Post here instead of contacting your Ghoster!

I had to!!

I've been seeing a lot of us struggling with ghosting and having a hard time not texting, which in most cases it's the right thing to do. So inspired by the similar thread in "healing and breakup" and NC (which really helped me) I thought of starting this one.

So, when you have the urge to text your Ghoster, spill all your feeling here instead!

Have fun!

What a great idea! I was just thinking there needs to ne a thread like this.

I have been ghosted twice recently. One guy after 5 months and one after 2 months. Is it me?

No of course it's not you! No one deserves to be ghosted! Even if it isn't a match, at least everyone needs to have the decency to let the other know.

But, I have notice this is happening A LOT. Is it because of casual dating? I don't know. I've been ghosted several times but only one really hurt. SO should we just get used to this? Unfortunately, I think so.

It seems to be the new "I'm sorry I am just not feeling it".

But, it has nothing to with our personalities, never take it personal.

I have a question too.

Does he even wonder why I'm not texting him? I mean it's day 3, I read that most send at least a "Hey, how are you?" Message by now. Also I remembered that he did show me a sign that he likes playing mind games, so this makes me even more stubborn not to send a simple hello (and forget the whole thing tbh).

But yes, main question, are they even wondering why we aren't texting after a certain amount of time, or are they happy that we received the message?

I agree that it is happening more and more. It is a sad path for society to go on if this style of communication or non-communication is to become the norm. We are all so disconnected now as it is.

Break up conversations are hard but life is hard. I would have been hurt to have him tell me he doesn't want to talk to me anymore but not saying anything and ignoring me after 5 months is MORE hurtful. Now, I am left to draw my own conclusions about what happened. That is such a cruel thing to do to someone you thought cared about you.

It is going to take me a long time to trust someone after this.

I have the same question, Cope! We talked every day or every other day since January of this year and now nothing for 11 days! Doesn't he miss hearing from me at all or wonder why I haven't reached out?! Sadly, I think he is probably thinking, "Yay, she got the hint and I didn't have to be the mean guy and officially break things off." I mean, this guy is 45yo, an educator, professional, and he does this. Unbelievable.

I have the same question, Cope! We talked every day or every other day since January of this year and now nothing for 11 days! Doesn't he miss hearing from me at all or wonder why I haven't reached out?! Sadly, I think he is probably thinking, "Yay, she got the hint and I didn't have to be the mean guy and officially break things off." I mean, this guy is 45yo, an educator, professional, and he does this. Unbelievable.

Have you met this man in person or have you only "talked" to him?

What's ghosting guys?

What's ghosting guys?

Disappearing out of the blue, not returning texts or phone calls never to be heard from again after dating for a while.

Have you met this man in person or have you only "talked" to him?

No, we met lots of times. I spent the night with him. Dinner and movies out.

I have the same question, Cope! We talked every day or every other day since January of this year and now nothing for 11 days!

 

Doesn't he miss hearing from me at all or wonder why I haven't reached out?! Sadly, I think he is probably thinking, "Yay, she got the hint and I didn't have to be the mean guy and officially break things off." I mean, this guy is 45yo, an educator, professional, and he does this. Unbelievable.

Tyger I know you're hurting, but think about this for just a second.

Since YOU haven't reached out to him either, in 11 days, couldn't it be said that YOU have ghosted him also?

I could understand if you had made an attempt or two to reach out and he never responded, but again since you haven't done that, the way I see it, you have ghosted him too.

So you both essentially ghosted each other, and at the very least you should take some responsibility for that and not put it all on him.

It takes two to make a RL and two to break it. In different ways perhaps, but the dynamic is between BOTH of you.

Just out of curiosity, why haven't you reached out? I mean obviously you really like the guy and miss him.

Nothing heavy, just saying "hey, hope things are well, miss chatting" or something simple like that. NOT to give him shyt for not having contacted you.

I realize you're insecure but you will never get anywhere in relationships or life if you continue to sit on your rear and doing NOTHING.

Allowing your insecurities and anxieties to control you rather than YOU controlling your insecurities and anxieties.

It's all a risk. If it's doesn't work, shake it off and move on. Becoming stronger for having had the experience.

P.S. To the poster who asked if she and this guy had met in person. Yes they have, Tygely created an entire thread discussing their RL.

In any event, good luck and hope you feel better soon!

I am just perplexed at what happened. The only thing I can think of is he felt I was into him more than me and bolted. Wish he would have just told me so.

I am just perplexed at what happened. The only thing I can think of is he felt I was into him more than me and bolted. Wish he would have just told me so.

Okay I see you took NOTHING from my post.

Nevermind then, best of luck.

I am just perplexed at what happened. The only thing I can think of is he felt I was into him more than me and bolted. Wish he would have just told me so.

