. I tend to trust what people tell me. This guy told you he doesn't want to be in a relationship. If I was in your place I would back off because I wanted something (very badly for someone I've known for a week) with him that he has clearly told me be doesn't want.

 

If I was really invested I would tell him how I feel and ask him how he feels. But I wouldn't expect a relationship forming answer.

It was more of a questionnaire, he asked me whether i was in love before, and then when he said he's been single for 5 years now, i asked why and he said he just liked the peacefulness he has.. Yes, it's been only a week but he texts me every single night..Mostof the time, i tend not to send him the first message to see whether i'm on his mind, and it turns out to be a "yes!" ..I mean, what if i can make him change his mind about "committing to a gf"? I think about teasing him about it sometimes to make him react, you know!

I'm sorry. This is silly. How old are you? Get your nose out of your phone and social media and meet each other and see if there's something there. Texting till 8 am? Why not phone calls and TALKING rather than texting? Seriously. What kind of advice are you actually looking for here?

The only honest thing I take from his words is "he doesn't want to commit cause he likes the single life (it's more peaceful for him) but he believes in the "friends with benefits thing"".

He honestly hasn't told you anything else. You like the attention he's giving you and think he is different from the other boys after you, but is he really? How?

He wants the benefits and if it is really just a week, that's not enough time, he can do this for a while til he gets what he wants. If you really want a relationship with him, you have to realize that you can't have it. Sure, he might be the guy that you "definitely you want to stick around and maybe have for life" but only if you stick him in a frame. He's a living breathing human being with needs and his needs right now are all about the benefits. Which is cool, but apparently not cool for you. I understand that you are a catch, or believe so (I have no reason to doubt) and that's amazing, but try not to focus on how " lucky he is that i gave him the opportunity to discuss some stuff with me" because it sounds like he is just telling you exactly what you want to hear.

How old are you?

 

To be honest when feelings are on the line I think you should use your words and talk about it. Hoping and teasing and manipulating instead of communicating and listening is a strange tactic for getting into a relationship.

 

If you want more, tell him and see what he says.

I'm 23. I do talk about my feelings, and when i say something, he says he thinks the same that it's mutual! We're like teasing all the time, it's just a side of him, we discuss topics together, anything, we give our opinions about it and that's how we knew we had things in common.. I could say that where i'm from, people are more friendly and they're not dangerously mysterious! Like he has his pics and his family's pics on his fb and he doesn't live far from me..My question was just whether you guys think he can change his attitude and "ask me out" if i continue to be this kind of exceptional to him..Do guys get influenced by this

when i say something, he says he thinks the same that it's mutual!

Do you see this?

Also, in what ways are you exceptional?

The only honest thing I take from his words is "he doesn't want to commit cause he likes the single life (it's more peaceful for him) but he believes in the "friends with benefits thing"".

 

He honestly hasn't told you anything else. You like the attention he's giving you and think he is different from the other boys after you, but is he really? How?

He wants the benefits and if it is really just a week, that's not enough time, he can do this for a while til he gets what he wants. If you really want a relationship with him, you have to realize that you can't have it. Sure, he might be the guy that you "definitely you want to stick around and maybe have for life" but only if you stick him in a frame. He's a living breathing human being with needs and his needs right now are all about the benefits. Which is cool, but apparently not cool for you. I understand that you are a catch, or believe so (I have no reason to doubt) and that's amazing, but try not to focus on how " lucky he is that i gave him the opportunity to discuss some stuff with me" because it sounds like he is just telling you exactly what you want to hear.

Thanks a lot but let me tell you, he said exactly that he "understands that i'm not that easy" and he knows very well that i would never be in that category cause i said honestly that i hated the friends with benefits thing generally (we were discussing the topic and not talking about me and him) , and i understand he has needs but he doesn't have that type of friends (he said he rarely has it going, like a kiss is enough and of course not from a stranger lol) but he's a very honest person, i know it.. the thing is, i checked the caracteristics of a "scorpio" and it says exactly that these guys prefer to be single but when they find someone worth it, they definitely go for the relationship..i personally feel he's gonna change his mind about it cause he displays some jealousy when he knows some guys are trying to compliment and talk to me you see!

It is like me texting you, MissH. You wouldn't have the faintest idea who I am or what I am like. You cannot ever get to KNOW a person just through texting.

 

How the h*ll can he "love your company" if he has never met you.

The guy posts his pictures and his family's..he expresses his opinion about things..where i'm from, peopleare exposed you know..they're not dangerously mysterious and my country's very small so you can bet how a person can be..we discuss general topics, we don't necessarily talk relationships together..That was a kind of game we played where we had to ask eah other questions and answer honestly

Thanks a lot but let me tell you, he said exactly that he "understands that i'm not that easy" and he knows very well that i would never be in that category cause i said honestly that i hated the friends with benefits thing generally (we were discussing the topic and not talking about me and him) , and i understand he has needs but he doesn't have that type of friends (he said he rarely has it going, like a kiss is enough and of course not from a stranger lol) but he's a very honest person, i know it.. the thing is, i checked the caracteristics of a "scorpio" and it says exactly that these guys prefer to be single but when they find someone worth it, they definitely go for the relationship..i personally feel he's gonna change his mind about it cause he displays some jealousy when he knows some guys are trying to compliment and talk to me you see!

I'm sorry. This is silly. How old are you? Get your nose out of your phone and social media and meet each other and see if there's something there. Texting till 8 am? Why not phone calls and TALKING rather than texting? Seriously. What kind of advice are you actually looking for here?

haha i'm 23. and we were fasting a whole month so we don't basically go out during the day if we don't have work to do..But we're planning to meet maybe next week or so, we live not so far from each other and i had to be the one to suggest phone calls but i don't feel comfortable talking over the phone! I'm not looking for advice, i'm just asking whether a person who prefers to be single can change his mind if he finds a girl that matches him, this is it

Well, if you checked there isn't something more to discuss.

Well i checked general characteristics but not how a person might react to the presence of someone x) Just wondering whether he might change his mind about it if we continue to get on so well ^_^

OK. Ramadan.

Moving on.

"I'm not looking for advice, i'm just asking whether a person who prefers to be single can change his mind if he finds a girl that matches him, this is it"

You ARE looking for advice. And you think YOU are the girl who "matches" him, and you have never even MET this man.

Come on!

And:

"...to bring to light this naughty girl in me..and i told him that i don't want this to be a habit cause i'm not into the idea of feeling as if i'm a sort of a "sex toy" like some would call, and guess what! He agreed with me and was like "even sex is an art" that not everyone gets!

Just imagine. He has discovered the wheel. "Sex is an art. We never knew that.

You sound age 14 rather than 23. LOL.

Do you see this?

 

Also, in what ways are you exceptional?

You said i need to tell my feelings about the situation and i said i do that..for example when i say "i like the fact that there's a guy i can discuss this or this with and who's mentally open and tolerant with different opinions, i'm enjoying the conversation" he says he does think the same too! you see? Well, in my country, not all the girls are into fitness and ready to invest on their bodies, i'm strong (in character) , usually girls crack when they get a "smart" "handsome" "wealthy" guy talking to them, but i'm definitely not like that, i only want respect and tolerance in a world where girls are treated like objects..i'm an ambitious and determined person (and this is not only what i think about myself cause i'm all about confidence, this is in no way an arrogant attitude, but people perceive me in this way too, that sometimes guys feel intimidated..) although i'm very friendly once they get to know me

OK. Ramadan.

 

Moving on.

 

"I'm not looking for advice, i'm just asking whether a person who prefers to be single can change his mind if he finds a girl that matches him, this is it"

 

 

You ARE looking for advice. And you think YOU are the girl who "matches" him, and you have never even MET this man.

 

Come on!

 

And:

 

"...to bring to light this naughty girl in me..and i told him that i don't want this to be a habit cause i'm not into the idea of feeling as if i'm a sort of a "sex toy" like some would call, and guess what! He agreed with me and was like "even sex is an art" that not everyone gets!

 

Just imagine. He has discovered the wheel. "Sex is an art. We never knew that.

 

You sound age 14 rather than 23. LOL.

I rather think we match each other and the sex part, i just used it to emphasize the fact that that's not what he's after. You come on! Well, better sound younger lol

Well, he did say "sex is an art". Anyhow he can hardly have sex with you if he hasn't met you in person.

You thinking of marrying this chap?

Or is this just part of the fantasy world you inhabit behind high walls.

And

He's definitely the type you want to stick around and maybe have for life (even though it's been only a week maybe, but i'm sure as h*ll about this), and he's definitely not the type who would run away once he gets what he wants cause he knows also how lucky he is that i gave him the opportunity to discuss some stuff with me,

He sure is one lucky guy.

SO, what do you guys think of this? The mystery is what makes our relationship special and lit, but i need him to talk sometimes..He doesn't reveal much about he's feeling even though i know there's something (he always stays up late texting me until 8 am even when he's reaaally tired!! ) and i don't want this to get kinda sexual..i think about provoking him more to get him to say things, but i don't want to put pressure on him so he doesn't get irritated, but i have the right to put a label on "this", i want us together..

You are asking and we are telling you.

Well, he did say "sex is an art". Anyhow he can hardly have sex with you if he hasn't met you in person.

 

You thinking of marrying this chap?

 

Or is this just part of the fantasy world you inhabit behind high walls.

Well i don't appreciate your attitude really, you look like you're mocking what i'm saying when you don't want to understand..Again, i'm telling you that came up in a context..and well, you can get a glimps of what a mind sounds like from the inside just by texting, but you're just focusing on the sex part, whereas i wanted to know whether it might be possible for someone to chage his mind about dating if they'd decided they liked the single life, that's all!

Should i read that last line in a sarcastic tone?

Tough luck, MissH. You are here on a public forum. I didn't bring up the "sex" part. YOU did.

I understand you only too well.

No sarcasm. You did ask on here, and you can expect replies.

In your original post you asked: and I quote:

"SO, what do you guys think of this?"

You ask for our opinions and that is what you are getting.