If he did in fact, bolt, I highly doubt it was because he thought you were more into him than he was into you.

My guess would be he got tired of your passivity and decided to move on to a girl who isn't afraid to take risks and who doesn't allow her insecurities and anxieties to control her.

Disappearing out of the blue, not returning texts or phone calls never to be heard from again after dating for a while.

That's messed up. How hard is it to tell someone your done!!

Don't worry you'll find your fit. Some men like passive ladies and some don't. You just haven't found the one yet. Hang in there you will

That's messed up. How hard is it to tell someone your done!!

Not hard at all, and yes ghosting is the coward's way out, but take note that in at least one of the women's cases (to whom I responded above), SHE never reached out to him either, so there was no text or phone call for him NOT to return.

I could understand if you had made an attempt or two to reach out and he never responded, but again since you haven't done that, the way I see it, you have ghosted him too.

Katrina, I did reach out to him twice in the last week. Once last Sunday (6/11) in response to a text he sent me and once last Wednesday (6/14) telling him I hope he is doing well. Neither was a question but that never mattered in the past. I have received nothing from him since Saturday (6/10). Almost two weeks. I have been debating on whether I should text again and ask him what is up but that would be three messages I sent and that feels like a bit much. If he wanted to know where I have been, he could reach out to me.

I don't know what to do. I really miss him but him not reciprocating my last couple of texts makes me feel he is avoiding me for some reason.

Not hard at all, and yes ghosting is the coward's way out, but take note that in at least one of the women's cases (to whom I responded above), SHE never reached out to him either, so there was no text or phone call for him NOT to return.

Yea... A true ghosting is when you've reached out through phone or text or even email and they don't respond and haven't actually told you that they are ending the relationship (or whatever the dynamic of the union happened to be)

Katrina, I did reach out to him twice in the last week. Once last Sunday (6/11) in response to a text he sent me and once last Wednesday (6/14) telling him I hope he is doing well. Neither was a question but that never mattered in the past. I have received nothing from him since Saturday (6/10). Almost two weeks. I have been debating on whether I should text again and ask him what is up but that would be three messages I sent and that feels like a bit much. If he wanted to know where I have been, he could reach out to me.

 

I don't know what to do. I really miss him but him not reciprocating my last couple of texts makes me feel he is avoiding me for some reason.

Fair enough but you asked in an earlier post -- isn't he wondering why YOU haven't reached out?

So I am a bit confused now.

Fair enough but you asked in an earlier post -- isn't he wondering why YOU haven't reached out?

 

So I am a bit confused now.

I meant because I haven't continued to chase after him seeking answers.

Well, now you're as confused as I am!!

Should I call or text again? Ask an actual question? Everything is just so messed up. I don't know what to do. Maybe he thinks I don't want him now but he hasn't reached out asking how I am or why I haven't contacted him.

I meant because I haven't continued to chase after him seeking answers.

 

Well, now you're as confused as I am!!

No I get it now. You reached out him to twice last week (or week prior), to which he never responded.

Yeah, THAT is ghosting, so yeah after six months dating and talking every day, it does appear he has ghosted and is a coward. I'm so sorry, that sucks.

What you were asking about earlier is whether or not he is wondering why you are not "continuing" to text him, why you're not chasing him down, hounding him for answers.

He may be wondering that, but at this point, I wouldn't concern yourself with what HE is wondering or thinking.

Best to concern yourself with moving on.

Again so sorry. I have never had a guy I actually dated for any length of time ghost me like that but I can only imagine how hurtful that is.

Feel better and hugs.

Life goes on and remember time heals.

Should I call or text again? Ask an actual question? Everything is just so messed up. I don't know what to do. Maybe he thinks I don't want him now but he hasn't reached out asking how I am or why I haven't contacted him.

No you have already reached out TWICE, and he never responded.

There is no need to ask anything. Him not responding tells you everything you need to know, imo anyway.

Let it go. Please try to put it out of your mind, and move on.

Get back on a dating site or something, or attend meet ups.

Anything that gets you out of the house and away from thinking about it so much.

Katrina, I did reach out to him twice in the last week. Once last Sunday (6/11) in response to a text he sent me and once last Wednesday (6/14) telling him I hope he is doing well. Neither was a question but that never mattered in the past. I have received nothing from him since Saturday (6/10). Almost two weeks. I have been debating on whether I should text again and ask him what is up but that would be three messages I sent and that feels like a bit much. If he wanted to know where I have been, he could reach out to me.

 

I don't know what to do. I really miss him but him not reciprocating my last couple of texts makes me feel he is avoiding me for some reason.

Sister it's time to move on and find you a man that will respond to you.